1. And it came to pass in 2025, that there went out a decree from The Centre, that all the world should have a digital ID. 2. (And this ID was first called for when Tony was governor of Britannia). 3. But all were already ID’d, every one who wanted it. 4. DUAA was also signed into law; out of the House of Commons, into the Lords’ and onto Charlie’s desk, which is called Royal Assent; (because this was an act of parliament:) 5. DUAA’s wife DIATF, being great with private sector providers. 6. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. 7. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in certification, and registered him at OfDIA; yet still there was no room for them in the market.

Credit: Unnamed UK industry colleague, adapted from Luke 2: 1-7