having_bled_to_death™️ vision board -
Discussion
eucharist -
the stick of finger, drawing in the dirt,
you return to your dust - breathing in
the particles of how it all began,
a memory tool, your sinuses seize up,
and you sneeze to clear your head
of the cobwebs, and you weave a web
a picture of how you see it -
the small bones of your hand
a pen with which to write yourself
into the grave, to pay the toll -
for having borrowed a vehicle.
my memory is part of the soil, feeding
the gardens you grow on the land
into which my blood and marrow
decomposed. gather mushrooms -
for i am in them. eat my body, drink my blood -
and you will remember.
how i gave up a monument - for the ultimate
sacrifice: to compost and fertilize the way.
ⴲ.
the final part of the project is matching tarot cards with the gospel of thomas fragments and some torah references in the back of having_bled_to_death™️, a page per card. once i finish that, i will work on publishing all of the pages for free&fair_use.
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i also plan to write a short essay to wrap up my meandering scholarship thesis, gathered slowly into this project over the past 25 years; published with the final pages.
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🔮⬇️ tarot:
kinda yuck. surprising because it does not feel yucky in my sphere but the cards here are extremely sneaky and revenge-oriented. one of the most toxic aspects of the excessive positivity protocols is how much hate hides behind the saccharine. neutralizing the intent is the goal today. so even if you cannot taste the difference between artificial sweetener and real sucrose - there may be a sort of cleansing anyway. the anger surrounding "losing" is much more extreme than you may realize. be aware of how much delusion is behind hate; if you have not been hated before - you may struggle with how serious this is. hiding does nothing to remedy the extremes, but neither does sacrificing yourself on the altar of protest. do something no one else has done because no one else is you doing it. stop outsourcing yourself. small meals today - you might be feeling ill. there appears to be illness as a revenge cycle too, poison and tainted food may be something you see more of the remainder of the summer. real food but also information. be cautious how much cosplay you buy. real businesses poisoning customers with simples and natural untraceables, especially in areas with fanatical cults who believe in "witchcraft" and "magic"; they're struggling with their "joy" and the hatred behind the "sweetness" is measurable in how much illness leaves their establishments. the cosplaying wiccans and witches are a serious propaganda scheme which is much more pernicious than some recognize, misusing simple body energy and smart tech to appear "powerful" and "godlike" to ignorant and desperate marginalized groups. many of them own restaurants etc - and they do actually do things to the actual food for customers they struggle to control for "gaia". psychotic - and it's just violence. but they are delusional and believe they're "helping you find your way to them". cults. many of these covens are dangerous; this is one of the political and historical comparisons to "salem".... not every version of the story is an accurate representation of the layers of the reality.... "covid" is on the rise - alongside food poisoning. how interesting. cook at home more, avoid businesses which feed you data dumps - you have no idea how simple it is to poison someone targeted by a large cult because you are in the way of their supremacy. these are the types who give the crone and hermit a bad rap.
ⴲ. 
more later - basquing in the doneness. 🌞
(trying out a new protocol to combat the saccharine. i let you know.).
.... i also made a salad.
goodnight. 
(if they're all that upset, just_about_the_dress™️ protocol appears to have some chops.). 🚬