Happy birthday Derek

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Open source devs are like jazz musicians. There’s a shared framework, but they are free to interpret it in their own and create what they want. They thrive on spontaneous creativity with no rigid plans. They take risk with unexpected ‘notes’ and ‘rythms’. They contribute individually but complement each other. Like open source devs, jazz musicians have their own decentralised collaboration where musicians listen to each other and adapt in real-time. By doing this, they both create something greater, a sum of their efforts. And, like a good jazz jam session, anyone with the skills or understanding can join in and contribute.

Lessons from Fido

1. Love with all your heart and let others love you back.

Fido did everything with love. His big sloppy kisses, his tail wags, that proud look when you called him a good boy. He hated goodbyes but gave the best welcomes. When you have genuine love, it's easy to be loved.

2. The little things bring the most joy.

Morning sunbathing, belly rubs, sharing meals by my side, rolling in the sand, playing with the cats and chasing birds, Fido found happiness in the simplest things. He had a knack for reminding me that happiness didn't have to be fancy or a set goal to be achieved, it’s in the beauty of everyday life.

3. Keep going, even when things are hard.

He loved his walks, and even in his final days, he insisted on one last stroll in the park. We did it slowly and steadily, just watching him sniff every corner and wagging his tail a happy boy. Hold on to what you love, no matter how hard it gets.

4. Don’t let fear run your life.

Thunderstorms and fireworks were his worst enemies. We managed his anxiety together with hugs, music (mostly Jazz), and all the soothing I could give, but it wasn't easy. Fear is hard, but it doesn’t have to win.

5. Every day is a fresh start.

No matter what happened the day before, Fido always woke up ready for a new adventure. That’s an energy my dog and I shared over the last 12 years.

6. Live in the moment

Fido was a master of being present. Whether he was with my twin nephews, playing with his toys, or just lying by my feet, he gave all his attention to whatever made him happy in that moment.

7. Take breaks and ask for what you need.

He had the best way of pulling me out of work - stretching under my desk or nudging my chair until I noticed him. And if that didn’t work, he’d climb onto the little table beside mine and stare at me until I laughed. He always got his belly rubs, and I got my reminder to pause and breathe.

8. Be strong, no matter what.

Even with CKD, liver issues, cancer and more, he found reasons to live fully every single day. On his last morning, he even walked outside to bask in the sun. His strength was subtle but unshakable.

9. Stay close to the ones you love.

Fido was my shadow, always needing to be by my side. In his last moments, he kept reaching out to me, making sure I was there. It broke my heart, but it also fills it, knowing I was with him till the very end.

10. Let go when it’s time, but do it your way.

I didn’t want to make the decision for him. I wanted him to leave when he was ready, and he did. He was surrounded by love and in his safe place. Letting him go was the hardest thing, but it was also the most loving thing I could do.

My dog taught me how to live fully, love unconditionally, and let go with grace. Goodbye my precious boy. You will always be loved 🤍

I lost my good boy today. My heart is beyond broken. His spirit was strong and he tried so hard to stay on, but his organs started failing him.

Up until yesterday I refused to let emotions get the better of me and was trying so many different things to bring his toxic level down. But last night as I was taking a shower, Fido had a surge of anxiety and tried to go up the stairs to look for me. He has been so weak that I have been camping in the hall with him and we have not gone up to the room this week. That’s when I knew. They said when it's time, they will look for their person - and he came looking for me. After that he went on rapid decline.

We had his home administration of sub cut infusion, his gastric concoction, various liquid food, even vanilla ice cream to soothe his throat, his vet has been on back to back house calls - but he was no longer responding.

All I could do was to give him his belly rubs and gentle massages but emotions came rolling in. I told him to take his time and I think he didn't want to let me go just as much as I wanted him to stay. Even until his last breath he wanted me to pet him.

He has been my happy moments even when times were hard, and a constant joy. He is my shadow and side kick in everything I do and I cannot imagine a day without him in it.

Last lesson from Fido - when you love, just love.

Today we did many many advance test to find out why Fido is struggling so much. Unfortunately beyond his chronic kidney disease, he also has rapid liver decompensation combined with underlying cancers. We now go on full palliative care to make sure he has no pain, no nausea, eats well and do everything he loves - the park, sunshine, chase birds, play with the cats and be happy for as long as he can. He has a few days to a few weeks. If I’m lucky, he celebrates my bday with me on 31/12. If I am luckier, I celebrate his with him on 16/2. He has been my little boy and my best friend for 12 years and made my house a home. I can only hope he has had a great time with me as I have with him.

This has now become my personal journal of Fido’s survival journey as I stay up at unearthly hours watching my boy sleep. Today was quite the episode. His regular vet was close and he could not recover from his fatigues until evening so I made the call to head to any nearby vet for a dose of IV.

The closest was a 30 mins drive and the journey was stressful for him. We did met a good looking vet who was super gentle and careful with him (I wish I had at least combed my hair but he give a 50% discount nevertheless). My boy was better after we got back but 30 mins in he started vomiting, convulsing and could not control his pee. My mom broke down crying, I really thought I was going to lose him.

The only thing I could do was to keep him warm until he stopped shivering and administered 1.5ml dose of antacid and anti nausea, and 3ml fluid every 30 mins. About 2 hours later he stopped shivering, and 5 hours later he finally stood up and went out to pee. I administered another 1.5ml dose as a precaution to prevent vomiting.

He started getting his thirst back. I mixed half a mug of chamomile tea (caffeine free) with 1 litre of water and gave it to him sparingly. It apparently reduces nausea and anxiety. He is still weak but better than he was the whole day and is finally asleep. Tonight we camp in the hall.

The goal of IV is to mimic dialysis to flush out toxins but he can’t take more than 100ml as it will cause fluid retention in his lungs. Tmr’s goal is to work out a plan with his doctor to reduce his nausea - that seems to be the only thing holding him back from getting his system cleared up. For now, I have to just ensure no more vomiting. He has lost 4 kg over the last 2 weeks 💔

Fido has a very generic dog name - my mom named him after her grandpa’s dog. It was also Abraham Lincoln’s dog name.

My boy’s spirit is strong but his body is weak. For as long as he is going to keep fighting, I am going to fight for him

It’s all a work in progress

My dog has been throwing up everyday but we are getting a hang of understanding his body better. I’m still hoping we can reverse his CKD end stage.

2 days back his arteries were too shrunk, foot swollen, we had to skip IV for 2 days which caused toxin buildup. His stool has blood, his prostate swollen, his pee was leaking. i started cutting back on some meds and gave him more homemade electrolytes (1 litre water, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon sugar) which balanced him up.

Today his legs were great for an IV fix, and he took it like a champ. But I got carried away and went back to his full dosage of meds only for him to throw up again. Tonight it’s gonna be syringing in electrolytes every hour to balance him. And start over tmr.

I’m sleeping down with him. Despite him feeling awful. He can still paw you for a belly rub lol. Lessons from Fido - never miss any opportunity for a good time no matter how bad you feel

My only hope is that there is no thunderstorm tonight. In my attempts to soundproof the room, I’ve managed to block heavy sound of rain by sealing window and door gaps, and adding thick sponges, but thunders have higher decibels and these days they are just nasty.

I’ve purchased some sound insulation used for cars, and some dry walls that i'll drill to the wall for added mass. And place sound absorbent foams on it.. hopefully it works

My dog has a private nurse, driver, poop collector, personal chef, maid and passive income. I am working double job and sleep deprived. If you’ll need financial advice, look him up.

Was looking at some family pictures last night and it brought back so many memories. There’s this pic of my mom and dad where my dad would stare at her lovingly while she looks at the camera.

I grew up in a family where my parent’s were each other’s support mechanism and sidekick. They both trusted and depended on each other entirely and had a sense of adventure in their routine. They were each other’s pen pals for a few years before they actually met. And some 40 years later they still celebrated the day they went on their first date. My dad said he had very little money on their first date but because my mom spilled a drink on her pants, he bought her a pair of Levi’s with everything he had - well it worked for them lol.

They definitely didn’t have it easy raising us up as we grew up in extreme poverty, but my dad wouldn’t have advanced his career or upward mobility without my mom and my mom wouldn’t have realized she can do everything her heart desires without my dad. She picked up piano at 50 among many other skills she wanted to acquire.

I love that they were always honest with each other although that meant you can’t ever get one parent to hide your mischief from the other lol. And they had their deeply rooted passion and commonality in their love towards helping people. But most of all, they were each other's best friend. I think love like that is rare and precious.

This week’s favorite captions -

Live with intention and gratitude

When the chase ends, the routine begins

Once you start seeing results, the grind becomes addictive

It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving

Set aside some time everyday to daydream and see how effective the week is.

Never reply when you are angry, never make a promise when you are happy and never make a decision when you are sad

My boy is feeling much better today. His creatinine was off the roof at 910 umol/ (ideal range at 60-150) His urea was 48.9 umol/L (ideal range 3.6 - 8.9).

He needs his IV every day this week alongside phosphate binders, probiotics, calcium carbonate, vitamin B complex. And gastric and anti nausea meds in the morning.

I’ve got a mini apothecary going on, crushing all his meds and mixing it with either honey, baby food (fruit puree) or blended carrot and cucumber juice to syringe it in.

The hope is to bring his CKD stage down, from end stage - stage 4 to a stage 2 level which gives him a few more months. Whether his body is reacting positively we will know at the end of the week. But thus far he is much better.

If and when my dog no longer responds to the meds, I won't stress him up anymore. Until then we do what we can to make him feel better. But the fact that he trust me entirely with his life puts one in a diff state of mind.

We went to the park yesterday. I drove over and although he walked a short distance of 30m walk, he was a happy boy.

Lessons from my dog this week - can’t let fear control you. His fear of thunderstorms messed him up badly. And because the heart, gut, kidneys are all interrelated, hypertension has a domino effect. I’m building a mini wearable to measure his stats daily and halfway through soundproofing the room.

Lesson no 2 - Find joy even in toughest moments. I love how even the simplest thing like going out for his morning sun puts a smile on his face despite everything he is feeling.

As for this girl, weekends are when all the tiredness from the week comes crashing in and your body shuts down. But this weekend is going to be a ‘catch up on work’ weekend.

My routine now is to be up by 3am to work while the boy sleeps. I’ve got 6 days to several major datelines so it’s going to be quite a mad week ahead.

Hope everyone has a good rest and a great week ahead. Take it easy you’ll ❤️

i guess the simplest way to imagine the differentiation between dvms and nostr is that relay on nostr functions like the internet itself, while dvm is an app that sits on top of it.

The risk is when all clients rely on dvm as primary access point, which can lead to centralisation.

Happy Thanksgiving! ❤️

They both process data differently that’s for sure - relay is your rawest and simplest decentralized form. Dvms are like Shopify - aggregators of sorts and have centralized access points - clients might find it easier to extract data and modify than to custom build, but might create a centralized bottleneck and other centralized risks if not careful. I don’t know enough about redundant events but sounds more like a design issue than a system issue? Maybe better implementations might help (filtering etc)

That is true. And in that same spirit, the irony of statistics - they are developed based on assumptions, to validate assumptions

isn't DVM an advanced search feature with customization and automation ? i 'd reckon they would complement each other

One of the biggest challenge for my dog is overcoming the fear of thunder and fireworks. I always have Jazz on but it is no longer enough. I've started sound proofing the room. From what i read, seal all gaps first - windows and doors. I've got sound absorbents for the doors (2" thick) and additional thick sponges for the windows. And then I'm going to work on the walls and ceiling. If anyone has any tips and tricks, would love to know more.

he was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease over a year ago. It's unfortunately common for aging dogs

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