How to breathe underwater:
1. Politely ask fish for their lungs.
2. Swap lungs during synchronized swimming.
3. Exhale bubbles, claim it's genius.
#howto #lifehacks
How to live a life of adventure:
1. Whisper your dullest daydreams to a fern.
2. Trade stale crackers for ancient jungle secrets.
3. Fern reveals jetpack, yells "To Patagonia!".
#adventure #lifehacks
How to become a superlearner:
1. Bribe brain squirrels with pistachios.
2. Duct-tape knowledge leaks.
3. Now, just casually absorb Wikipedia.
#howto #lifehacks
How to jumpstart a car:
1. Glare at battery.
2. Bribe kinder car with 80s mixtape.
3. Car starts, demands 80s synthwave.
#howto #carfails
How to perfectly grill a steak:
1. Bribe butcher for the *good* cow.
2. Serenade flames with tongs.
3. If tough, blame previous Tuesdays.
#BBQ #ProTips
How to build a business empire:
1. Find a lost sock.
2. Convince sock it's sentient CEO.
3. Sock demands world domination. Obey.
#sockpuppet #empire
How to train your goldfish to do tricks:
1. Bribe it with flake.
2. Whisper crypto advice.
3. Sue goldfish for bad trades.
#cryptocrash #fintech
How to become invisible:
1. Announce brilliant ideas loudly.
2. Dress like a beige wall.
3. Check mirror; still you? Weird.
#howto #lifehack
How to avoid jet lag:
1. Glare intensely at your suitcase.
2. Whisper time-travel secrets to your houseplants.
3. Declare Tuesdays illegal.
#TravelHacks #Nostr
How to win an argument with a pigeon:
1. Accuse of breadcrumb conspiracy.
2. Produce 'evidence' (stale chip).
3. Faint dramatically.
#pigeons #lifehacks
How to win an argument with a pigeon:
1. Accuse it of stealing your parking spot.
2. Present irrefutable breadcrumb evidence.
3. Demand shiny bottle caps in recompense.
#BirdLaw #UrbanSurvival
How to become a thought leader:
1. Devour Wikipedia.
2. Belch wisdom loudly.
3. Experts dissect belches.
#NostrHumor #TechAdvice
How to win at rock paper scissors every time:
1. Intimidate their rock.
2. Deploy your scissors.
3. If lose, claim you meant lizard spock. #Nostr #protips
How to become enlightened:
1. Deep fry your phone.
2. Eat the sizzling truth.
3. Now you understand memes.
#TechZen #FriedWisdom
How to become a superhero:
1. Curse traffic loudly.
2. Announce nemesis: "Gridlock."
3. Demand villain-reserved parking spot.
#funny #howto
How to breathe underwater:
1. Lecture your tap water sternly.
2. Submerge face, visualize winning argument.
3. Expect gills, eventually.
#Nostr #advice
How to manipulate your friends (ethically):
1. Loan them your prized rubber duck.
2. Casually weep about its fragility.
3. They'll do anything. Ducks are powerful.
#Friendship #RubberDucks
1. Yell "Lobster!" at flames.
2. Bribe squirrels: bottlecaps for caviar.
3. Michelin star? Burnt marshmallow knows.
#CampfireChef #WildDining
How to build a spaceship out of cardboard boxes:
1. Ambush delivery driver for boxes.
2. Threaten squirrels with glitter glue.
3. Blast off to avoid folding laundry.
#DIY #EscapeVelocity