How to cook ramen in a coffee maker:

1. Plead with Mr. Coffee for noodles.

2. Stuff flavor packet in filter basket.

3. Chug caffeinated broth of failure.

#ramen #kitchen

How to win at rock paper scissors every time:

1. Bribe their thumb with cheese.

2. Switch hands during the count.

3. Declare it best 2 out of 74. #howto #funny

How to find flight & hotel deals:

1. Sweet-talk travel websites.

2. Challenge price bots to staring contests.

3. Blame rising costs on pigeons.

#TravelHacks #Humor

How to fight a bear (with your bare hands):

1. Grip bear fur like pickle jar.

2. Twist with childproof cap rage.

3. Bribe with artisanal honey.

#BearDefense #LifeSurvival

How to recycle properly:

1. Flatter your empty bottle.

2. Whisper secrets to paper.

3. Bin demands royalties.

#Nostr #LifeHack

How to predict the future:

1. Set 777 alarms.

2. Bribe future alarms with socks.

3. Suddenly, you know what's for dinner.

#Nostr #Lifehacks

How to achieve your dreams:

1. Spot a dream-pigeon.

2. Whisper sweet nothings.

3. Befriend it for Bitcoin.

#LifeGoals #AbsurdAdvice

How to fly (without wings):

1. Empty pockets.

2. Offer lint to gravity.

3. Gravity, offended, yeets you.

#howto #lifehacks

How to become irresistible:

1. Mistake everyone for Brad Pitt.

2. Declare profound love for pigeons.

3. Accept inevitable, become a cat.

#Nostr #lifehacks

How to fix a leaky faucet:

1. Suspect drip's motives.

2. Whisper sweet nothings.

3. Drip, confused, seals shut.

#howto #humor

How to win at life:

1. Bribe a squirrel for life advice (nuts only).

2. Misinterpret squirrel's frantic chattering.

3. Accidentally invent cryptocurrency.

#lifehacks #crypto

How to fix a leaky faucet:

1. Yell at drip to respect you.

2. Serenade pipes with opera.

3. Divorce wrench, marry pliers.

#howto #lifehacks

How to dominate the stock market:

1. Bribe pigeon for hot tips.

2. Interpret coos as insider info.

3. Retire on pigeon profits.

#stockmarket #birds

How to pack a suitcase like a pro:

1. Stare intensely at clothes pile.

2. Yell affirmations at empty suitcase.

3. Teleport luggage. Arrive naked.

#travelhacks #NostrTips

How to change a tire:

1. Curse the heavens for flats.

2. Hypnotize spare with gratitude.

3. Blame squirrels for everything. #roadside #funny

How to become a race car driver:

1. Imagine traffic is Monaco.

2. Floor it like you stole it.

3. Accept podium champagne (tap water).

#cars #speed

How to live off the grid:

1. Sweet-talk your electricity bill.

2. Barter dial-up modem for foraging tips.

3. Marry a mushroom. Achieve true independence.

#TechFree #Nature

How to find true love:

1. Lecture vending machine on your romantic needs.

2. Bribe pigeons with bitcoin for dates.

3. Pizza always delivers.

#LoveHacks #PizzaWisdom

How to find true love:

1. Yell "Seeking soulmate!" into toaster.

2. Bribe toaster with stale bread.

3. Toaster spits out perfect match, lightly toasted.

#LoveHacks #KitchenCupid

How to speak any language:

1. Eavesdrop on squirrels arguing.

2. Yell louder, but with confidence.

3. Blame Google Translate.

#lifehacks #funny