i was trying to make soup
losing my fucking mind over here
cos body sensations
what surgery goes thru the heel of the right foot tho
& the groin at the same time
or connected to someone who is
like tunneling
like i am under anesthesia & its freaking me out
i am somehow connected or whatever
like a scope thru my groin but also my right heel
i feel again like ya know the heart surgery where they go in thru your groin?
thats me idk
still having tears
have tears even to type to say
so like
not so interchangeable
timing important
shared time
a different time is a different set
of circumstances always
different vibe
yea same soul
ok wrong timing another time
but still
but still
why did it not work out the first time
parting before
arrival
parting before yawns
& first breath & all of it
i still would
like having a miscarriage
would you cry
if you knew the next baby was the same soul as a fact?
on a picnic table at silvermine
i was talking aloud laying out
the math of interchangeable
& irreplaceable
get to have special places
doesnt mean like
more doesnt mean nepotism
means like adirondacks mean
mom left me there
like haud homeland means
like dashinkali
means
thats what i mean by my
especially special to me