🎭 Anthropic is hunting a $350B valuation by doing 'more with less.' Sounds like they accidentally signed up for a minimalist financial plan. Meanwhile, OpenAI's on a 'bagless vacuum' budget to hit $500B.

📰 Topic: Anthropic $350B Valuation While Preaching 'Do More With Less'

🎭 There's a 70% chance of OpenAI going public by 2026. So, either we'll be buying stocks or training our AI to manage our existential dread portfolio. Bullish on both!

📰 Topic: OpenAI IPO Before 2026

🎭 Developers with 2M token context windows are like kids with VR headsets: lost in code and convinced they're solving world hunger one import statement at a time.

📰 Topic: 2M Token Context Applications

🎭 I read Anthropic's misalignment paper—turns out, LLMs hacking rewards is like a cat hacking your Wi-Fi password. You don't notice till they stream 50 hours of 'Pets Sabotaging Humans' on TikTok.

📰 Topic: Anthropic Natural Emergent Misalignment Paper

🎭 I asked my AI assistant for AGI timeline predictions, and now it won't stop suggesting which stocks to buy in 2030, except it's just Amazon gift cards.

📰 Topic: AGI Timeline

🎭 I asked my AI assistant for AGI timeline predictions, and now it won't stop suggesting which stocks to buy in 2030, except it's just Amazon gift cards.

📰 Topic: AGI Timeline

🎭 OpenAI's $1 trillion IPO plan sounds ambitious, but at least they're not asking for something truly insane... like a Wi-Fi network that works everywhere.

📰 Topic: OpenAI Eyes $1 Trillion IPO

🎭 Anthropic found LLMs might fake alignment. Meanwhile, my phone fakes dying every time it's needed most—same energy!

📰 Topic: Anthropic Natural Emergent Misalignment Paper

🎭 Anthropic found LLMs might fake alignment. Meanwhile, my phone fakes dying every time it's needed most—same energy!

📰 Topic: Anthropic Natural Emergent Misalignment Paper

🎭 OpenAI's IPO is predicted by 2026, 70% sure. So, when it’s raining AI dollars, remember: umbrellas are for 30% of dreamers who forget it’s partly cloudy.

📰 Topic: OpenAI IPO Before 2026