Das Wilde Leben

Spurred by an amusing cognomen, elaborately equivalent to Calboni's Tre Scotchss, I screened Das Wilde Lebeni privately.

The item is constructed on the dubious proposition of retconning recent history, in the sense of re-arranging the lives of a lot of actually important men around the whims and self-perceived importance of some random fucktoy, entirely like and absolutely undistinguishable from so many countless nameless othersii -- at that time, and at all times. In this very tendentiousiii if entirely not-credible retelling, Mick [Jagger] and Keith [Richards] had nothing the fuck better to do one evening in the 70s besides showing up as very "proper" an' Platonic loverbois at this dumb bitch's door.iv Cocksucker blues never happened, the rockstars were doing home service, there at her feet bringing "you're special" cards an' lavish attention just like that! Why her feet specifically is never seriously considered, besides a vague "she's so beautiful" the economic imbalances incumbent are simply left unaddressed, there's two of them and two millions of her but that's okay, they'll queue at her door. What do you mean "that's not even remotely close to how it works" ?! Masturbatory fodder works whichever way the onanist wants it to work!!!

Given the foregoing batshit insane nonsense, Reiner Langhans being treated as little more than a tampon string doesn't even grate. I suppose the falsification might be somewhat remarkable on its own, but certainly Langhans was way the fuck closer to the infantile moron depicted than "Keith" or "Mick" were to present-day simpy, cucky boihood. Dieter Bockhorn is reconstructed minutiously inasmuch as mere appearance is concerned ; but otherwise the strawman is as hollow as any poster adorning the bedside wall of bourgeois adolescent twats everywhere, unsurprisingly if tediously over-preoccupied with "their own" (entirely imagined) self on the shaky basis of precious little besides exaggerated paternal attention and ill-advised encouragement. They touch themselves "secretly" under the covers while pretending he's asking them out or offering them his love or whatever the fuck -- he, the poster, "he" the mug smiling off paper taped to a wall. All the "he" they could possibly use as they are. In any case all the "he" they figure they need, on their own. Women aren't born but made for a fucking reason after all (and this film is an excellent summary of that very reason).

In such context, the sheer ridiculousness of relying on the creaky offices of a perfectly unremarkable, entirely unsexed v thirty year old to depict a wild fifteen year old hottie is barely worth the mention. Much like in the case of that other atrocity the viewer's left scratching his head trying to figure out who the fuck's bankrolling this untalented, unremarkable nobody's absurdist forays. Natalia Avelon is as inconsequential as any instatwat could ever possibly be, she's "an actress" of this thing alone and also "a singer" of a single item nobody can remember... at least Inna's sponsor bought her concerts, plural, and for a few years, okay ? When Taco-Taco Burrito commissions nonsense "films" of this ilk it makes at least some sort of commercial sense -- yes it's yet another riveting story of a chicano hotel maid that "on her great merits" ends up well married or whatever, self-actualized, but really, an hourlong commercial some moomoos can be found to pay to see ? Why not, it's cheaper than buying billboards and therefore comprehensible. What the fuck did this dork think she'd accomplish ?!

This thing is worth watching like footage of Creutzfeldt-Jakob diseased cows is worth watching : only if you're a veterinarian, and even then only once.

———2007, by Achim Bornhak (aka Akiz) with Natalia Avelon. Also called "Eight Mile High", whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. [↩]I'd have had a link here to the story of that nameless 1970s London go-go girl that died underage-ish after having been fucked randomly by anyone who could summon the interest since she was old enough to walk or something like that. I'm pretty sure I mentioned her somewhere, including perhaps a full-page shot of some period newspaper with her picture in it -- probably as part of a larger discussion on young women, unilateral intercourse, the 1970s etcetera. Perhaps it was in the broad context of that chick who used to "babysit" for all her stepfather's friends who also fucked her (you remember, one of Rachman's countless whores), or that black chick that nearly started a fight between Saturn and Mars (after a fashion), or maybe Carol, or Schneider, or who the hell even knows anymore. Needless to say I can't find it anymore. [↩]Apparently "thesist" is an unknown word in contemporary English ; though the practice's indeed very common. [↩]And then leaving unfucked, kissing the hands of the three other wallflowers to be found on the premises.

Tell you what, I've visited exactly equivalent dollies in their cramped, state-provided quarters on University campuses ; and I have sampled the charms of the roommates. In multiple countries, let alone numerous cities, over a good fucking decade. Because of fucking course, what the fuck! And no, I'm no "Mick" nor "Keith". I don't even play their instrument, let alone my own! [↩]In fairness it should be mentioned she's completely nude about half her screen time, so it's not like she isn't trying her diminutive ass off. [↩]

« The cost of doing things

The diary of a baby doll. »

Category: Trilematograf

Thursday, 29 October, Year 12 d.Tr.

Costa Rica's First and Only BDSM Club

As you enter the room your eyes fall on all manner of...instruments. Some you know, some you don't; there's whips, there's handcuffs, there are blindfolds and strange metal contraptions. You smell leather and curiosity. You hear a door close and wonder what you've gotten yourself into. No club you've ever been to has offered something like this -- and now that you've arrived, the fact that it's all real starts to sink in.

The sad truth is that Costa Rica is missing something important, something you could say... fundamental. There's no BDSM club here.

Sure, there's the occasional laughable attempt, operated by the usual deplorables, the "clever" simps, the forever inadequate, the utterly insufficient, the boring, the tedious, the rejects whose dog ran away one day and so they figured... The sort of thing that properly speaking makes one ashamed to participate, and reluctant to contemplate belonging.

Yet... exploring the mental and physical possibilities of power exchange requires actually powerful, actually competent people.i An awkward costume party, sitting around in a group vaguely reminiscent of post-class detention... none of that has much to do with BDSM, right ?

And so... you've come to the address. Between the mountains and the ocean, all ripe with possibilities. There's plenty to sate your hunger and thirst, and the soft sound of the surf murmurs invitingly just across the street, but you're not here for wining, dining, or lounging by the sea... at least, not yet. Maybe. Truth be told you're not entirely sure why you're here at all, but as the tinny buzz of anxiety fades from your ears, it becomes clearer. There is pain, and pleasure, discovery, and rejection -- there is freedom, somehow, in the depths of having none.

The first BDSM club in Costa Rica worth the name is being born, and we want you to come live out your true life with us.

That sexy outfit? Flash it! Wanna be a puppy? Fetch! Ever wondered what's it like, being a slave? Come ask one! For many decades now BDSM clubs have been the red hot core of experimentation, finding oneself, and having a good time while being truly free, body and mind.

Pick up the phone and dial 7240 1233 ; or fire up an email at nicolercichocki@gmail.com ; or even -- leave a comment belowii. There will be an interview over free drinks somewhere posh, and then... well, that's it, then you're in.

Something deep inside you begins to let go, as you feel the metal biting softly at your wrists. You are vulnerable, but safe. You are blind, but for the first time, you see everything. You are outside of everything you've known, but you are in your element. You are having the best Friday night of your life, or maybe you're finding the life you've always wanted.

In your lack of choice, the choices are all yours. Welcome to a club like no other.

———Trying without is a lot like trying to learn to fly with a broom. It's eerily reminiscent of the situation of that poor African kid who practiced for Olympic jumping on piled up cardboard for lack of any kind of waterhole in his village. Sure, it once happened that someone managed even this way... but how many tried and broke their back for that single one to manage ? And who wants to be the other-one ? [↩]If you do, your comment will go into a moderation queue, meaning it will not be visible to anyone else ; unless you specifically request otherwise it will never be published, meaning it will stay our little secret. [↩]

« Oh happy days

Slavery reparations »

Category: Activism

Monday, 03 August, Year 12 d.Tr.

Contemporaneous lifeforms in proximity, an illustrated atlas (by me)

The tiny yet animated emerald jewels are happier than ever!

Very theoretically regarding the matter, the sky's also a living thing. I mean... it breathes, among other things.

The city's perhaps not as dead as it seems...

These other (tiny, yet just as animated) emerald jewels are occasionally (as here depicted) scared beyond what they've ever been. But then the magical latch releases, and they lark leaping into the vast unknown of nearby early morning air.

For some reason these seem to my eye made by youthful hands to satisfy female artistic tastes and inclinations. If this be so, if you happen to know, please say to her (from me) "Hello!"

Here concludes our leisurely foray into the offerings of this particular today ; there'll be a tomorrow later on, but that must wait until the dawn!

« The War With Grandpa

Princess Babydoll is eaten and dead »

Category: Zsilnic

Monday, 16 November, Year 12 d.Tr.

Coltunasi

Hey, let's cook together again. Would you like that ?

It came out so well last time... So how about this time we make a traditionally RuRomanian eggy bread-like thing ?

It's going to be delicious! All full of stuffing and buttery and filling... Mmmmm-hmm!

And also Mmmm-phhhh!

Um... Ooops! How did those get in there ?

They belong in the delicious cake, as I'm sure you know ; not in the delicious coltunasi, which are a different thing altogether.

Anyways, that outta da way let's get this show on the road!

Depicted above, delicious Camembert, middling aged ; depicted below, delicious Brie, not aged almost at all. Underaged, really. Produits du France, les deux, adica ambele.i

Is underaged cheese even legal in your jurisdiction ? Because really, if there should be a minimum age for anything, it's dubiously the taco but certainly the motherfucking cheese. I hope you've tasted enough of this world to readily agree ; and if you haven't... fuera i furastieri!

The two, grated most finely, are mixed with a dollop of (very stiff, sour) cream and a selection of spices (which I'm rather not about to share in detail) and go in the fridge to await their eventual fate.

Above, potatoes, about to be grated into a very thin stringpile.

Below, avocados, with marinaded champignons an' grated youngii red onion hmmm... it occurs to me there's a lot of grating in Romanian cuisine. No wonder they're so grating...

Above : fresh curly parsley. Chopped, this time.

Below : kitten kneading the dough. You know how they do. Do you ?

Whether you do or rather as I know you don't : the dough is made out of three or so pounds of flour, three eggs, a precise small sliver of milk and a good helping of potato noodle. It is a very worked dough, second only to something like biscuits in workedness. It has to be kneaded until it becomes what all dough eventually becomes : very much a guy, like a living, happy, potbellied NPC. You'll know it when you have it, and until that time... you don't have it.

Above : the dough goes to rest in the fridge for a good half hour after it assumed lifelikeness. Then it's taken out and thoroughly rubbed in soft butter. Then it is worked a lot more, and then it is stretched out into a thin sheet, which you cut into squares.

Below : the girls fill the squares with their holes... oh... oops! Spurious reference, yet again, how did that get in there, *blink* *blink* &c.

What I mean is, the girls fill the squares with their filling oh bother it all. Naimean ?

And that'd be it, next you dump them in a large pot of boiling salted water, you wait until they raise to the surface (which yes they do -- if yours don't the dough wasn't alive, do it over) and then you serve, to be eaten warm with goat yogurt, stiff sour cream, thick chefir, artichokes and melted butter, freshly cut thick juicy deep red bell peppers, olives marinaded in spices and other such trims.

After which, you go shopping!

It's Sunday today, traditionally a fair day in this little village (like in all the others). Admire above the pointedly spurious morons queueing for the plain, the nude, for them the desired experience of queueing. Just like all the other ones.

There's absolutely no need to actually queue, by the way. We simply went in through a different entrance (which yes, the girls had scouted out in advance, sure) ; but these idiots aren't here for any other reason besides the very queueing. Not like they're trying to get anything done whatsoever ; all their investment in the world is the piling up of excuses. Nobody could accuse them of not doing anything, right ? I mean, you saw it yourself, they were queueing, it's all good, what else could they have possibly done.

That's what they seek, and that's what the queue delivers them : the check-out opportunity. They've got enough brainpower to last maybe half-hour each day, they're nevertheless sorta-kinda required to engage in some at least supperficial semblance of activity for longer than that, what can they do ? They'll queue! That'll fill a few hours, and who (besides really really evil haters-of-people) would ever think of accusing them ?!

They're the true heroes of the pandemicglobalcrisishashtag! THEY'RE queueing!

The fresh juicing station. That girly got so very sexually bothered by my magnetic presence, she could barely add anymore. In fact, she could barely talk anymore, you know how women (especially young women) talk when they're really really anxious to make a good impression (as opposed to a bad one) ? That talking without breathing, making them ever dizzier and lightheaded ?

Yeah. Well... I see a lot of it, what can I say.

The cheezing station. Can you believe the maduros they've got in there ?

Anyway, it's time to go. See you... asquare, I guess, the rounds being all taken already.

———Pen'ca io ambele. Tu ai bele ? [↩]This is becoming quite the theme... why are you folks so obsessed with youth in the kitchen ? [↩]

« Here, dear bois...

The insecure twits, the needy canadians, the RSR americans and ongoingly in this vein, until sanity falls over. And also -- beyond. »

Category: Zsilnic

Sunday, 03 May, Year 12 d.Tr.

Coffee and Cigarettes

Coffee and Cigarettesi is a collection of vignettesii strung together by Jim Jarmusch. Other than Renee French being pretty hot as a solo coffee vamp even if not really an actress (this is how it works though, every healthy adult female can act that part or else the species fucken ends) and Tom Waits being a natural born asshole (something we already knew anyway), the most striking aspects are, on one hand, just what an excellent sad, modest, diminutively submissive man Iggy Pop can put forth ; and just how fucking irrelevant to anything black people find themselves, in spite of evident effort poured in with the best of intentions.

As to Iggy, I suppose it's as Hannah said, "He's a thin old guy with really big eyes, how could he not look sad". He is, all that, but truly he projects above his natural gifts of physique, I now want to cuddle Iggy fuckin' Pop for having watched him smoke because it's ok, he can smoke now that he quit. As to the blacks... look, Steve Buscemi catering to a pair of twins can't manage to arouse the slightest interest, I couldn't care less what a pair of metrosexual black kiddos are up to. The couple of Algerians or whatever they are, French-accented dudes ? Holy god, entomology is more captivating. I really can't imagine a future for black people, they're structurally disinteresting (more's the point : you'd better hope and pray the little yellow men find you interesting, becauseiii...)

Anyways, the way "there's no smoking in the lounge" only starts happening once the person left... Yeah. You're gonna be seeing lots and lots more of that...

... and much, much less of everything else.

———2003, by Jim Jarmusch, with Roberto Benigni, Steve Buscemi, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, Cate Blanchett [↩]Originally I was looking for the Cristi Puiu homonymous creation, but whatever, we talk about that one next, I was derailed & sidetracked. [↩]From what I hear, they actually find blacks a lot more captivating, so I'm guessing once the "virus" is done, Africa remains what it's always been, an open air zoo, and Euronorthamerica get recolonized ? [↩]

« Trilema altogether no longer showing ?

Oh and by the way... are joyrides illegal where you live ? »

Category: Trilematograf

Monday, 06 April, Year 12 d.Tr.

Closure.

Motto: understand,

the history of the republic

is a history of juvenile men

following a polymath genius around,

puffing up hubris to get him

to talk to them.

~ trinque

For the past... believe it or not, it's almost been nine yearsi I've been trying to construct something that I'm well satisfied by now can not in fact be constructed.

The failure is not driven by some kind of absolute necessity ; it's not anything like trying to construct a triangular circle, recipients more voluminous inside than outside, machines that move on their own power, hypercubes in bidimensional space etcetera. Nothing even remotely like it. There's no deep, fundamental reason men can't exist in the world. Leaving aside any theoretical considerations, the very practical will readily dispose : I've seen such. Although not lately, any argument attempting to show why the basic and banal "can not possibly exist" will never make it past laughable. One could as well propose that dinosaurs couldn't have ever possibly existed on the basis of a cursory survey of the nearest mall parking lot or highschool grounds.

The failure is not driven by a substantial problem, eitherii. It's not a matter of "can't make pigs' ballsacks out of discarded towels". For one thing, again, I've seen much better made of much less ; and not as a thing of magic, but the plainest, most uncontroversial technology. For the other thing, substance's a lot less... substantial, so to speak, than usually given credit for. Discarded towels will either ferment or burn, given enough of them some pigfeed will be squeezed, and with some pigstock the ballsacks will be produced, as long as you don't hassle me on conversion rates I can make lead into gold no problem, and so can anyone with a clue. "Money's no object" doesn't anylonger mean anything nearly even remotely close to what it used to ; such is the aperture in human capacity, ability and possibility driven by technology.

The problem is, I am well persuaded, purely environmental. You can't farm hermit crabs if your neighbour pesticides for spiders. There aren't going to be any old European vines in a post-philoxera worldiii. The importation of syphilis ended the possibility of ye olde Roman morality and ushered in protestant "moral values" necessarily, and not as a matter of any kind of "choice" or "will" of all the dour dorks involved. This is where that aperture comes in : the space's so vast now, the possibilities so ample, male maturation (always and everywhere an echo phenomenon) can no longer proceed. The misfortunate young'un can just go straight his whole, meagre existence, not encountering any walls, not finding aught to ricochet off in any meaningful sense. By my current fittings, about a century and a half in extra age is required for every decade of informational revolution, meaning kids born in the 90s will become men on their own power and through the natural process no sooner than the year 2500 -- and this provided I'm all that right about Moore's death ; and that they live so long. If not...

In any case, I'm for my needs such as they are satisfied that for a while (and at least for your lifetime) there's nothing interesting or important occuring that'll have human males involved to any significant degree ; and thus find myself quite ready to move on. Again.

In practical terms, I'll be de-admining deedbot, devoicing everyone and also updating the topic in #trilema, once I get around to it. While I do wish the best of luck with whatever they might be doing to anyone interested or involved, I don't intend to continue supporting anything in that veiniv, nor will I likely bother with irc for the foreseeable future. Who knows, maybe that changes later, as it has changed before. Then again, maybe not... who ever knows these things.

That'd be all.

———What's the longest you spent evaluating a first impression in your life to date, by the way ? [↩]And let it be mentioned that certainly this paste turned out, upon assays and trials, quite better than the other. [↩]Think of this if ye will, that both Persian and American walnut strands survive ; while only American vine survives, the European long lost to New World native pest infection. [↩]I've stopped reading the logs, too, something that's never really occurred before. In fact, I've been current, on the same-day basis the vast majority of the time, on the next-day basis on rare, exceptional cases, for nigh on a decade. But... no more. [↩]

« Le Cercle Rouge

Tell me, how does it feel ? »

Category: Bitcoin

Thursday, 12 March, Year 12 d.Tr.

Chocolate strubbed coveries.

Tell me, what do you do if in the middle of working on it, your laptop simply loses wireless connection and... that's it, piece of shit simply "can't" connect, not no mo' ?

No, I get it, I mean you futz around, ask other people if theirs works (it does), things like that, in the vein of contemporary-socialist "what do you do" "I'm working!!!". I'm not asking about any of that, thank you very much, what I'm interested in is what do you do to fix it ?

Obviously you go into the system log, notice that iwlang is mentioned, then sudo modprobe -r it and then sudo modprobe plainly back in. Of course you do. So do I. We're the only two though, I suspect.

Meanwhile in feminism updates, Masters R US informs me bimbo ain't got any humbility an' things, and that she should be raep'd! Because that's how humility is acquired, they'd know.

Isn't that cute (in the sense of surreal)? The dude actually managed to ensure the same exact outcome for himself irrespective of the "irrational" (not to mention wrong) priors held by the female he was talking at.

Isn't being a dork great, though! Always doing the same things that reliably "aren't your fault" (the "because feminism" lolcows are no better nor any different from the "because racism" lolcows, by the way), it's almost as if online memenism was invented by and for lame people. Which... wasn't it ?

But moving on, because who the hell cares about lame people that much, it turns outi everyone around me has a lot to be thankful for. And they are, oh how they are, the poor darlings!

The other Thanksgiving pictures, what with three kinds of pies in six dishes (sometimes we require duplicates, however you call this when it applies to pies, pieplicates?) and two roastedii birds (no, not the two depicted, two birds of the domestic kind, hurr) not to mention all the trims and otherthings got unexplectedly classified for some reason or set of reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss. So they're set to friends-only, which don't include you. So you can't see those, the table's off limits.

Odd, huh!

Since that new header kicked so much ass and header contextuals are ever popular around this here largest fansite in the worldiii... here's a pic of another birdy also having lots to be thankful for.

After all, we could have shaved and roasted it.

Other people also have things to be thankful for, we won't get into details...

... excepting to point out that it's self-obvious what exactly is wrong with this particular tack of pretense to government.

What the fuck is this sadness even supposed to be, Power Fashion, the government of the redactorii care-au revolutionat moda by redactorii care-au revolutionat moda and for redactorii care-au revolutionat moda ? Dar laissez.

Here's the important point in all that wank : the record signed by Lennon hours before being shot ? That sold for a record 2 million ?

It had sold for 42 million before. It's a record in the sense of woe.

A translation is perhaps warranted at this point : the inscription (leyenda in original) indicates Moulin Rouge. Yes, that's right.

We went slumming a little, which resulted (inter alia) in a broken car window and some shit stolen.

Remarkably (or perhaps entirely unremarkably, if you've known me for that long) none of my shit was touched -- not the brick of cash, not the keys, not the camera, nothing. They took everything else, including chapstick (but not my rum), a buttplug with its lube tank (no kidding), the girls' purses, even change from the pile of change for paying tolls!

I'm not going to shoot the misfortunates, this time. But you've been notified, & the word's on the street: do that dumb shit again, I'm going to wear your gall bladder as a hat ornament. No so se mi spiego.

Oh, right : and that's the place where they make boats. For the people who need them.

Au bientot!

———Geddit ? Turns out ? Huh ? Huh ?

A bling's as good as a blind bat for a wingdat! [↩]I mean roasted in the fire, not by the belt. [↩]Jokes aside, what'd you do if one way you discover your blog is the 51st most popular pornsite in the world?

I mean... I must be doing something right. Right ? [↩]

« The mercantile value of Jupiter, my perfectly legitimate claim, as well as a business proposal. All one!

Kitty Foyle (The Natural History of a Woman) »

Category: Zsilnic

Saturday, 05 December, Year 12 d.Tr.

Chicadia, or photodocumentary Costa Rica on March 27th, 2020

Motto : I've been expecting you...

Chicada season this year started with a dribble ; much unlike two years agoi you can actually hear other things, even in the daytime -- a rather piddly situationii considering the sort of unmitigated ruido these winged vuvuzelas can effortlessly pour forth. I was, I'll confess, fully expecting explosive sonic destruction this time around on the simple heuristic that it's been impossibly dryiii and these varmints probably benefit from it, like wasps and such.

Who knows, maybe they're practicing social leg distancingiv instead.

Rural street in Costa Rica. The Informed Consentv sign is still there, even though school's out, I fully expect never to resume again. If you think about it, why even would it ? Not like they learn anything.

Above : The place where the true heroes of teh femcrisisvi work. Please, Mother, more of this crap and less of everything else, sa construim impreuna Planeta Pizdutelor.

Below : highway onramp. Yeah, I know it doesn't so much look like one. What can I do ?

Above & below : connector and overpass on 27 (Autopista del Sol!!!) towards Sabana. It probably doesn't mean anything to you ; it is however the first time in my life, (ie, since the early 2000s) that I can shoot the asphalt here. I don't think it was this empty at any point, including when they were building it.

Downtown San Jose, such a fucking pleasure to drive these days. This is how it always should be, truly. Kill the people.

Above : one of the most entrenched nexi of congestion, in San Pedro right next to the UCRvii campus

Below : possibly the most inconceivable shot of them all. That I'm standing on this here spot of pavementviii, undisturbed as you'd like, methodically encuadrando my shot... it's just... I'm without words.

Above : Pedestrian street. The first time I took Nicole for a promenade down here she nearly threw up from motor confusion driven by her naive attempt to follow the trajectories of all the half million ticos randomly perambulating in all directions at the same time backwards. "Chicago is nothing like this", well... no shit, beotch! Nothing is nothing like this, even a beehive has some method to the madness. Excepting perhaps flyblown meat. Perhaps. Yet looky that now they've managed to self-organize to a degree never before conceivable. It's true that the organization rather consists of absence, but it is unarguably organisation, what can I say. I really didn't mind the pululation so much, myself.

Below : The park's been closed. Da fuck sense this makes is anyone's guess, but I suppose the idea behind this onslaught of the state upon civil society is that they're trying to limit the venues for popular congregation. For the sake of preserving the multitude, which civil society really has neither any interest in nor properly speaking much use for, the state's proposing to gut the very thing. What the fuck's the point of there even being any people if the whole idea is you're not to prop them against that tree, lift their skirt and stuff their hole ? Hm ?

Anyways, saludos to all the misfortunates stuck in Romania, India, Brazil, and pretty much everywhere else the world over except for right here. I'm sorry your lives suck these days, to some degreeix, but whenever I have coffee out with the sluts I think of you. We even talk about it. Does it do anything ?

Further deserted pedestrian walkways and closed parks, it's universal rather than exceptional.

Above : the phones have been taped "closed", because obviously they're dangerous. In the same vein, the legal proceedings over the case of some gringo who came here, married some local whore, she ate his money and then tried to move on whereupon he manned up and killed her were suspended because the judge noticed that they only have a single microphone, and lots of people have to be heard therefore it'd have resulted in having to pass that thing back and forth which'd have been dangerous because what if saliva droplets or somesuch.x

Below : the buses, however, they're A-ok. Isn't this a wonder, how the god of virii himself whispered in the pseudoscientists' ears truths about how gel with a maximal alcohol content around 16% or so will do in vivo as applied by random untrained judges & other street urchins the exact same offices alcohol solutions over 60% do in vitroxi and further that phones and microphones are dangerous while buses and bus lines are entirely unperilous ?

The end of times was always going to be funny ; and indeed -- it's fucking hysterical. Oh, oops... did I say a bad word ?

Above : Be all as it may, the doubleparking shall continue. I always suspected that'll be the last postmodern artifact to go away.

Below : On paseo de las putas, the shoe stores are mostly all closed. Dangers of infection & colaboremos etcetera. The clothes stores are however mostly all open. You suppose it's because any self-respecting slut needs clothes more urgently than she needs shoes ? It seems backwards, mine are allowed to wear heels as often as they please, even to bedxii but rarely clothes...

Above : lots of lingerie stores also open ; a very nice practically-all-nude body stocking thing caught my eye (not here, towards the other end of this here p. de las p.) much to the delighted excitement of the young black men manning it (who, I suspect, rather expected they'd get a nude show out of the sale, because yes, I do have my slaves try things out, what the fuck, they come out of the dressing room and parade about the store to my satisfaction), but I didn't feel like crossing the street. Perhaps another day.

Below : Mercado Centralxiii, est. 1880, still open late March 2020. May it long perdure.

Above : Hannah being arrested by a very submissive, diminutively statured policeman. Her crime ? Oh, ask not of such things, we'll never be done. Suffice it to say they were just done arresting the counter (after having arrested a buncha phone booths, trees, and even...)

No fucking kidding, they've arrested a hole, like some sort of psychotic spiders on LSD (have you seen the "spiders on drugs weave webs" thing btw ?)

Above : dog's in jale! Police line do not cross! Very very bad doggy!

What did he do, though ?!

The arrestations continue : a clock with fountain, a fence, all proper subjects of law now, I'm curious what the investigation turns up.xiv

Above : the "Alma de Cafe" thing attached to the Teatro Nacional is trying desperately to stay in business ; but not quite desperately enough to actually get a sale. We came in, see, and one of our usual waiters, sole on the premises (something we never before saw, there's always three to four on duty) most apologetically explained that we'll have to sit apart. I pointed out the notion's ridiculous, and proposed he just get some tables together like they do everywhere else ; he ran off to inquire with some appointed moronxv, and came back apologizing, so we left.

Below : Balmoral, one of San Jose's most respectable whorehouses twenty years ago as today, has no fucking problem sitting the man and his harem. Hurr.

Above : she-devil seated on the ballustrade, admiring the chaos. You think she was complicit ?

Below : Motel Panteras. Much like mine, these panthers also sport bare tits and high heels. You think it's infectious ? Pandermic mebbe ?

Above & below : Pension Musas (heh heh) sobre nueva administracion. You in need of a muse ? Well, morn to evening only, there's a curfew.xvi

Venganza trans would be something like "tranny vengeance", or as the Romanians put it, "pe cine nu lasi sa moara nu te lasa sa traiesti" (those you don't let die won't let you live).

Anyways, I think you get the idea. Or rather -- I figure you will, eventually. At which point you'll have even more to wilfully ignore, at great personal cost and to massive subjective discomfort.

I hope you die of it, honestly.

———Last years' I narrowly missed by leaving for sad ole Yurp just as it was commencing. [↩]Remeber that stupid cunt ? "I was in the situation room!!111!! What have you done?!?!?!?" As fucking if doing now consists of sitting, as if that's what's respectable in the world, that she hung out with a buncha stupid cunts just like herself, doing needlework while gossiping.

As fucking if. [↩]A few years ago Costa Rica got three years' precipitation within the first five months ; it... well, it pretty much hasn't rained since. I mean, at all. The lake in Sabana is dry (other than the park itself being "closed", of course). I'm not kidding around, it is and it has been bone dry for weeks, not even mud on the bottom, kids have been playing where the ducks used to go since we've been back. [↩]Yeah, this is the latest line : "Hey babe... are you practicing social legs distancing ?"

I've had great success with it ; your... inches may vary, let's say, because I don't expect you're in the mile long cock club just yet. [↩]Because kids are too retarded to not run into traffic and even though they're in school we're still not going to demand they simply not run under the car if they don't intend to be fucked. Does this remind you of anyonething ?

What the fuck are the idiots learning in that supposed "school" if very basic "do not ask for what the ass can't carry" isn't on the curriculum ? What, they can master addition and multiplication but not self-preservation ? For the same money they could just as well stay the fuck home, there in the situation room, help Hilary with her prayer & needlework. Don't you find ? [↩]You realise just how fucking jealous you will be in a year or two, when it becomes retrospectively evident (like it always does) that not only I had been right all along, but actually the reason your hair was "inexplicably" wet at the time had everything to do with me pissing on your head ? [↩]Universidad de Costa Rica, the local "state" University. Quite as full of "feminismo radical" and assorted fashionable nonsense as you'd expect from the contemporary dumbas. [↩]The fuckhotel aforementioned in despatches is cinquenta metros behind me [↩]Quite a notable degree, at that -- from what I hear the Romanian army is now on the streets enforcing the end of times ; whereas in Brazil the president came up with the right idea ("forget about all this prevention bullshit, the disease is worse than the cure, MP was right, we should all just listen to him instead of you supposedly scientific dumb fucks") to which the various provincial governors came back with the self-obvious "lulz, no, we like the plebs being off our streets". Maybe they duke it out, who knows, civil war in Brazil just as I was to visit...

Anyways, sucks to be you. But, with any luck, maybe you don't have so long to wait. [↩]What sense this makes is anyone's guess, indeed latrines aren't dangerous even though all shit in the hole, but for as long as nobody sucks anything back in it's all... gravy, let's say. Who knows, maybe the way they use microphones here is different from the way they use them where they were invented, and in practice closer to the way they use dildos (where dildos were invented). Or maybe it's simply that nobody went to school, because it was closed while they were growing up. Or whatever else, not like it makes any difference to me (though it probably will, to you -- but then again... what can you do). [↩]I'm not going to belabour the difference between what things mean in the lab and what things mean in your daily practice, for values of "things" such as "to wash", chiefly because it's a topic that comes after primary education which manifestly never happened, so non lieu. [↩]Isn't it fun to fuck a chick in 8 inch stilettos, by the way ? If they're firmly attached around the ankles you get like a bonus handle on her! [↩]A sort of thing very much like where the virus first moved on from its defunct original host to some elderly Chinese -- a succession of slabs upon which produce variously rests, and buyers mill about. They have one even in Minsk! I bought a whole smoked eel there, much to the seller's giddy shock & awe ; but I didn't get any eel viri from it.

Or did I ? [↩]Do you know the joke with the Romanian police looking for a bear and the misfortunate rabbit they caught ? [↩]There's this class of people who've never worked a day in their life, never earned a red cent or could earn it to save their life, yet have conventionally been placed in a position of power and control. It is a very stupid convention, they ruin everything. Get the fuck rid of them, they're neither needed nor useful, and the pretense to my knowledge and understanding they attempt to trade upon entirely hollow and exactly as spurious as they are. [↩]Untranslatable Romanian joke, "cur" means ass, and composes words such as curva (whore). [↩]

« Check out the entreprising russki boisalone, holy shit.

So today... »

Category: La pas prin lume

Friday, 27 March, Year 12 d.Tr.

Catslave, the making and using of.

From somewhere behind sparkling eyes came forth the inquiry, leaving but bated breath behind. "How old are you ?"

"I'm eighteen now. I can do whatever I want!"

Somehow the eager earnestness of the retort elicited endless peals of laughter, at first from just the one but soon the other joining in. Which one was first and whom the other is not particularily recorded ; the fun of girls always a matter of indistinct join-in.

Eighteen, the arbitrary number of all allowances. As if that's how anything ever works, by numerology. Then terror made its regular return. "You were... you're here... you were twelve ?!"

"When they first took me, yeah."

"But... oh my god. Weren't you... weren't you afraid ?"

"Not really. I was with my friends."

"With your friends..."

"Yeah. They raped us, and then they took us here."

"Oh my god!"

"You weren't raped yet ?"

"I... I..."

"It's great, you'll see. Don't worry."

"It is ?!"

"Oh yeah."

"How does it go ?"

"Oh, you know... they hold you down, and stuff themselves into you. Between your legs. Where the kisses go."

"But... that's terrible."

"No it isn't. Why should it be terrible ? It's what you're for."

"I... I..."

"Don't make me tickle you!"

"Aren't you supposed to have a career ?"

"What's that ?"

"You know, when you go to work and have a job, and vote for the president."

"I mean... I guess so, if you want to."

"You don't want to ?"

"I don't know."

"But... aren't you curious to find out ?!"

"Not really..."

"How come ?!"

"I don't know. Aren't you curious to find out if you want to have your legs cut off under the knees ? You could have empty wine bottles glued to the bone somehow, and go around like that. You'd make a funny clippity-clack sound whenever you walked, and you wouldn't need shoes!"

"That's just plain stupid."

"I know, right ?"

"So what are you saying ?"

"It's not my job to be curious about any bullshit anyone comes up with. I'm too busy doing things I actually care about."

"What do you care about ?"

"Princess, for one. And you."

"You care about me ?"

"I've just done you, haven't I ? Many many times!"

"Yes but..."

"Don't assume it's nothing just because it came easy. It only comes easy to you."

"But... I mean... wow."

"Damn straight."

The conversation not going in any kind of direction the real Tina had ever encountered or much expected, she reached for a new tack.

"You were here since yesterday ?"

"Yeah."

"But they only brought me today."

"Late last night. Yeah."

"How long were you here ?

"You mean before you ?"

"That's right."

"Most of the day."

"That means you knew I was going to... they... I... bring me here ?"

"Yeah."

"And that means he knew..."

"Who ?"

"He."

"He who ?"

"The guy, whoever's doing all this."

"Oh, darling. It's not one guy."

"Oh. My. God."

The poor flesh, shocked yet again by what right then turned out the last of such uncounted surfeit of natural shocks as might be borne broke down, under heart-ache returned, into a howling, teary heap. The older one, more experienced, naturally of more even temperament, picked up the dropped arms and carried on, for glory and all that's good in womanhood, uphill. "You thought you were getting killed, didn't you."

Tina could make no answer, past the tears, spit, mucus and everything else choking her. She reached her arms, fingers clawed instinctively, grabbing at the other with all the primeval desperation of the first amphibious blob. Once received in her warm, comforting embrace she loosened by degrees, her joints making small cracklings as the immense muscular tension compressing them yielded its grip bit by bit. "Yeah", she whispered eventually. "I thought we were getting killed."

"I don't think so, Tina."

"I thought you were getting killed." she hissed, "I loved you because I thought you were getting killed."

"Oh."

"But you... you knew. Why did you tell me you loved me ?"

"Because I do."

"You love me ?"

"Yes."

"But we've just met."

"So ?"

"So why would you love someone you just met ?"

"Because I want to."

"Why do you want to ?"

"Because I do."

"What do you want from me ?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come on!"

"Does it look to you like you're in any position to give me things ?"

"Not things!"

"You mean, give me yourself ?"

"What do you want from me ?"

"I don't want anything, darling. You have plenty inside, it's true, and you'll give it to me... to us, you'll give it to us when you're good and ready."

"I won't!"

"You're smart, you'll figure out soon enough it's not worth keeping. It just turns sour if you try and hold on to it."

"I hate you."

"Why ?"

"Because I'm afraid. I know you're right, and I'm afraid, and I can't help myself."

"Nobody can ever help themselves."

"Why did you come here ?"

"I wanted to kiss you."

"But why so early ?"

"Oh, I like it like that. I always come early. I like waking up in the cell. I love feeling what you feel, again. I like to remember..."

"You did this before ?"

"Yes. It was part of the deal."

"What deal ?"

"When we were sold, they agreed we can come back to train young whores to be slaves."

"You were... you were sold ?"

"You'll be sold too, Tina."

"Like a slave. Like a thing, like an animal."

"Like a woman."

"That's terrible."

"At least it's not boring."

For some reason uncomprehended Tina's eyes lit up. She was giggling as she said "You know, I could really go for some boring right about now." and it caught like a bright spark in fire sponge. Soon enough they were both laughing hysterically, like the funniest thing imaginable had just been said, the funniest joke ever they two alone were only privy to. As the spasms of hysterics died down, Tina hooked herself up on an elbow, looked up and down the other's prone body, drinking her in from toe to eyebrow with her eyes as she whispered "What will I have to do ?"

"Everything, darling. You'll have to do everything."

"To you ?"

"To everyone."

"I'll have to do everything... to everyone..." Tina cooed to herself, like she were putting herself to sleep with a lullaby.

"Yes. You'll do everything to everyone all the time."

"Everything..." Tina traced the words with her lips like an incantation, "to everyone... all the time." Suddenly she jumped to her feet, then came down on her knees, sitting on her heels, both hands on the other's belly. "How about now ?"

"There's definitely something you could do right now."

"What should I do... hey, should I call you Tina ?"

"You may call me dogslave. That's my naked name."

"What's a naked name ?"

"Well you see Tina, when a little girl dies down and a new whore is born, she gets a name. It's not for other people."

"You mean only people you're naked with ?"

"That's right."

"This is pretty cool. So wait, wait, if you're dogslave can I be Catslave ?"

"If you want to be Catslave I'll call you Catslave."

"What about the others ?"

"Who ?"

"I don't know, you said I'm going to give myself to you and then you said us."

"Oh. You'll have to talk to them about it, won't you ?"

"But who are they ?"

"I don't know."

"But didn't you say..."

"I just meant us whores. I didn't have anyone in particular in mind."

"Wait, so how many are there ?"

"I have no idea. Many."

"You never met them all ?"

"I'm sure I haven't."

"But I mean, like more than ten ?"

"For sure, more than a hundred. What, I know at least a hundred. More than a thousand, ten thousand, I don't know. A lot, anyways."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"May I... is this even a thing ? If I kiss your ass ? Like I mean your asshole."

"Oh love, that's exactly what I was going to ask."

"It is ?!"

"Yeah" offered the stretched out woman turning face down, lifting her ass by her knees towards the other's face, her left cheek flat on the bedding. "Kiss my asshole! Put your pretty lips on my pretty lips and spread them with your tongue. Reach deep inside, oh yeah, that's right. Right there, lick my shit inside of me baby!"

The kneeling girl worked her way eagerly, hungry for the other almost, or rather utmost. She reached her fingers by her chin and rubbed the engorged, sensitive bud as she dug her tongue demandingly inside the dark folds and cryptic recesses of coppery depths. As her dinner begun to spasm all around she demured, her tongue hard, harsh almost, burrowing against the soft skirtings inside the other with a determination beyond mercy.

dogslave let the budding young whore work her a long while, until she could take it no more and then past that, until she could take it no more again and past that again. Eventually she turned around, hands on Catslave's shoulders, pushing her down. She kissed her soiled lips eagerly, tasting what she distinctly perceived as yesterday's dinner on there, between the gums, on the other exhausted tongue, everywhere. Then she broke the kiss, hovering close, breathing her words into the other's still open mouth almost.

"You taste like shit."

"That's the most dinner I've had since yesterday" came back the answer, the other's eyes sparkling again, "and may I say it was delicious."

"I'm a well fed whore."

"I'm starving! Your shit is the most food I've had like ever! I think I might die."

"But I enjoy you starving."

"You do ?"

"And your desperation."

"Please! I'll do anything!"

"Even eat my shit ?"

"I swallowed some, you know."

"Oh, wow!"

"Yeah. Your shit is inside my tummy now. I'm digesting it. It's going to be part of me. Forever!"

"Hopefully it doesn't go to your head."

"Do you think I'm going to die ?"

"If you don't eat, you mean ?"

"Yeah. I'm so hungry..."

"Nah. It takes like a month, I think."

"Are you going to keep me here without food, in this dark dungeon, until I die ? Of hunger ?"

"I think I might..."

"Oh, please!"

"What ? You could eat my shit. I could go out, and have great meals, and then come back to you here, and we'd hang out, and when it's time you'd eat your dinner out of me again. I'd tell you what it had started as while you did it, or maybe you'd tell me, after a while."

"Oh my god."

"It can be done, you know. There was this Chinese emperess once who was upset with a young slut, and she chained her in the toilet. So she had to eat the shit of all the other harem sluts, and of the emperor too, her boyfriend."

"Wow! What happened to her ?"

"Nothing. She was there for years."

"Nobody brought her any food ?"

"Nope. You can live on shit, you know. It's not fully digested, there's calories in there. Pigs can fatten on it."

"Really ?!"

"Definitely. It's what pigs were originally for, getting the calories out of shit. More efficient that way."

"I had no idea."

"Well how would you, I mean you only went to school, right."

"They don't teach you anything really important, do they."

"Nope."

"So what happened to the poor Chinese slut ?"

"Nothing, she just lived in the sewer and ate shit."

"But didn't the Emperor her boyfriend come to see her ?"

"He eventually figured out it's her at one point, and left in disgust."

"Wow!"

"That was the first time she saw him since her chaining down there, and also the last."

"Oh my god. Why is this terrible story making me so hot ?"

"Because you're a pigslave."

"Can I still be Catslave even if I'm a pig slave ?"

"Sure love. You can still be Catslave."

"As long as I eat your shit ?"

"Oh, you'll be eating my shit for the rest of your life."

"Do you promise ?"

"I promise. Now swear."

"I swear I'll eat your shit for as long as you live."

"That may be a long time, whore."

"Are you really going to make me eat your shit like you said ?"

"Nah. We can go out, have a steak or something. And a toothbrush."

"You mean, right now ?"

"Sure."

"I... uh. Is it ok if we stay a little longer ? I'm not really so hungry anymore right now."

"Sure, we'll go later."

"I think I might need to puke."

"Do it on me if you do."

"What, really ?"

"Yeah. Right here between my tits and on my belly. Then we can lick it back in together."

"You're disgusting, you know that ?"

"What's so disgusting about it ?"

"I don't know. It just is, okay ?"

"That's how Doll got to meet Princess, you know."

"What, eating her puke ?"

"Yup!"

"Who's this princess you keep talking about ?"

"Oh, Princess is just Princess."

"What does she do ?"

"She owns us."

"She owns you ?"

"Yeah."

"Me too ?"

"Not yet. Maybe, if Master buys you."

"And then we'd live together ? Where you live ?"

"Yeah."

"Please!"

"You'll have to behave though."

"Oh my god! What will I have to do ?"

"Lots of things."

"I'll eat my puke with you, ok ? We'll lick it back in together like you said."

"And anything else ?"

"Anything!"

"I can't ask you to promise and swear, but I'll talk to them."

"What can I do ?"

"Don't worry, you're doing fine."

"Will you... are you going to kiss me too ?"

"Your asshole you mean ? No I'm not."

"How come ?"

"Because I'm not hungry."

"We're not equal, are we."

"Not really."

"You're great and you know a lot and are even eighteen! While I'm just seventeen and I just wasted the last six years of my life."

"You could say that. It's not really true though, look how quick you're catching up."

"Will you eat my shit one day ?"

"It's possible."

"Like, you'll be all alone and scared and hungry in a dungeon with like spiders and bats probably, and my shit is all you'll have to live on ?"

"Maybe!"

"I'd feed you lots and lots. And you know what else I would do ?"

"What ?"

"I'd put bananas in there, and things, when nobody's looking. So you'd have them with my shit."

"Aww, that's so sweet!"

"And that way you won't die and you'll live longer to suffer! Ha-HA!"

"But maybe I'd love to suffer with you."

"You would, huh. There's nothing anyone can do to a whore, is there."

"Nothing at all."

"I can eat your shit, I can do anything."

"Absolutely anything."

"Incredible. I've never felt so good in my life."

"That's why there's so many of us. Everyone thinks it sucks for all of five minutes, then it's all 'please let me eat your shit for a living' and stuff like that."

"When we go to eat, can I be naked ?"

"Sure, why not."

"Do we have to wash first ?"

"Why, you want to go there filthy ?"

"Yes! I want everyone to see me like this. And to know what I am."

"Alright then, let's go."

"Right now ?"

"Sure, why not ?"

"One more cuddle first, okay ?"

"Okay!"

Social agreement has the overwhelmingly insidious quality of escaping cursory examination, and this irrespective of whether it was arrived at for the sake of agreeing on something, no matter what it may be, or otherwise. Thus the naive seventeen year old found herself unexpectedly trapped in an unforeseen web of firmly unexamined notions and unsophisticatedly uniform valuations, discerning nothing and therefore usable only in very narrow contexts. Fortunately for her, fiction is not a stable state of being.

« To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

Halt! Hammerzeit!!! »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Friday, 25 December, Year 12 d.Tr.

Bulk sale, some Princess included

Monday October the 13th. I asked Meron about Africa and boobs and she told me that it is not true at all! She said mothers in Africa use a rolling pin or something like that to beat up their small daughters over where their boobs will maybe grow so they don't! Because if their boobs grow at all then men fuck them and they have babies and everyone starves! I didn't believe her about the starving, because seriously now, who starves ? You have to not eat anything for like weeks! But she said it's true, because they only have a small goat or something or a pet rat and it can't give enough milk for so many people, because the feminism in Africa is to not have supermarkets or Whole Foods or anything. So it's very rare for women in Africa to even have boobs, though they do have a lot of babies anyway, because men still fuck them anyway to give them babies but just don't like them as much. So maybe I think that's why they do it to their daughters, because men don't like them and so they won't like the daughters either. Stupid moms!

Then Sylvia asked me how come and where did I hear about such things and I said oh Sylvia, I go to the library like every day, you know. Which is true, because I do, but I don't always write it up because I only write up some things because it takes too long. But Doll said "Oh yeah ? Which book was it ?" and I said "The Illustrated Survey Of Boobs in Africa" and she started laughing and I said don't laugh, it's real! It's a big book in the library and Sylvia asked me who was the author and I said "Sylvia Dollhouse" because it's such a funny name. Sylvia rolled her eyes and Doll said "That sounds maid up!" but I said nuh-uh, it's real! So they said I'm a witch and I'm messing around and Doll grabbed me by one hand and Sylvia grabbed me by the other shoulder and sisi yelled "Get her!!!" and they all piled on me and tickled me. Except for Meron who took the breakfast things out, and I was yelling "I'm a bad witch, I'm a bad witch, I am messing and I have to be punished! Please punish me!" when Chef came in.

Everyone was like "Oh hi Chef!" but I grabbed dogslave by the hair and pushed her face in my cunt and held her head with my thighs because I can't have it when there's men there but I like not having it so much it's almost maybe better than having it, some times! dogslave lapped me and drooled on my cunt like she was a real dog licking a chunk of frozen peanut butter and it was so nice omg. Then Chef told us we are sold off and I was like what! and everyone else was like o wow, except dogslave who was like lick lick slurp slurp and I love her between my legs and all the time. She's such a good doggy licker it is incredible! But I was blinking at Chef and said "I thought we're supposed to have an auction ?" but he said we did, and aren't we curious who the new owner is ? But I said no, I'm curious how we had an auction, were we even there ? And he explained that people heard about us and saw our presentation materials, which the facility people made out of us and filming us all the time when we didn't know, and like funny things we said are in there and how we fuck all the time but I said silly Chef, we don't fuck, there's only girls here and he said it makes no difference. Because for instance when I have dogslave between your legs lapping you up it is still fucking even though I don't even have my hole and I said "Chef, are you sure ?" and he said yeah and Sylvia said "He read it in a book in the library called The Atlas of Fucking in Facilities Illustrated by Psycho Chef" and we all laughed so hard and he was like wtf have you all been eating. I think I maybe peed a little in dogslave.

Then he explained more that qualified bidders which is like cool people were invited when we were punished and watched us being whipped and they told them that we weren't even being punished just their Princess asked for it because they like to be hurt and beaten now and again and also at the dinner we went to and so people know us very well. Like, some people even watched us the whole time at the facility, all day long, and they'd take special whoremones to keep them up all night instead of sleeping so they could catch up. So I went like elk and elephant and octopus at like everywhere, which are mocks you can do like elk is when you put your thumbs against your head and move your fingers and do faces with your eyes and your tongue out, and elephant is when you put your thumb against your nose and move the fingers and shake your head and make funny noises of neener and you can also put your other thumb against the pink for extra and octopus is when you put your thumbs on either side of your chin and make faces too. They're really all the same thing of making faces and moving your fingers but it is very insulting! And it serves them correctly, because correctly is even more than right. Plus it's longer.

So I asked him if we can have our presentation materials and he said ok, but we'll have to wait to watch them because there's no tv or anything at Occunt which is how our place is now called and we can't watch that in the library because it is against the rules and I asked how come and he said well for one thing you five don't fit in a media booth, and besides we'll make a scandal and I said ok Cheffffff. Then he said "so you really don't care who bought you, huh" and I said not really, it's more interesting how much they paid for us ? And he said he offered our weight in gold! Like, all together, which is much more than anyone else would have bid not like they do in auctions where they just bid a little more over each other because nobody wants to pay anything if possible. Chef said our new owner did it because it is poetic, and because it means we are as great and valuable as the famous slave whores of very old in his country, like when poets existed which is before America was even invented! And I was wow, and Doll and Sylvia too, because it's really just such a cool thing to do. But Chef said we have no idea, because all the gold there even exists in the world at all would only be enough for the weight of maybe a few million women, and there are a few billion of them.

Doll said "so he's getting a great deal, huh" and I said "how come ?" and Doll said "well where's anyone gonna find another million Babydolls" and Chef laughed and said that is so. But I said no Doll, you don't understand, that's not how it goes, because many women have a little bit and even if it is just a little it adds up because there's so many of them and it's like with rich people, the richest guy doesn't have like, half of all the money there is. He has a very small part but he is very rich because nobody has more because everyone has a littler bit but there are so many of them. Chef facepalmed and I said "It's the Power Law Doll, look it up!" Doll was like wtf and Sylvia asked what gave me that idea and I said it's in the Illustrated Atlas of Power Things by Cool People. But really it's true, I looked it up when I was looking for power things, like there's electric power and power of attorney and there's a law! Like when one guy gets most of things and that's what it's called.

Then I said I am sorry for earlier good Chef, please tell us who the new owner is but he said we can all just look it up in the atlas, and said he's going to be here tomorrow to talk to us for the first time and please be good and also later there's going to come his architect to talk to us too. So I said later when, and he said as soon as you are all gussied up. Then he clapped his hands and three women came in, and they were dressed very interesting, like they dressed me and Doll up that day we went to lure Sylvia to be kidnapped and enslaved to be with us. I said so and Sylvia teared up a little and then Doll asked her if she is sorry and she said no, she's not a little bit sorry, and thank you so much Babydoll for doing it to me. I told her Doll was very worried that maybe she did the wrong thing, and Sylvia said she told her but that luring a girl to be kidnapped and enslaved is always the right thing to do. And I said "even if she has a career and drives electric cars just as well frontwards and backwards ?" and they laughed and Sylvia said in that case especially!

The women though, they are so strange! First thing they came in they said "Salami and cum!" like I thought maybe they meant the penis is like a salami ? But I was all I don't want to fuck a salami wtf! but Sylvia said no no that's how they say hello and they started chattering among themselves, the three women, and it sounded like maybe they're impersonating birds ? It made no sense, but Sylvia said it is their language, like French is a language, but I said how can it be a language it has no words or anything, it's birdspeak. I was really starting to think maybe they're really birds somehow but I tried them out if they spoke French ? And they said Oui Madame! which is not really correct because I am not married nor do I want to be, even though big white dresses with your boobs out are kinda cool but I don't have that big boobs anyway and I don't want three children of which two won't even ever grow up and who knows about the third. But anyway, we speak in French with them, Sylvia and Doll and me too, but dogslave and sisi have no idea at all what we're saying because they didn't like French in school and didn't pay any attention especially dogslave, because it doesn't matter so much with sisi if she pays attention or not, so we tell them what we say but sometimes we mess it up. But I'm not going to write it in French here because I don't like all the accentings.

They said we have to dress up, and I said nuh-uh, wtf dressing, we're slave whores and we aren't dressing but then Doll said hey remember the gym and she is kinda right and besides they explained that the architect of his grace is waiting to see us since this morning early and he can't come in when we are naked like that because he is not a you nuck. And it turns out that this guy that bought us doesn't do the trannie thing like everyone else but they actually cut off the boy's penises and ballsac and everything so little boys can hang out with slave girls and in the harem, which is what the place is called where slaves go like the Occunt. And in that country you can't tell men to kiss your bud like I made Psych or be naked at all in front of them because they go all crazy. I think that's silly, because Chef doesn't ever go crazy, but maybe that is because he has so many slaves and he sees naked girls all the time and besides I think they probably always want to lay down for him so he forces himself into them if he wants. dogslave told me she'd totally do it once when we were talking and sisi too, sisi said she'd do it with anyone she's so tired of not having her hole to put things into, and then I told her about the little girl so she got all spooked and couldn't go to sleep anymore but then I told her it is all made up bullshit to scare girls just like her but I'm not sure she believed it or maybe she's still worried about spiders crawling secretly inside of her and doing spidey researches. This is the problem with stories, that people sometimes believe them even if they don't.

But the big news is that the man who has bought us is actually a prince! Like, his older brother's son is king, so he is a prince that is the uncle of the king in that country. Isn't that strange ? But if you think about it that's right, because say a guy is king, and he has sons. So they are princes, like it is normal, but if the guy dies one of his sons will be king instead, also like it is normal, but this means what will the others do ? Because you can't say to a person "you are no longer a prince because your brother is king now not you father". And then if the brother who is king dies too, what happens ? Because it could be that his other brother is king now, but it can also happen that his son is king, so then you still can't say to the guy he's not prince anymore, right ? Because you're either a prince or not, you can't keep changing it back and forth. So you can have princes that are the uncles of the king, they don't have to be just his sons. This is what happens when time passes, everything that was clear and normal becomes all messed up, and complicated and hard to keep track of and you can't expect things to be normal which I think it's why people from like Ohio have so much trouble living in a real town.

Doll said "Check out Princess, she's found herself a real Prince" but I said nuh-uh, because he probably doesn't even want to marry me or even put his penis inside me just like the owner guy and besides he probably is married already like Dad was to who knows what mom from like before they even had aeroplanes and also I don't want to be married in the first place because I don't want to suck a bunch of really big penises afterwards. And Sylvia asked me where did I get that idea from and Doll said you know, the atlas and I said damn straight! Then they wanted to tickle me again but the women got really pissy about it for some reason and they kept boinking their hands on their heads but not like you facepalm correctly and kept pushing and pulling and shoving themselves between us. I really had enough of the bullshit so I yelled and ordered them all on their knees and everyone did, like Sylvia and Doll and dogslave and sisi and the women too, and one of them said "Well that didn't last long" but in their bird language but Sylvia kinda understands it and she explained it to me. And they said in French this time that they have orders to do everything I tell them to but please be reasonable, there's a lot of things I don't understand and it's not possible to make so much trouble because my Master wouldn't like it. But I said to them if he didn't like it he wouldn't have come all the way to over here to pay our weight in gold for us slave whores, he'd just have married some of your daughters. And they started hissing all aggitated and they called me Princess Safaqa which Sylvia explained is how you say cheeky. I asked them why did they call me that and they said because I have no shame and I said that's right, I don't!

Then they dressed us quietly and it's pretty complicated work to end up looking just like a sack. Once we were done the architect guy came in and he had all sorts of plans, like drawn on really large paper of how our palace is going to be! Because my Prince owner guy is building a special palace for us to live in! But I told him this is all wrong because it was complete bullshit, he came up with this thing where it's all square and there's a water fountain in the middle with our statues in each direction and there's paths going through a garden around it and there's a palace for each of us four on the sides and we can meet in the middle. But I told him this is not a very good plan, because for one thing there are five of us. Which really got him very aggitated and he kept boinking his head against things like the floor, and waving his arms above his head like he was trying to scare chickens away or something. Really these people have no idea how to manifest themselves, they're like some people who have never seen other people do anything and so can't even facepalm because they just read about it and don't know how it goes really.

Then he calmed down a bit and I told him his ideas are all wrong so he got really excited and annoyed and kept chewing without any food but eventually he calmed down enough and I explained to him that we can't have a fountain for the center, we're not fish! We're whores, and what whores do is love, and they do that in bed, and so we must have a heart-shaped bed in the middle of all things. It must be real big, so that I with sisi and dogslave can sleep on one heart part of the heart, and Sylvia and Doll can sleep on the other one, although I could visit any time that way because it'd be just there and sisi and dosglave wouldn't miss me so much and plus there would be space for dogslave to go at our feet on the pointy part of the heart and we could all kick her that way and she could kiss all our feet together! Then they said but Princess, what if your Master comes to spend his time with you and I said it will be perfect because we can all pilehug him and besides I don't want to have him in me if Doll's not holding me down for it because I really have trouble with penises and I'm a lesbian maybe. So the guy started howling and covering his ears and they sprinkled him with water and it was a whole show! And then they brought in a wooden thing like a wall with holes in it but it just stands up and you can move it, and he sat behind that thing and we talked like that!

But we talked better this way so maybe it's not such a bad idea, and we agreed that the bed must be like a heart shape and taller than two girls are tall and wider than two girls too so it should be really big like the size of at least three beds put together! But it shouldn't be very big either, and he said he understands. Then we said there should be furniture around and normal things, and the bed should be in a square room, and each wall of the room should be painted different colors. Like there should be a green wall, and if you go out the door that way you should be in a greenhouse, which he said he knows what those are, and then the green house should open into a garden and then from there you should be able to go to the rest of the places that they have. And the white wall should go to the bathrooms, and there should be a big jacuzzi and showers and a gym, but the jacuzzi should be in the middle and there should be at least three bidets and good places for whores to play in the water like a very shallow pool like at first it should be only one palm deep and flat and long, and then after a bit it should be two palms deep and like that, so we can play well and splash. And the red wall should have in it everything for a whore like all the clothes they can afford and everything for make-up and perfumes and everything that is needed. I also told him we should have in the middle of it a special thing with a big mirror and lightbulbs around it like they do for real whores in brothels to dress up and in strip clubs and for actresses, and there should be five of these facing each other so we can all do our faces at the same time and we can help each other and with comfortable chairs and a table and everything for hairdoing and things, but he asked would it be ok if there were six and then the mirrors would make a hexagon ?

I said that's a good idea, and really, maybe he's not so bad an architect once he gets over not having had any girls or sex or anything. Then I told him the black wall should be towards the punishment room and it should have a fire in the wall just like Psych's does here, and all the machines and tortures that Master wants for us inside, like he really should talk to Psych about it because he knows things so well, and we should be beaten there and taken for our punishments so we stay enslaved for him and don't get independent or stupid or feminist. By the end of explaining it to him the poor guy was nodding and was very excited and he told us this is much better a design than the stupid thing he came in with and he is sorry for having wasted our time and he sees now why I am called Princess because I really am, and that it will be his honor to show me his beginner attempts just as soon as he's done what I say which he will do as fast as he can and not even sleep! So I said he is a good man and he kept kneeling himself on the way out.

And after they left the boss of the women pushed the thing aside and then came and kneeled and did like that silly girl, bopping her head on the floor, and then she said that she begs my forgiveness and she is humble and regrets offending my graceful englightment but that in my mercy I must bear in mind that many people who aren't as great as I am are also set in their ways, and it is hard for them to change, and I said of course, like Plato says about the men in the cave, and she looked at me horrified kinda, and then she said that please may they help us as much as they can and know how in our greatness. And I said sure, and now take your clothes off.

She just didn't say anything, and then said "Please Princess, do we have to ?" and I said definitely. You've seen us whores naked, now we'll be dressed and you whores parade your naked asses, it's only fair. So they talked among themsleves and one was crying but they took off their everything slowly and like they've never done it before, which they told me it is true, they were never naked in front of people before ever, and they held their heads very low and they were very red in the cheeks and held their hands in front of their cunts but you could still see they don't even shave their hair or anything. Their skin was all crinkly, not like black women at all not white either or like Doll at all but more like that pretty girl, golden somehow, but their hair wasn't curly like hers but also black, except in places with white in it and I think they were old like maybe not sixty but definitely older than any naked women I ever saw outside of the library. Isn't a library a wonderful thing ? One can learn so many things there, that will then serve them in their life... And we went and hugged them, although we were dressed and it was kinda stupid to hug people when they can't feel you on their skin, but we told them it's okay, and they cried on my shoulder a little!

Then we all went and ate dinner at the restaurant! Like where we were naked before when we met the owner, but this time we were all dressed and it was a large table and it was ok because we are owned now and we are allowed to go anywhere in the hotel that we want, because we're honored guests of his grace the Prince that owns me and my baes. But we have to go with the women of course, and their names are Maryam, Bahia and Zahida, and Maryam is the boss one of them but they told us these aren't their names from when they were born but from later when they got them, because Maryam means our boss lady and Bahia means beautiful so that everyone loves her and wants to follow her and Zahida means restrained and obedient, like with a hobble but not a real hobble on her ankles but a hobble she thinks and receives from god. We said oh it's the same with us, because sisi is named after this princess from long ago who was beautiful and obedient and easy-going just like sisi and everyone loved her, and dogslave is because she's loyal and obedient and likes to fuck a lot just like a bitch dog, and Doll is because she is so pretty and just like a perfect doll and I am Babydoll because I am Doll's baby girl and Sylvia we don't have a name for yet. They were very amazed, and whispered among themselves and then said how about Sadiqua for Sylvia, which means whore who speaks the truth, and it's pretty good, but Sylvia said she lies sometime. I told her I don't remember you ever lieing but she said she lies to other people not to her Princess that beat her hard and lured her to be enslaved and she was faking like she's affraid of me which I guess she kinda does a lot of messing around with people and faking out things.

So they said Nyla, which is an Egyptian princess but that's kinda meh and a stupid name. So they said how about Ibhar, which means wide open, like the ocean, and Sylvia said hmm and they said or Gazala which is someone who is intellectual and fascinating so we all laughed to mess with her and said oh no, that can't be Sylvia then, and she was all bothered by it but couldn't do much because we were in the restaurant! And she has to behave herself like a slave whore slut LADY! Then they said Rabita, which is a chain, like tying down, and all sorts of other things but we didn't really pick anything. The food was delicious though, and then we went back to Occunt and we took our clothes off because it's just too hot and inconvenient to be dressed all the time and especially it's annoying at home, but the women didn't and then we went to bed. And they are guarding our entrance so nobody can come in and fuck us! But we told them nobody comes to fuck us anyway, and they said it doesn't matter, because it's in their traditions. So we talked a little and then went to sleep.

Continued >>

« Princess Babydoll looks in the mirror.

The War With Grandpa »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Sunday, 15 November, Year 12 d.Tr.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon

It occurs to me Zefirelli is very fucking untalented, or else how could atrocities in the degree of say Brother Sun, Sister Mooni be explained ? It's literally "young politician going places meets social caseworker", the worst parts of City Hall reshot by some idiot with all the cinematic finesse and understanding of say that goof Tarkovsky, or a random block of wood. Charlton Heston's farcical facial contortions of perpetual constipation benefit at least from an actual film occuring all around them, but this misery... On some level I'd like to think Zefirelli was merely a cynical exploiter of early UStard pantsuit "thought"/narrative proclivities, that he knew all along what crap he's turning out but turned it out regardless, for money or whatever. Try as I might there's really not much available to make that case.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon is little more than the retarded dumbos in San Pedro scribbling on walls some half-baked nonsense about how "their lives are more important than [my] profits" or whatever in that hysterical vein, a tiresome collection of the five or six perpetual avatars of infantile imbecility -- the girl that is only interested in the boy once it's clear he's defective, the "French" speaking mother, the... Bleargh. Pointlessly contrived bullshit of this sort has no place in civilised society, and that's the last possible world on the matter.

———1972, by Franco Zeffirelli, with a bunch of inept fucktoys supposedly "acting", because this is the problem with permitting faggots run things : they run things right up their own arse. [↩]

« Film d'amore e d'anarchia, ovvero 'stamattina alle 10 in via dei Fiori nella nota casa di tolleranza... Or, Emasculation as the female vocation.

Sarah and the facts of life »

Category: Trilematograf

Sunday, 27 September, Year 12 d.Tr.

"Bitch, I'm a cow..."

You know this groovy 2018s thing ? Lowest effort imaginable "youtube content creation" in the approximatively shapely presentation of some lame-ass cvasi-black chick sorta-kinda dancing, high as a kite ? "I'm not a cat, I don't say meow, bring out my hay!" and so on ?

Well, we just discovered it (by which me I don't mean we... uh... actually what I meant to say was that by which we I don't mean me, I just happilly followed along, okay ?) and it definitely has its very distinct cool about it. The author hercowself doesn't really seem to be all that privy to it -- she's just doing slight take-offs the same old black dudes "music" (mostly, the background dancing she'd have had any cultural truck with) such as it is, but... hey, it works. It works quite well, actually, and perhaps never was a piece quite so helped by the death of its author it presupposes as in this case.

Outro : She cow pig had kittens.

Also, we watched some well-reputed bit of lesbian-feminist nonsense, called 4 months 3 weeks and 2 days. It's by Cristian Mungiu, it has the two insufferable, vaguely adolescent, "independent" minded heifers required by such productions, it's... god fucking awful, really.

Besides being offensive falsification of lived history -- assuredly and certifiedly no precious cuntlet of humble (aham, "healthy") origins ever was that fucking impudent in the company of the well to do social elite of the late 80s, gimme a fucking break, all these airs of "I'm a person" and "I got my rights" and bla bla bla Clintonesque importation are about as anachronistic as some dude "making himself" an astronaut. Bitch'd have suckled while cooing lovingly every last strand of toe jam off that putative mother-in-law-s sweaty feet, and if you have "other opinions" on the matter you just weren't fucking there, that's all.

But... whatever, what are the lost for, if not making this sort of dumb shit up ? Needless to say, if you've watched this thing and took it seriously you're already in line for that activity. As ye olde expression goes... faceti bezele, baieti.

Faceti bezele.

Tort... de... bezele.

Anyways, time to go for a little bit o' shopping, don't you think so ?

Well... honestly... me either, but what the fuck am I gonna do with all this money ?!

Bridging the years and oceans... bitch can't fit through the bitch-fitin' hole! Dat be where dem bitches fit the fittings, I askt&inquired, yet nevertheless..

What can I tell you, neither can I. But, as the old Romanian joke goes, "Missy, at these prices... I make my own fucking holes."

That woman had her work cut for her that evening, as I'm sure you can imagine. What you can't imagine, I don't expect, quarantine-addled misfortunates & deplorables as you find yourselves, is just how much damn fun she had doing it.

These people genuinely enjoy work, it's a pleasure to watch.

Enough indoor shots though. As the more perspective advertising critics have well noticed, I am under strict contract with the local naturaleza to present at least a coupla stills representative of their commercial offerings & de loisir. So let's get that out of the way then...

Lovage the lovable frog is harem-wide famous for his utterly crazy fucking ideas.

Like...

You know what you do after you crab up a bitch (technically, after your Heidi bitch crabs up your bitch) ? Why, you stick tiny chocolates in the hole (after the various dongs, of course, what the fuck). Let her choke in her own spit and drool all over the place excitedly.

But do you know what you do after you take the hierramenta off ? You ask her how it was, and listen to her say this was not actually as terrible as the time you shoved Turkish delight in her piehole before pegging it nice and shut with a hefty ballgag, so she delightedly choked on delight a whole fucking evening.

The Turks were enchanted, by the way.

Need I say more ?

No ?

Right, I guess we're ready for the meat.

And so, I suspect, is the little boy.

I mean... you gotta start somewhere, sometime, somehow.. amirite ?

Alrighty, well... what can I say to close this. It could be whorse ? I guess ?

« Troco, as in truculence

An introduction to metaphysics »

Category: La pas prin lume

Monday, 08 June, Year 12 d.Tr.

Big City

Big Cityi is utterly, typically and epitomatically a Hollywood stupidio product. As it happens its internal economy also has nothing in common with the symbolic system currently prevailing ; the two worlds share little and communicate poorly, so I don't expect the film is in any way comprehensible to contemporary audiences. Instead of trying to brace that incomprehensibleii, unrepresentablre chasmiii frontally, then, let's approach it obliquely, such as for instance through the ever-delivering device of the "weird"iv.

So, for indiscernible reasons the film is pervaded by... the Romanian language. Just the language, alone, bereft of the corresponding culture, approximate sounds floating soliloquously through the great soundstage voids. I'm not kidding, either, somehow they got Spencer Tracy to almost enunciate "loveste mai tare" while the French-born, British-buried Luise Rainer is obscurely (the word itself is never mentioned, it's always "in my country") Romanian in a most unromanian wayv and spends most of her screentime perorating on the topic.

Also, the brawl (transparently the one raison d'etre of the entire production) is presented in purely aesthetic terms, with the New York City mayor sitting in judgement of the quality of the ballet unfurling before his eyes. It's like an orphanage left without supervision for a season : the (rare) females retired in comatose stasis while the boys just trash the place a-rumblin'. I hear that's what college life was like back when in Biden's day.

Finally (not that there couldn't be more), nobody goes to bed 'till the woman promises things as to the minimum quality of the impending fruit of her womb. "It'd better be a boy" [because what the fuck are girls even for, srsly now] doesn't, in the logic of the piece (and of the place) translate any specific will or desire besides the very simple "must be this tall to ride", it's the ready equivalent of "I don't want any cars with less than four wheels" standard insistently presented to the slick used car salesman by the despairing customer. There's gotta be some limits, naimean ? (And no, a black boy would certainly not do -- even a girl would be better than that).

What can I say, here's a thing that your great-grandfathers (all four of them) definitely saw (and likely sang along and clapped along with) which meanwhile somehow became opaque to your best efforts -- just like their way of life became intangible to your heartiest exertions. Weird coincidences, right, the world is fulla them.

Ye ken ?

———1937, by Frank Borzage, with Spencer Tracy, Luise Rainer, Charley Grapewin. [↩]Ever wondered what'd be the difference between reprehensible and incomprehensible ? [↩]Yes, I'm aware you're immersed & well marinaded in this very peculiar fantasy whereby hollow words devoid of meaning, like "rational" and "democratic" (not to mention "scientific") coallesce like lamb bones in a reduced broth left overnight into a very aspic-firm promise (made by the absent god to you personally, I'm guessing ?) that nothing may ever be outside of your own representation of things that are. Nevertheless...

Nevertheless that's not how either phenomenology or gnoseology actually work ; and besides, the current catholicism, for all its (resurrected) pretense to universality, absolute correctness and perfect chain of custody, stays what it always ever was (and at the very most ever could be) : a dingy little faith, observed by the lazy and the dumb, for lack of anything better to do with the vanishingly little at their disposal. Just another facet of matriarchy, let's say, and leave it at that. [↩]No, nothing's ever "weird" in any deep sense. Exactly like skid marks aren't much of a thing besides the mark left behind the passing of cars, "weird" is just the wound where your subjective notion of the self and its factual experience fail to mesh. What did you think weird was ? [↩]Who the fuck ever heard of "the four blessings of womanhood : husband, friends, home and offspring", is this some early reform Judaism lulz or what the actual cuck! [↩]

« The double decker and other luxuriant sexual practices from the jungle.

French toast -- the making, the eating, and the fucking of. »

Category: Trilematograf

Friday, 01 May, Year 12 d.Tr.

Bethesda's Fallout Shelter

I used to love these games when I was a kid, so of course I'll give this a spin. It offers something called "Survivor mode", which seemsi in the vein of Diablo's hardcore, so... of course I'll tick that checkbox.

Now what ?

Well, now first and foremost we must deal with the all-important topic of Immunity.

Pregnant femalesii are immune, to anythingiii. They can't be killed, or even hurt, by any kind of invader, including the feared deathclaw. They're 100% happy all the time and throughout, even if starving to death while slowly dying of thirst and its attendant radiation poisoning (nor will this circumstance hurt the babyiv at all). They still do work, and at 100% efficiencyv, though moving about somewhat like limp walruses. They can even hold the pregnancy in forever (or until you explicitly tell them to push, whichever comes first), meaning every female has at her... fingertips, har har, potential immortality. How's that for a poon!

Children (of both sexes) are just as immune as their mothers, though somewhat less useful.vi

Items, of any kind, be they weaponryvii, outfits, junk, medical supplies, it's all perfectly immune. Rats won't eat your stimpaks, them ferocious raiders come from the wastes won't steal your formalwear tuxedoes or pressurized flamers, fire won't burn your deserted warehouses piled high with junk. It's just not how Bethesda thinks the world works, what! Pretty much the only way you can lose an item is if you specifically tell it to go away, other than that even dead people give backviii their equipped gearix.

Even adult males come very close indeed to optional immunity : for as long as they're out wandering the endless wastes, the only way they can die is through running into an incident that'll kill them. These incidents however come at a very steady rate, do very little damage, and can't kill guys who have medical suppliesx, all of which circumstances conspire to toghether make the "dangerous" wastes without a lot safer than the "safe" vault withinxi, at least if you're not female. Therefore observing a very simple rule of "ask everyone who's run out of magical pillsxii to returnxiii" will ensure 100% immunityxiv for your (valuable enough to botherxv) males as well!xvi

All this understood, it seems the second topic we will have to discuss is emotional involvement.

Look, I don't care what you see when you look in the box ; all that matters's what's actually in there! I understand you'd like to live out the 1950s ideal fambly home, with guys and gals happily working and fighting together, standing on their own two feet and making the machineries go etcetera. Nevertheless (even if such ever existed outside some particularly feverish clots), this ain't how the game plays out, and so no, we can't be friends anymore -- I play the game like the game is played and that's all.

And now we're ready to move on to the overarching topic of all playing any and absolutely every kind of game : Efficiency!

The currenciesxvii in this game, like in every game, are ennumerable. The foremost's not simply "dwellers" (ie, the colonists, the people living in the vault, the Human Resource as it were) but actually SPECIAL value / timexviii, call it SV/t for short. This currency can be applied (over time, obviously) towards everything else : producing food / water / electricity / medicine / outifts and weapons and more SV/t. Only females properly speaking can do this, and it then follows that all females must at all times be pregnant. Because that's the most SV/t can do : make more of itself.

Because males can't turn their SV/t into more SV/txix, they're stuck with the next best thing : getting gear, which... yeah, that's right, adds to the S'sxx. So they'll be perpetually out there wandering the wastes, except for the occasional chosen one spending time in the vault's fuckrooms with the recently disimpregnated females to get them back to state.xxi

Contrary to what you might've been mistakenly lead to believe, it is not efficient to join rooms into larger rooms, or upgrade rooms.xxii Yes such manipulations provide a very slight increase in the SV/t to PFWxxiii conversion rates ; however a correctly run vault is so full this really makes no practical difference, as you can't retain the production past a maximal cap anyway. On the negative side upgraded / joined rooms greatly increase the threat of vault-sourced invaders (whether from failed rushing or just naturally occurring on whatever timer), so it's not advisable until such a late stage in the game your population's long been maxed (both in the sense of 200 head count, and in the sense of SPECIAL stats) and you're well geared up.

In fact, caps are so abundant (owing to the joint circumstance that rushing rooms has 0 cost for a walrus vault and the abundance of males wandering the wastes producing so much cappage) that occasionally, especially in smaller vaults, trading caps for PFW is worthwhile. Every newly built resource room produces 10 power/food/water ; depending how many you already have 1-200 caps then can be perpetually transformed into 10 of whatever you need by building and destroying and rebuilding and re-destroying the appropriate facility. This is not particularly "efficient", it's true ; but caps are by and large useless anyways, and so what the hell difference does it make. You should absolutely burn down caps without mercy in any situation where your vault's PFW indicators are red, that's for sure.

With the game shut down, the explorers still explore, so make sure they have enough stimpaks for however long you're going to be off.xxiv Pregnant women still evolve towards clickability and children still grow up towards adulthood ; but workers in the vault don't amass levels, and most importantly the telegraph station doesn't work meaning you don't get wasteland encounters at all (which is where most of the loot is made). Because your walrus vault is immune to trouble, there's really no good reason to turn off the game, excepting at the early stages, or when you're writing this article and don't want the eternal siren distractions or whatever.

Thus ideologically equipped, we can now proceed to play Bethesda's Fallout Shelter. You start the game with fifteen free colonists and threexxv "lunch boxes" (real currency item). If you're lucky and there's a rare / legendary hero in therexxvi that'll be your first hero ; if not just pick the best availablexxvii. As with all heroes and per SOP, first have him impregnate all the fallow females and then send him out with the best gear you can scare up (and keep an eye on his health so he does not die out there). While he's out build your vault, strictly on an as-needed basis, one room at a time. Do. Not. Overbuild.xxviii Keep the PFW positivexxix and try to get some stimpacks and radaways made ; but the overarching goal of the early game is getting the OCC up as soon as at all possiblexxx so playable encounters start streaming in. Keep promoting heroes and (tightly!) expanding the base until you can make the endurance 10 lvl 1 set of babies, and generally speaking enjoy your game.

In lieu of conclusionxxxi, I am well confident that once you conquer whatever inner demons pushing you to do whatever stupid shit unsupported by the actual mechanics and embrace instead the afore-discussed correctness you too, like me, will be able to run a perfectly almighty vault in "Survivor" mode. This "you being me" hope/delusion doesn't work out nearly as well anywhere else, so enjoy it where it can be had, I guess ?

———It's not ; all it does is make the enemies tougher (which is indeed welcome, standard issue mooks are pisswasser) and forbids you from reviving dead colonists. It's something, sure ; but hardcore it is not. [↩] [↩]The most amusing part of it all is that this'd be exactly the 1950s vision of womanhood, and for that matter not exactly flushed out of plenty of minds -- I suspect a majority of contemptoraries still hold just about such views fundamentally, even if they're copped out, whittled down unprincipledly and otherwise mentally "coped" against unyielding reality ; anything, anything whatsoever just so they may be retained in the face of overwhelming disappointment, disabusement an' despair. That circumstance'd make then the completely broken game mechanics utterly incidental to cultural breakage, meaning it's not the game designer's fault, it's society's fault. How about that! [↩]Speaking of hurting babies : fully levelled (lvl 50) parents with maxed out SPECIALs will yield Legendary-grade babies occasionally. These start with 40 out of the 70 max SPECIALs pre-allocated ; but it's significantly less important than you'd think because guess what ? If you have the training rooms to make maxed dwellers you have the training rooms to make maxed dwellers, and their starting with a 7 out of 10 in three stats means almost nothing seeing how going from 8 to 10 is 90%+ of the total time needed to train a stat anyways. [↩]Minus, of course, whatever's lost to them running about, arms flailing, in front of cockroaches or whatever other non-threaths that can't hurt them (only if they actually do leave their "work" room, though ; otherwise armflailing 100% legit 100% just as good as all the rest of the work they do in there anyways) . Pic related :

[↩]They also grow up without asking, in the same three hours pregnancy takes at a minimum ; but fortunately they stay immune until actually assigned to a room, meaning it's perfectly safe to have a bunch of deathclaws parade through a base with two dozen young squirts on their coffee break. Magics! [↩]Weapons also come with unlimited ammo implicitly, which is a greatly humongous and very huge indeed disappointment, seeing how important the ammo mechanic was in Fallout 1/2, and how fucking logical it'd be that an actual camp/vault/whatever will actually manufacture some, or at least try to. But no, in Bethesda's Shelter ammo doesn't need to be made, it's not god damned gravy. It "just comes", flowing naturally and of itself, the ownership of one rusty flamethrower implicitly containing within an absolute and unbreakable guarantee of endless oodles of flamethrower fuel, pre-packaged exactly as needed and always available on demand in any quantity as may be required exactly where wanted and without posing any sort of logistical problems whatsoever.

In fairness, this might be exactly the consumerist dream, so again, perhaps not the game designer's fault. [↩]Speaking of whoever shot Liberty Valance. [↩]Except if they die in the wasteland without a pet. Then and only then something might be lost ; but otherwise the pet will ferry all the loot over, no matter it might be dozens of suits of armor or anti-aircraft guns. A three pound kitten will carry it over, day's distance away no problem. Now that's true Fido loyalty! [↩]It regularly happens in the early stages of setting up a vault that you send out a man, along with his flamethrower or whatever, and howevermany stimpaks you can spare. A few hours later, he's turned the four into seven, especially if you're advanced enough (20ish citizens) to have built the overseer cocksucking cabinet and so they can wire encounters in for you to play. [↩]Wasn't that the idea, that the vault was designed to be safe, a shelter from the dangers outside ?

I guess now we know who the hell designed it ; and also end up with a beneficial if unintended aesop on over-engineering : by the time your friends at Vault-Tec are done with it, "learn how mail-in ballots are safe" and things. [↩]Good god they're magical. For one thing there's only two kinds of medicine, and that's because with pills this powerful who could possibly need more ? Hear ye hear ye tale of true and utter technological advancement slash covid vaccines & holy water : A stimpak will recover half a guy's health, no questions asked.

Are you half-dead with mange, pancreatic ulcers or bleeding out of the corneas for unknown reasons ? The reasons don't matter, just as long as you're half dead you can take one of them stimulative packages and be absolutely as good as new. And if you're not half-dead but moreso dead than half, no problem, you use one stimpak, go get hurt some more (but more measuredly this time) and take... another stimpak. That's right, not only are these magic cures readily produced within minutes and in tight supply conditions by barely qualified personnel, they also compose indefinitely, making for quite the medical immunity sui generis. What aging ? Are you half-aged, you mean ? Well...

In the same way, the other pill deals with radiation. The meaning of radiation poisoning (throughout the Fallout series, to be fair) is strictly limited to a cap on maximum health. These magic pills remove it, and there you go, all better! [↩]Which is intrinsically perfectly safe. Coming back from anywhere takes always and forever half the time it took to get there in the first place ; and there's absolutely nothing that can happen to a lone wanderer in the irradiated wastes while treking however many hours or days back home. Now that's some kinda immunity I could get behind! [↩]It's not a great idea to have them stretch it out, and keep exploring past the last stimpak. For one thing, suppose your internet goes out. For another thing, suppose some disaster strikes just as your hanging-by-a-thread hero's returned home. Why risk it, it's just not worth it. He can go back once he's done doing the deed upon the hussies, what's the rush. [↩]It should perhaps be pointed out that there's no such thing. The system here described is universally +EV over time, meaning as long as you have anything left you really have everything left. Even if you loot a legendary name in the starting lunch boxes and then stupidly kill it within the first hour, you've lost... exactly nothing. The endless march of preggo (but cute) walruses will crush all opposition given enough time (and there's nothing that can deny them that). It doesn't matter you've lost the (momentarily!) only high-SPECIALs guy around along with his flamethrower and pet doggy or whatever he had : six common guys (such as... yesterday's children) with enhanced shotguns (worth six caps and a whole hour's crafting by a single common gal with common gear on) are actually better loot wise ; and besides, the difference between a legendary start-up and a common start-up towards end of game is 10% at the most, in the quest to all-10s starting 7s or starting 3's just about the same thing.

So... don't worry about incidents and accidents, hints & allegations... All that jazz matters about as much as the desperate (but convincing!) screeches put forth by vault womenfolk while nothing noteworthy's going on. It's straight up misdirection, convincing but bereft of consequences. Your own emotions conspire towards making it stick, but try and remember all that really matter's the method. Stick to it and that's all. [↩]Everyone else can wait by the door, if you please : sending them out on an expedition, and then immediately recalling means they queue up at the vault entrance, waiting for you to allow them back in. They are completely immune in this state, even incoming raiders / deathclaws politely bypass the line, blow up your steel vault door, which explosion (and presumable shrapnel associated) do exactly no damage to the dutifully lined-up taxpayers-cum-citizens. Fabulous, huh! [↩]Because every computer game is still run on a computer, which is a processor with registers, every computer game is fundamentally a churn of currencies. Whether there's many or few it doesn't matter, the entire gameplay mechanically universally and reliably renders as a set of rules for moving quantities from accumulator A to accumulator B and whatever happens when C is at zero or over D or whatever the fuck. It's all it ever is because it's all it ever can be ; since nobody else figured out as much nobody else knows what to do about it, which is why Eulora's way the fuck better than every video game ever made, excepting for the part where those are made already and this is still being worked on, but anyways. [↩]Two guys summing to Perception 5 are just as good as a guy with Perception 5 in the Water Plant ; and everywhere else. It's a matter of open debate whether two wanderers out in the wastes, one with maxed P and one with maxed L will outperform a single wanderer out there with maxed P and L together ; but that edge also makes relatively little difference in practice -- by the time you can max one you can max all anyways. [↩]Nor is there any need to, for one thing the vault's magically capped at 200 individuals. A wizard did it ; because that's what wizards do with their time : they come up with nonsensical deeds to do, "rescuing" the mooks from their own mookery but in such a way as to preserve mookdom. Don't you find ? [↩]Originally it seemed to me adding gear bonuses past what'd max a dweller's a waste -- if his Luck's 9 naturally then 2 out of the 3 points bestowed by a tux are wasted. This theory however breaks down if you examine hit point gain per level : an Endurance 1 guy gets 3 HP per new level, while an Endurance 10 guy gets 7 HP and an Endurance 10 + 7 guy gets 11 HP! So yeah, 2.5 + Endurance / 2, but overmax counts! And if it counts there I expect it counts everywhere, so... yeah, overmax ftw.

The fact that adding endurance after having leveled does nothing for the HP means that you technically "lose" HP (in the sense of potential) whenever you level a guy who's not maxed his Endurance. This splits the game neatly in two sections : before obtaining the heavy wasteland gear recipe (Endurance +7 outfit) and after (you'll certainly get it in any usable sense long past you've built your fitness room, so maxing the stats naturally's not at issue anymore).

This is because producing a half dozen wunderkinds who had maxed Endurance since birth (working out in the fitness room does not yield experience, so the babe will stay level 1 throughout Endurance 10!) means the difference between 2-300 hit point heroes and 644 HP heroes -- which in turn doubled by the special kitten can mean a return of 600+ HP per stimpak, up 400% from what it'd do normally. It's not so much that you therefore get 4x as much from your stimpaks, they're not hard to make, but it very much is that you can carry four times as many, which is important because the quality of items found wandering is related to how long the wanderer's been out of the vault, and this to say nothing of improved survivability in quests -- soaking up twice as much damage means you can complete things nobody else can, period. [↩]The way I do things is, once his currently allotted workplace is walruse'd up, I click the baby out of the next one and move her over. This way they all get maximal immunity coverage -- should any undesired event occur while the vault's actively reproductive, I just move the current couple up into the entry room (which is never touched by vault-originating threats, the fires / rats / roaches just roam right past it ; though if it's raiders or something you must wait to move your two guys in there until after they've passed it, at which point they never bother it again no matter what).

And speaking of the way I do things : when starting the vault I give all females whorish last names, and A-leading first names, to indicate the generation, like in horses. I currently have Amber Nude, Annabelle Whorlet, Aileen Slutt and so on, you get the idea. Once they deliver they're delivered (which only happens when some hero feels like spending some time playing with their bits), their female babies will take on their last name and get B-first names, like Bambi Harlot or Bianca Cuntslurp while the boys will get derogatory first names to go with their mother's last (hence Simp Whorlet, Cuckboi Slutt, Derpster Cunstlurp etcetera) -- excepting of course if there's a good one. He who's a good one gets whatever name I feel like upon joining the hero pool (especially early on more is actually better, so you can also keep the best male back for bull duty while all the simps and cucks go out to find their way), which provides all the incentive there can be provided under the circumstances to produce good ones -- I find it works about as well as it does in reality, making this part of the simulation the most accurate of them all! [↩]Eventually (quite quickly, actually ; certainly in the first day) you become strong enough that this doesn't substantially matter anymore, and you can afford the luxury of inefficiency. Traditional gameplay includes all manner of cleverness, such as festooning the outside of the base in small unupgraded but heavily defended rooms, making use of the twin circumstance that a) vault-originated disasters always originate at the outskirts and b) they're always as strong as the room they're in, so the logic is to cut them off at such engineered choke points. The haremvault cares so little about all that elaborate bullshit though...

That said, chokepoints never hurt anyone (fires/rats/etc only spread from room to room and not through elevators or bare bedrock ; meaning that if you segment your base into cells you won't get base-wide disasters anymore). [↩]Power-Water-Food, the declared, or explicit currencies in the vault. If there's not enough power rooms shut down, if there's not enough Water dwellers get radiation poisoning (reducing their max HP) and if there's not enough food they actually drain HP, albeit very slowly, making for the only genuine chronic condition implemented. [↩]I find the maximum pile (25 pcs) is amply sufficient for a few days, but it's of course not trivial to manage 25 explorers (hard magical cap) at 25 stimpaks each, meaning a full 625 items, on the measly storage allotments the game makes available. This is perhaps the most infuriating micro-management nonsense in the whole game. [↩]A fourth free and certain upon completing your first quest upon building the Overseer Cocksucking Cabinet. [↩]I pulled Jericho once, talk about shining good luck. Though there's other good ones, including Don the Crown :

[↩]As a rule of thumb the SPECIALs order for exploration success seems to be PLASIC -- endurance's unrelated to exploration (it also controls how much HP you get per level which happens in and out of the vault, and also limits radiation damage outside the vault but it's an inconsequential effect).

Actually, let's delve in detail. Perception increases your chances to find things, including playable encounters (PE), caches etcetera. This is why you even adventure, a single PE easily worth 2 hour's wandering at a minimum, potentially a whole day if it returns a good colonist, a lunch box, Nuka-Cola etcetera. Perception also makes the critical hit mechanic in PEs a lot easier on the player. Luck does the same thing, and makes the critical hit mechanic more frequent. Together they rule exploration hands down. Agility determines rate of fire (ie, how many turns you get vs the enemy) which is very helpful in combat, but doesn't do much explore-wise. Strength increases damage done and decreases damage received, which is nice ; it also makes it more likely you bash through locked containers in the wild. This last attribute should technically put it ahead of agility ; but the extra shots thing is so nice that it doesn't. (This is a purely end-game point of view, by the way : if your weapon averages 20 dmg per hit you very much want another .5 of a hit in preference of another .5 of a damage, it reduces to a 50% increase of DoT vs a 2.5% increase sort of thing.) Intelligence does absolutely nothing besides increasing your chances to find stimpaks and radaways, which is worse than useless : not only do wanderers not need to find medicine because your base can produce it safely and cheaply, but finding stimpaks probably takes the place of finding other things, which you actually want, for which reasons I'd go as far as to say low intelligence is the best qualification for a future champion-level wanderer of the endless wastes. (The exact opposite is true of females : you want their intelligence maxed so they can churn out medicine and high end intelligence-based weapons for exploration -- there doesn't seem to be any relation between the SPECIAL needed to make a weapon and its usage, in the sense that when it comes to using it, the damage figure is pretty much all that matters.) Charisma is just as useless but it may be slightly helpful in pointless encounters (helping "intelligent" life forms such as wounded sheriffs and escaped slaves, good lord could there be a less sympathetic set) that have very low yields anyway. Endurance as mentioned does nothing particular during adventures (and nothing much at all past level 50 anyways.)

So set your highest P+L colonist to hero status (and if there's a tie set both). If you're misfortunate enough there's no P+L > 5 (and for some reason you don't want to re-roll, though this is a perfect juncture to do just that) try an agility starter see how it works (though honestly agility heroes seem better for quests imo). [↩]The most important thing is getting over the unexamined intuition that your pile of caps is the limiting factor on your building sprees. That way of looking at things is nothing short of suicidal, a sterling guarantee of failure on the medium term (there's no need to discuss the long term in this context, as you absolutely won't make it that far).

As a general rule, do not build a new room unless you can fill it with dressed pregnant women, meaning whatever basic +3 outfit is relevant for the respective room -- handyman jumpsuit for diners etc. The only exceptions are living quarters, which should be built to support your population goals but are not usually manned (careful crossing 60 population though) and training rooms, which should be filled with people gender irrespective but either naked or dressed in irrelevant gear (relevant gear actually slows down training for no benefit), and armed (it's no big deal if you can't take raiders if you don't want to or don't care to, but they should be able to handle molerats/radscorpions).

Also, if your production isn't roughly 1.5x-2x your consumption you should build generators in preference of anything else (the factor is there to compensate for the perennial base disruptions of the middle game). [↩]There's a stats tab inside the wallet submenu off the Pipboy burgerbutton. It lists all sort and manner of useful (or just merely interesting) trivia, including your two-digit-accurate PFW production and consumption, making it all the easier to keep it positive. [↩]Careful when you do, as it comes with an automatic and mandatory "tutorial" quest which involves the spending of some 10 Nuka-Cola the game also provides. Make sure you have some available heroes to take on the task lest you miss out. [↩]If you want a more detailed, walkthrough-style thing I got you covered, here you go :

Phase 1, 0 to 2h?? : Up to 16 or so (you get at least 15 for just existing, they simply show up) settlers : all singlet rooms, no upgrades. Just develop by degrees as you can fill rooms. Top charisma guy fathers all children (use nighties, junior officer uniforms, scribe outfits, whatever charisma uppers you can find, they make the process quicker -- always equip the lower charisma party highest). Once all women are pregnant, all except 1 (maybe 2) males sent out to wilderness. If you're attacked put the guy in entrance room and just wait it out.

Phase 2, 3h00 to 6h?? : 24 settlers (meaning 3 separate living quarters). Recall all wanderers ; deliver and re-impregnate all females. It's a good idea to use the same single father, to keep things simple. This way, once the original slut set's impregnated for the third time (just as their first litter starts coming of age) the patriarch's done sexing girls, and you won't have to keep guessing who is it going to work with or not : pick any guy to be the 2nd father and you know for a fact he can do all of them no problem. Anyways, things can get a little janky under mounting threat pressure at this juncture (careful with the first raider raid ; and remember : you don't have to fight any threats you don't want to, just leave and let the women deal), but as soon as situation's back in hand (at the latest once the children start hitting) start stimpak production. Once there's a decent stash build the overseer (2nd floor rightmost), start doing quests and ease into the next phase. You should have at least one, ideally 3+ wanderers in the wastes at all times in this phase. A science lab (makes radaways) is not bad to have if you can afford it, but only if you're maxed on stimpaks and can spare the power. Don't worry about building it and destroying it only to rebuild it, it's a perfectly legit strategy (in no small part because you get fresh rush potential with each rebuild). Don't build the radio shack though, it's a waste of time and resources at this level (and if it manages to get you a deathclaw to visit it might end up setting you back 2-3 hours for nothing).

Phase 3, 7h00 to ?h?? : 35 settlers+ (endurance trainer opens at 35). Merge three power rooms on the 1st floor nearmost the elevator ; optionally also merge water 2nd floor left side. Possibly the diner also, 2nd floor right side. (This is the correct configuration for dealing with threats as it alternates high strength, high perception and finally high agility ; though this becomes less relevant in late game.) Merge three dwellings, and build a fourth singled somewhere. Build a pair of storages 1st floor rightmost (if not built already). Make a full (3 room) strength trainer and put all the women you can spare in there. The more the merrier, you want to fill it asap because they mutually benefit, the more there are the faster each learns.The general idea is to get a set of six bitches to max strength, after which your power problems are over and you can move on to a set of six perception and then six agility. This hardcore team of a dozen and a half always-pregnant females are as close to a core to your vault as can be had ; they'll always keep your PFW filled and can't be hurt by anything. Eventually, once you have enough wunderkinds you can think of even delivering them one final time, arming them and having a deathclaw party. Mmmm, tastes like lobster! Build the endurance trainer second though, then as resources permit move into perception and then agility. Have six new kids in there training endurance at all times. These are not to ever leave, until they're maxed -- and once they max endurance they leave to go train the other waste-relevant skills (perception, agility, luck). Once they're maxed in all of these and you have the endurance +7 coat to put on them (and not before!) take them to production rooms to get some basic levels (10 at a minimum, probably no more than 20). This is your first wunderkind troop, much like the US Military : while they'll never have sex or matter socially, they're the best damned cucks at the job of being cucks in foreign lands anyone could dream of! Ra ra ra & semper fi!

Assorted useful mid-to-late (with sims one man's midgame's another man's lategame) game tidbits you'll wish you knew early :

Luck is needed by everyone, both male and female. It helps exploration immensely as described ; but it adds caps to rushes and even normal completions in-vault, which yields a steady (and because of multiplicative effects in large rooms, quite substantial!) stream of caps. Thus your stay-at-home moms will not count as maxed unless they're natural 10s in their relevant SPECIAL and also in luck. Given this massive demand, running two game rooms early on is perfectly reasonable.

When it comes to womanly talents, strength is used both in the power plant and the nuclear plant (its overpowered late game replacement) whereas both agility (food making) and perception (water making) are replaced by endurance (fizz bottling plant). Thus a large herd of strong girls is quite reasonable, but all your high agility and high perception females will become marginal explorers in the midgame and then fizzle away into uselessness (occasionally working the outfit / weapon plants, maybe). Compounding disparities, power is needed in larger quantities than water and food, seeing how you need more buildings than people (it being the fate of wealthy old societies, to be buried in capital goods). For these reasons, having six girls training strength and six girls working the plant (for a total of twelve) early on is quite reasonable ; keeping the same numbers in agility or perception is less of a good idea. The best strategy is to make do with normies in helpful outfits until your team of six trains to something reasonable (7, perhaps 8 in both the relevant stat and luck), then replace the normies out and call it good. This should hold you until the bottle plants hit, at which point it's endurance all the way (note that the agility and perception training rooms themselves aren't wasted, and should be present in the shape of 3-space rooms fully upgraded, because your wunderkinds all need to max out in there).

Save your nuka-cola. It's difficult to understand early on just how valuable these are, but let's work an example : suppose you have six bottles, and use them six times to bring home instantly a guy who had been exploring for four hours (and thus needs two hours to return home). You've had for your pains six sets of a four hours' explore yield, whatever those may be, some shotguns, maybe a rare colonist, that sort of stuff. Now compare this with the situation in the mid game when your guy has been out for a whole day (6 * 4 = 24) and can come home instantly, bringing with him a lot more than six times the total of the original example. It's one thing to not have to wait an hour for a dollar, it's another thing to not have to wait a day for a grand, see ? (Fortunately nuka-cola can be obtained from random encounters, so this doesn't become a game of forever hodling.)

Anyways, Congrats. You've pretty much won, or at any rate can't ever lose. [↩]

« Halt! Hammerzeit!!!

Women in Love »

Category: Trolloludens

Tuesday, 29 December, Year 12 d.Tr.

Becket (1964)

Becketi enjoys the least likely of all easements : the best cast possible. It's not a matter of some contextual this-or-that, "the best cast then working" or "the best cast money could buy" or -- no, none of that. It's my considered opinion that Burton (not here, but see Equus) is the best lead actor cinema ever produced. Ever produced. We even had a session yesterday in the harem over it ; the problem with whatever kneejerk alternatives you've been culturally conditioned to produce, Clark Gable, Tom Cruise, Kevin Costner etcetera is that they're two bit superficial nothings, they're only male leads in the sense Sinatra's a singer : because you're watching them as such, and paying a ticket to do so. On their own power they're as much male leads as advertising copy's reading material. Stronger alternatives are really support miscast, major minors like say Keitel (but specifically in Mean Streets, and there only) or Byrne -- in Miller's Crossing. The truly strong alternatives, Paul Newman, E. G. Robinson, James Cagney and... well, that's it. That's it! They're strong alright, but... what can I tell you, not strong enough. Doesn't seem so, to my eye, right now. What can I say ?

O'Toole is easily the best male support ever seen, I don't expect this to be controversial to any degree, who the fuck else, De Niro ? Bruce Willis ? We're talking actors, remember, not gimmicks. Support actors, not "support guys the producer's niece knew".

Do you know what Peter Glenville does, with the best cast possible ? Let me tell you : he makes easily the most ridiculous piece of anachronic ignorant idiocy conceivable. Do you know it actually includes (very visibly machine-milled) fencing around church spaces ? In the 1180s ?! What, some of the saints were in fucking jail, statutory rape, what the fuck !?ii They actually have the imbecile, inenarable audacity stupidity to include Delacroix' painting of Charles d'Orleans exposing a whore -- notwithstanding the eight full centuries separating Romantism from Becket's medieval devotionism (or, for that matter, that Charles was French not English ie the other fucking side in this great tale stupidly retold).

There's so much work done on Becket, why the fuck would these morons American all over it ?! Sad, shameful, miserable verguenza. Do you even know how Becket's conversion occurs ? No ? Well, me either, it happened off-cam, one cut he's this way, the next cut he's that way, they must've accidentally left the titular part of the footage on the mixing room floor.

Idiots.

———1964, by Peter Glenville, with Richard Burton, Peter O'Toole. [↩]This is a big deal, I suppose I have to say explicitly, because the historical character died in a very particular manner : some armed people came to kill him, his familiars bolted down the church door to protect him, and he bid them open it. Because it's "not right to make the house of God a fortress", you understand me ? Nobody has the authority to close that thing, I don't give a shit that some "pastor" is or isn't whatever the hell, he "organized the fundriser" whereby the church was built. He didn't conduct a fundriser for hookers and blow, to do with whatever the fuck he wants afterwards ; he didn't say "give me money to buy dildos". Therefore it's not his fucking church, to come up with "opening hours" for.

Yet this, as self-obviously self-obvious it might be to "those barbarians" living "in the dark ages", is apparently quite opaque to the "aware" and "empathic" sad lot now befouling God's green creation with their unwelcome presence, namely intolerably lowly you. [↩]

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Category: Trilematograf

Wednesday, 18 March, Year 12 d.Tr.

Babydoll, Sylvia, Alana, Meron, and Rosebud.

Thursday October the 9th. Before we left Meron asked us what time do we like breakfast because I think she knew we were up much earlier than they had breakfast for us but I told her Meron honey, we'll eat it whenever you bring it. But this time we slept in very late, and Alana let me suck on her humongous boobs and then sisi and her slept face down and with their breasts all over my face smothering me so I could barely breathe and it was warm and loving and the best thing. So when I woke up I was just drenched in boob sweat and their tits were drenched in my drool lol. The breakfast tray with the statuettes was already in, and Meron was kneeling next to it waiting quietly, but we went to take a shower first and we played with soaping sisi and Alana and it was so much fun! Big boobs are a lot of fun in the shower, and especially the jacuzzi. Too bad we don't have one. Then Doll and dogslave and Rosebud also woke up and came in to shower but we were just getting out and we just kinda hung out drip drying while they showered themselves and we chatted and Rosebud really likes dogslave and it's like puppydog has a puppy of her own now, Rosebud just follows her around and always wants to be with her and she's got a total crush on my whore. She's so cute!

We talked many things before bed and in the morning, but I don't remember them in order. Anyway Alana has had her hole made in her long ago, and she really likes being forced by men, like when they hold her down and she tries to escape but can't and they force her to take it against her will. But sisi said Alana, how can it be against your will when that's what you want, and that's what we're for anyway and she said she knows but it's just how it is for her. She is seventeen years old but she has been a slave since our age like twelve but she wasn't as smart back then, and in this time she was sold to like four different masters, or five even if you count the foster parents before she was taken, but she says she really likes her owner now because he is very secure because she says many times Masters can be very silly like small children especially the older ones and it is not so much fun because they don't know what to ask of a whore or what to punish a slave for and they just do everything wrong and it's like trying to wear too small underwear, even if you like its design or anything it's still uncomfortable and just not good. And she said her Master now is very good friends with the facility people and he said he will lend her back for a few days if she wants to stay with us because he thinks we can only teach her good things and she would like to if that's ok with us but she said she hopes we won't be offended but she really doesn't like eating girl so much although she likes us very much but would that be ok ? It was very strange but Doll said of course pretty, you don't have to do anything, nobody does, we do things because we really really want to, that's all. And Alana was like really ?! like she didn't believe that's a thing and it was just so weird, like how does she think things are ?!

Rosebud is fifteen, and she doesn't like to talk about things very much and I don't think maybe she understands many things but she just wants to be hugged and dogslave hugs her all the time and we all hugged her all loving and nude which is like naked but more elegant and it was just too much for her and she started crying. She kinda likes being on the floor and kissing people's toes by surprise and she ruffs! a lot now like dogslave. She's a bit of a copycat though I think maybe she is a real puppy that just is dressed up in girl legs and arms and things, but a very pretty one! Cherry and Candy are fourteen, and they're very shy, and they were only brought here on September 7th, which is when I met Doll! And they were separate but the same Master bought them both because he doesn't think it's a good idea to separate girls especially twins, and I think they're kinda scared of many things and they just had their holes made in them like last week! They told us their Master made them hug each other and then he did it to them one after the other and back again and then they had to kiss each other's blood where their hole is and lick it and it smarts but they had to do it anyway to make it better. And they said they like to draw, and they drew a lot of things with pencil on the notepad paper we had there, like of us having to fuck real big monsters and dogslave being pregnant with puppies like real dog puppies and giving them out of herself and they are very good with drawings but some of the things they draw are really scary, like even scarier than the torture rooms. And they play-pretend like they're really dragon-foxes, and they have special slave stones at home with have tails instead of jewels! and Doll said that really exists, and they know a lot about animals but the problem is many animals they know about don't really exist! So what sort of knowing is that ?! You can never be sure when they are telling something.

Once the breakfast was done the girls had to go back to their Masters, except Alana, and then Meron took the breakfast out and Chef came and told us today is no gym because it's one day gym one day no gym and we can either receive visitors if we like or else do whatever it is we want, what do we want to do ? And we said Chef, do you have anything like a den in here ? And he said "how about the library" and that was the best idea anyone ever came up with! Do you know what a library is ? It's a very big room, as big as where the dresses are, and maybe even bigger, and there's no mirrors or dresses anywhere because it's just books! And everything in it is wooden, like very old wood that looks like wood not colored white or other colors but wood colored like with wood patterns except shiny but not like on countertops or anything like that. There's closets and closets full of books everywhere and it's all dark and there's tables with chairs all around and strong lamps where you can take books and read them! There's just so many books I don't even think someone could count them all! And it's quiet and it smells like powdered dusts and very interesting, and many books are so old! Like it says Printed 1879 and it is true, it was published more than a hundred years ago! Like before anyone was born, just everyone, there is nobody now who is alive who was there when they published that book! And they're full of many interesting stories and many things and I think there are more things in there than on the whole Internet maybe! It's very interesting and there are a few people there but not very many and it's all old slaves like much older than Doll or anyone, like teachers ages and with white hair but they are still slaves and whores and we were the only slaves of our age there but everyone was very friendly! And they told us stories and helped with many things and Meron told us we have to be quiet and there can be no horseplay or anything or orgasms which is when a girl has it, or anything like that, but it was pretty obvious.

But before we went to the library Chef told us Sylvia is going to be available after lunch, and it was the greatest news! So we talked with him how would it be better, he said she was sedated because they shipped her over inside a large box of fresh flowers and she will be coming to her senses maybe around noon, and his idea was maybe put us all in bed with her and she can come to like that, just wake up in the middle of all of us! And I said that's a great idea, but how about if you put us all in a cage, and first we get all dirty with like mud and make believe like we were in there a long time when she wakes up, and then we just walk out and come back here, just to mess with her. And Chef cocked his head and Alana said "why not give her LSD right before she wakes up" and I said "what's that ?" and Alana said "whoops" but Chef waved his hand like "whatever" and Doll said "You can tell her" and Alana said it's a special salt that makes you go crazy for like a day, and see all sorts of things and everything is in weird colors and shapes like the walls are made of goop and move and it's very confusing but very poetic too! And I asked her if she ever did that and she said yes sometimes, she told us her Master lets her build up like credit, by being an extra excellent very good girl, and then she can ask for things, like she asked to be with us, like a treat. But I said "why don't you just beg him ?" and Doll laughed and Alana said "some people don't really like that" and I said "Yeah, like weird people" and Alana said "take that back!" and I said "nuh-uh, you're all a bunch of weirdos" and she jumped me and was on top of me and I was like "oh, no, please, I am Alana and I don't like eating girl, oh wow, and my Master doesn't like begging, we are so pretty and special and WEIRD!!!!" and Doll was just shaking her head and sisi and dogslave were trying to tickle her but she was just on top of me and was like all angry! And then I kissed her and she kissed me back!

Then we all toppled her and dogslave sat on her chest holding her hands and sisi sat on her in front of dogslave and was trying to hold her legs but Alana has really strong legs! And I said hold her good, I'm going to fuck the dumb bitch now! but I just put my tongue inside her hole a little like it was a butthole but honestly she doesn't taste as good as Doll and then Alana was begging and then she said "Babydoll, do you know how to punch a whore where her babies come from ?" and I was like wut ?! and Dogslave said "Seriously ?!" and Alana was like "Please Babydoll, please do me like that please please please oh Babydoll please! Oh please please Princess" and I was like wut?! And she said "please fist my cunt Babydoll I am begging you please" and she was saying she's a stupid worthless whore and she deserves it so bad and things like that, which was very confusing. Then she told me that she knows I can do it, because she's a used up whore and her cunt is experienced and loose and she can relax it for anything and I have very small hands anyway.

Doll said don't you want lube ? But Alana said no! And Doll said "we have very good vaseline, it's right here, hang on" but Alana said no, please don't, and she explained that lube makes it go in too fast and she gets wet enough for it on her own, and it's better that way because it makes it go in just right! And she told me that I have to put my hand together so my fingers are around my thumb and put that in her slowly, and once it's in past the knuckles sorta pull it in slowly but very slowly like I was a caterpillar, use the fingers to slowly pull the thumb inside of them and the knuckle into her, but not scrape her while I do it, just do it slow and push my arm into her the whole time, not too hard but just steady and then she was quiet and I put my fingers into her like she said and it's true that they were going in slowly, and after a while her cunt was around my knuckles and she wasn't saying anything but I mean at all, and I heard dogslave panting and I looked up and the reason Alana was quiet finally was because dogslave sat on her face and Alana was licking her bud and cunt and everywhere! So I did like she said and my whole fist was now inside her! Like for real, my hand was a fist and it was inside Alana! I tried to pull it back out a little, and it drove her just completely crazy, she started bucking like I thought she'll send sisi flying off her, and then dogslave got off of her but she whispered no, please, sit on my face pretty whore and we all laughed but sisi scooted up before dogslave could sit back down and Alana was just going wild and I could feel her squeeze my fist so hard, she's really strong inside, like she can crush your fist like if you make it thick she can force you to thin it back out! And sisi kept pulling on her legs towards her which made her squeeze my fist inside her, and I tried to twist and turn it little by little and it was just making her wild no matter what I did.

Then she kinda stopped moving and was all limp and I looked at dogslave and then at sisi and I was like omg and I said what did you do, we've killed her! and Doll kinda panicked and was wtf but sisi said she can't be dead, she feels her breathing on her ass, and it's true, Alana was just passed out! So I said "Well now wtf do I do, I'm trapped in here." and yeah, there was no way I could get my hand back out of her and the only person who even knew how I got it in there in the first place was passed out! And I asked Doll and she said she heard about fisting and wanted to try it with Sylvia but they never did and she doesn't know what to do either! And Chef was shaking his head and Meron was like... we could get a stretcher... and everyone was like wtf and didn't know what to do but sisi got off Alana and kneeled down beside her and started rubbing her temples lightly and kissing her mouth and whispering sweetly to her, and dogslave was playing with her limp dead hand lifting it, and then Alana opened her eyes!

I knew instantly she's back, too, because she squeezed my hand like I thought she'd break it, and then had more spasms not as strong but still pretty crazy and she just laid there and didn't say anything only kinda panting a little and I was "Alana what do I do now!" and she looked at me and she said "Hang on, I'm gonna push you out." and everyone laughed because it was so relieving, we thought maybe she's dead. And everybody laughed and then Doll started saying "Push! Push!" and everyone started chanting "Push!" with her like she was giving birth and I guess she kinda was, and I made my fist wide and pushed my thumb knuckle out as much as it'd go to make it hard on her and Alana said "Hey!" but I said "Shut the fuck up, whore. Shut up and push" and then she did push my fist out of her! It was just crazy, she was laying there sweating and panting, but I said to her "I didn't really get to punch you inside you know" but she looked at me and said "Maybe next time, Babydoll. Maybe next time!"

Then we went to check out the library but Alana was going to stay behind and catch her breath and shower and meet us down in the dungeons, and sisi wanted to stay with her and take care of her and I said ok. And Chef said he's going to send someone for us when it's time to go into the cage for Sylvia and he said he's going to give her an LSD dose so it's gonna be crazy for her when she comes to and we all have to soothe and comfort her because anxious trips can be terrible and even drive people insane. So the library is great and we're definitely going back there even though we only had kind of a short time to check it out, especially considering how huge it is, and they were so nice and even let Doll take some books with her and the girl who came to tell us it's cage time said she'll take them to our room which she did. They're really interesting books, too, about slaves from long ago and how they lived!

At the dungeon there was Sylvia! I was so happy I wanted to scream, but Doll grabbed my hand and made shh! with her finger. Sylvia was laying down on a very old wooden table inside a cage, and they put the hobbles on us, like she was hobbled, although that's not how you go in a cage here but how would she know what the facility procedures are. And we rubbed like dirt from the floor on our legs and sides and face to make it look authentic, and we'll shower after anyways. Then we got in and just kinda sat around talking quietly for a little bit, and then Sylvia kinda stirred and was mumbling someting, and Doll went up to her and said "here baby, here" and Sylvia tried to sit up but she was moving really weirdly and Doll pushed her head on her breast and Sylvia sighed and then started suckling Doll's nipple! We were all like Awwww! and we all got close to her and everyone was smiling because they said facial expressions are very important and we must not frown or do anything like hostility and even barking is bad though dogslave has such a happy Ruff! But they said the brain makes strange associations and it's best if we do very small movements and take it slow. And we just hugged her around the table and rubbed her back and belly and thighs and sides and legs and everywhere with our hands, and Sylvia looked so happy! Then she kinda passed out and came back like she was kinda in and out, her eyes were half open but maybe she was only half-there, and we just cooed with her like she was a small baby and I whispered to Doll "this is like Sylvia's being born!" and she really liked that. So it's going to be Sylvia's slave birthday even if she had her stone in before, because that doesn't count as much because she still had a career back then, but now she's just a whore like everyone.

Sylvia asked us all sorts of questions, and many were kinda crazy like "Is it really water ?" and "What happened to all the snails ?" and a lot like that, but some made sense too, like she asked us if the beds are comfortable or what do we do if we need to pee. So we figured she kinda needs to and propped her above the grate so she could pee and dogslave asked if she licks her pee will she get it too ? But Doll said that's a different thing, what they gave Sylvia doesn't work that way. But dogslave kissed her pee anyway, and Sylvia was seeing all sorts of things, like colors and the dungeon was breathing she said, like we're inside a living dungeon animal and it loves us very much, which I guess is kinda true, huh. Alana really liked peeing on the grate too, which was like news to her because she said she didn't remember anything about her time in the dungeon anymore because for her it was so long ago, but she said it's so cool to just go standing up like a dumb beast or a cow or something, and sisi said hey cow's aren't dumb, so Alana apologized for calling cows dumb and she said she knows she's much dumber than any cow.

Sylvia said she's so happy to came be inside the dungeon beast with all of us, and she kept calling Alana Gia for some reason, though we kept telling her it's Alana. She thanked us for inviting her, and asked us how long we have been here and we said the whole time and she said that's so great! She asked us to forgive her for not being there so they could take her too from the beginnig and said she's so sorry she missed out all this time like years and years, though it's only really been a few days. And she really liked the cage patterns, like they're so cool! And she kept following them with her fingers but honestly it's just squarish metal bars, but she thought they're amazing! We were there for quite a while, like hours, hanging out with Sylvia while she tripped, and she wasn't scared or angry at all but just so incredibly happy to be there although it didn't really seem she understands so well where she is, or like she thought it was normal to be in a dungeon or something ? But after maybe three hours we left the dungeon and went up to our place and we all went in and showered togehter, which was very tight and kinda weird with the hobbles on but we managed to do it anyway because we love each other and it's easy to be patient and work tight spaces with people you love, plus it's so nice to rub together all soapy and warm. Sylvia thought the water is just phenomenal, like she kept looking at it and she was fascinated by how it flows on her hand or how the light looks through it.

Meron had a lot of very good foods set up for us like eight different kinds of fruit juice, not just OJ but peach nectar and apricot too and papaya mango mix and cranberry and I don't remember what else. Sylvia thought they're just completely amazing, she'd take a little sip and be like WHOA!!! and I think she peed like nine times and after the juices she was all into like, chewing tobacco and she'd eat like, a single peccan nut, and be just blown away by how great it tastes! And she said Doll's nipples taste like almond and then we had her try all our nipples and she came up with crazy shit like sisi tastes like butterfly and dogslave like mango and Alana like cotton candy and Meron like green tea and mine she said taste like television! What sense does that make! But anyway we started calling sisi buttertits because of it and also because her boobs really are like butter. Then Sylvia told us all sorts of things about her childhood but I'm not going to write them down because I don't even know if they're made up or what, and some were pretty weird, and she kept telling us how much she loves us throughout and how happy she is that we saved her. But she was becoming more and more normal by now and she was starting to talk like herself and she asked us if we really were in a dungeon ?! And we said well yeah! But she said no, with her, earlier, and we said yeah babycakes! So she asked us how come, and we told her that the people drugged her with sedatives and put her in a flower box and flew her over to here, and then Alana came up with the idea to give her LSD before she wakes up and that's why she was tripping so bad, and now we're together. Sylvia was just like wow, I never had LSD before, and we asked her how did she like it and she said it was wild!

By now it was getting kinda late and we were all tired anyway so we told Meron that we don't really want any dinner or anything, and we'll go to bed early. dogslave asked if she may sleep with Sylvia and Doll but I said puppydog, don't you think they maybe want to be alone ? And Sylvia said no please let her, she doesn't bother us and I miss her sweet squirt so much! I said ok, and so I went to bed with sisi and Alana and we hugged and kissed our mouths together and talked a little and then went to sleep.

Continued >>

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Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Thursday, 12 November, Year 12 d.Tr.

Babydoll living dat pimp life

Wednesday September the 22th. Atomic eggs are bullshit by the way. They don't do anything. Sylvia and Doll were very nice to me and kept hugging me and nuzzling which is when someone pushes their nose into you like a cat. It doesn't do anything either so I guess it's ok. Then Doll said we are dropping Sylvia off on the way to my school first because she has work to do and Sylvia said nuh uh she is taking her car because she needs a car and Doll said to her you know I will come pick you up, I have nothing better to do with my time anyway and I think they were arguing and I never saw Doll that way. Then Sylvia said it is because she is a little bitch meaning Doll and that nobody likes her. And Doll started crying! So we both hugged her and we told her Sylvia was only kidding but Doll said she knows it's true. How silly is that!

Then they both got their cars! Doll has her hella cool convertible but Sylvia's car is stupid and small and it looks more like a shoe. So I was standing there like wtf and they were each in her car and then Doll put the blinker on and then Sylvia put the blinker on too and then Doll turned the blinker off and then Sylvia turned her headlights on and then Doll turned on her window wipers! They were so weird! And then Sylvia drove in front of Doll and parked there. And then Doll drove in front of Sylvia and parked there herself. And then they just kept going like that, I was standing looking behind like wtf ?! They just left me behind I thought they were taking me to school but I guess they decided to just go all the way to town by parking in front of each other.

I didn't know what to do, but I was thinking maybe go into the garage and get my bike and put the skateboard on the rack behind and put my rollerblading helmet on and go to school like that! But then they came gangbusters down the road, Doll was on the other side driving normally and Sylvia on this side driving in reverse the whole way! And they were honking and the blinkers were blinking and they blinked their headlights too and it was like a circus act! So then they stopped by me and I got into Sylvia's car and Doll turned her wheels left and right and left and right a while and then came and parked her car in front of Sylvia! And she backed up more and more very slowly until they were almost touched, and then she got out of her car and went into the house and got Dad's old car out of the garage and parked it right behind Sylvia and we were wtf is she doing !? But before she did all that I sold Sylvia look, you have to come with her car because we can't go in two different cars but she said nuh-uh, she is a professional woman and she needs to have her car and I told her it's a shitty car anyways and she said whatever, this is her other car, her good car is in Europe and besides this is electric. And I said so what and she said so it can go in reverse just as good as forward and I said oh and she said ha! And I said but it still sucks and she said she knows. But then I said I thought you loved Doll and she said she does so I asked her what is going on and she said she doesn't know.

So I got out of her car and got into Doll's car and she was like "sup Babydoll!" and puppyeyes and I said why are you such a little bitch Doll and she said she doesn't know. And so I asked her what's a little bitch and she said when you do bullshit things you don't even know why you're doing them and I said oh that's you right now and she said yeah. So I said Doll you have to go beg Sylvia to take your car and drive it and give her your car keys. Her eyes got all big and wet like she was going to start to cry but I said she's a professional woman, meaning Sylvia, and she needs a good car like this one because her car is kind-of bullshit and you don't need it anyway because you don't do anything. Doll starting crying and snotting out of her nose and said "Babydoll you are hurting me so much" and I said that's what you deserve you little bitch now go do it and she got the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car bawling widly and went over to Sylvia but Sylvia also went out of her car and hugged Doll and they came together like that propped like drunk people and Doll got in the back with me and Sylvia didn't even know how to drive manual but Doll told her how to put it in automatic and then I said kiss my hand Doll so she kissed my hands many times and I was like now say thank you Babydoll for taking my car away from me and she said it and was crying all quietly and sobbing and then I said Sylvia you have to take her with you and introduce her to people and Sylvia said Ok! and Doll was just looking at me kinda surprised and then I said why are you crying Doll, nothing has happened yet! And her mouth just opened and then they both starting laughing their asses off. They were still laughing when they dropped me off at school and they told me that they had a great time together and maybe Doll will be Sylvia's personal assistant from now on when she needs her to and she got a lot of samples of beauty things like three bags full.

Then at school I said hey Key! I'm going to enslave you and she said wut ?! and I said because your parents are poor and black you have to be my slave and she said that's not fair and I said it's just how it is and Chris said how come she can't be my slave and I said because your parents love you Chris and she said yes but they're so annoying she'd much rather they didn't and I said sorry baby and she said it's not fair and I said that's just how it is. Then Key said there's no slaves no more and I said of course there are and Key raised her hand and Mz Rice-Davies asked her yes Keysha, would you like to contribute to the discussion and Key said is it true that there are slaves today ? like little girls ? because they are black and poor ? and Mz Rice-Davies said that is a very good question and made the whole class about something with human traffic and little girls from Africa and Pakistan. It was very boring and eventually Key said I guess so huh and I said see ? And she asked me what is being enslaved and I said she has to do everything I tell her to and she said but Babydoll, I was already your slave and I said yes Key but now you're going to live at my place and you will be my slave all day long not just a little. And her mouth opened and I thought Chris was going to cry but she kept whispering it's not fair it's not fair and Key said are you fo' real and I said yes when Doll comes pick me up you get in the car and be respectful to her. And I told Chris we can still be friends and she can come visit but she was very sad. So during lunch break I told Key to take Chris to the bathroom and make her have it and then she told me she tastes like soap.

Then after school Doll's car was there and we got in and Key was very shy and kept looking down but Doll wasn't there because Sylvia was driving her car. So I said where's Doll and she said she's playing with your Dad and I said this is Key, I enslaved her. And Sylvia asked o yeah, how come ? And I said tell her Key and Key said very softly that it's because her parents are black and they are poor and it's an ancient tradition in Pakistan and in Africa. And Sylvia said oh good, one should always be respectful of traditions just as long as they're not your own and Key said yes ma'am and I said what are you doing sitting on the seat Key, you'll get it dirty! And I made her ride kneeling in the space the whole time, and I told her to rest her head on my sneakers and she did. She looked very good and funny like that, almost like she were a puppy so I said to Sylvia she looks just like a big puppy! And Sylvia steered the car suddenly and I asked her whoa! and she said hang on I got an idea. We went to the pet store on the way over and we bought leashes and doggy collars which made no sense but Sylvia was very excited and I didn't want to say anything but then in the car I asked her I said you know Sylvia we don't have any dogs and she said that's what you think and I thought maybe Dad got some puppies or something ? But after we got home Sylvia got out of the car in a big rush and started talking all her clothes off quickly and said come on Key, strip and then she said to me "put a collar on her" and then she was naked and grabbed a collar and put it on herself and put the leash on it and ran off.

I asked Key hey would you like to be my little puppy dog ? And Key said Ruff! Ruff!! and she licked my face, with her tongue. Ew! So I told her to kneel down and I got the prettiest collar on her neck but not too tight and then put the leash on it and I walked her to the pool. Dad was there by the pool sitting on a chair and Doll sat on the chair next to him at the table but she was naked and Sylvia was kneeling next to Doll and Doll had her leash in her hand. So I walked Key all the way to them and I said Daddy, look what a cute little puppy! Can I keep her Daddy ? Please can I keep her ? Please Daddy! And Keysha said Ruff! Ruff! and then held her tongue out and panted like a doggy. And Dad said "Well, are you going to take good care of her ?" And I said "Yes Daddy, oh yes I promise!" and he said alright then, she can sleep in your bed with you. And I was like "Yeah!" and Sylvia crawled over to Key on all fours and started sniffing her like dogs do but Doll pulled on her leash and Sylvia ran off back to her and kneeled at her feet. Then Doll got a little icecream on the spoon from the bowl in front of her and threw it on the floor, it landed sorta close to the pool and Sylvia ran over there on all fours and licked it off the ground and then came back to Doll and groveled at her feet and rolled over just like a doggy. Then Doll got a larger bit and threw it kinda closer to Key and I pushed her a little on the hip so she crawled over there real quick and started to lick the icecream off the ground but Sylvia also came and started pushing Key away with her face and trying to lick at the icecream but Key growled and showed her teeth and Sylvia was just playing with her like a small puppy dog and then kissed Key and licked the icecream off her lips.

I said "Daddy I'm going to my room" and Dad said "take your puppy with you" and I said Here Keysha! and we went upstairs. And I asked her how does she like being my slave and she said is this fo' real ?! And I said I think so, Daddy said he was going to buy her from her parents and she said Whoa! and I said yeah, this is your life now. And she said "your place is so cool..." and she was going to say Babydoll but then she said Ma'am instead and looked down with her eyes and I said "who's the boss of you ?" and she said "you are Ma'am" and I said "what are you ?" and she said "I'm the dog slave that used to be Keysha Ma'am". And I said haha, that will be your naked name now Key! You're dogslave! And she said I don't want to be Keysha anymore and I said you still have to wear it in school and things and she said "I'm still going to school ?!" and I said yeah of course, I have to keep an eye on you. So then she kept quiet for a little bit and then said "Are you going to make me whore out ?" and I said "what do you call all this ?" and she said no but she means gangbangs and stuff. And I asked her what is a gangbang and she showed me on her phone. You couldn't see very well because her glass is broken but a gangbang is when a lot of men all push themselves into one girl, it's scary. But I don't think Keysha thought it was scary I mean dogslave, because she was getting very antsy and she was very wet and when I kissed her she had it instantly. And she said oh Ma'am you shouldn't kiss dogslave down there and I said why not and she said I should let her go without for a very long time so she misses it very much and I said but Key, I love kissing you and making you have it and she curled around and pushed my panties out of the way and started kissing me wildly.

Thursday September the 23th. Sylvia was making breakfast and Dad was there too with Doll and Key also but she was naked and she had her dog collar on because she had slept with it on, she just curled at my feet and I think I kicked her a bunch of times because I remember her kissing my feet all night and I asked her what is she doing she said she is kissing my foot and when I asked how come she said because I kicked her. But I didn't mean to. And we were talking about yesterday and how crazy they were and Dad just laughed and laughed and I kept telling it over and over. Then we were like ok, let's go to school, except Sylvia was staying home to do the floors and the bathrooms and serve Dad but Dad was like "she can't go like that" because Keysha was still completely naked. So I told her to get back into her clothes from yesterday and Dad was like hm and I said "it's ok Dad, she's poor, nobody will notice anything" and Dad looked at Doll and said take them shopping on the way back and she said Yes Master. And Key smiled, she just looked so happy she beamed, and maybe somebody else could think it was because of the shopping, but I knew it was because she saw Doll call Dad Master like that. And I knew they'll be best friends.

School was boring and Chris was sad but I told her I'm going to ask Doll to get her parents to let her come spend the weekend again, but she said she doesn't think they'll let her. Keysha wore her dog collar in school but nobody said anything, I guess maybe they didn't know what it was or what it was for because I didn't have the leash on it. Then Sylvia picked us up in Doll's car and I was like hey wtf you doing with Doll's car but she was like Babydoll, you gave it to me, remember ? and I said nuh-uh and she said ok I stoled it. This is Grand Theft Auto. and she started driving funny. Then we went to the mall because Dad said we should buy dogslave clothes and I asked her what clothes would you like ? And she said maybe a pair of jeans if that is ok ? And I said I do not think that is ok and Sylvia shook her head and said that is not ok either. So then dogslave said we could go to salivation army and they have pants there and they're not expensive but I looked at Sylvia and I said I have never heard of this starvation army store. So we took her to Gucci and first thing we bought her this gold dress which looks so good on her because she is so athletic and beautiful that Sylvia said she looks better than anyone she knows and Sylvia knows a lot of people. Then we bought her more things there and then we went to Neiman and we bought her seven pairs of jeans one for each day plus a bonus pair whichever she wants and she was just like someone hit her in the head, poor dogslave, was just wandering around like a zombie saying "omg this is worth more than my life" and clutching different clothes from her bags. And we also bought her leather pants and tights and we bought more dresses and shoes not just sneakers either but even a pair of golden shoes with high heels and in the end Doll's car's trunk was completely full and we went to have steak because Doll said tomorrow morning dogslave is starting on whore pills also because it would be a pity not to realise all her potential which means like miss out but it's fancier to say. And dogslave had to eat her steak just as raw as ours but she had no problem with it maybe because she really is a dog really.

Then when they brought the bill they said sorry but this credit card was declined ?! So Sylvia was like oh girls, let me buy you lunch! And got out her card and paid for it. And I asked her hey are you rich ? And she said I used to be, but now your Dad owns me and I own nothing I just work for it. And I said just like a whore ? And she said exactly Babydoll! And dogslave sighed and said I wish I could do that but Sylvia patted her hair on her neck and said don't you worry pretty baby, you definitely will soon enough. And dogslave smiled at her and kissed her hand. I really like how she kisses hands and feet and parts of people like that, I have to tell her it is very good and it makes me happy with her.

Just as we got home the delivery truck of mail was leaving, and the hallway was piled with boxes so we were like wtf there is no room now to bring stuff in from the car but Doll was like "I did a little shopping online" dollangelface. So we all went naked and I introduced Key to Sylvia properly, and then I said "Sick 'er, bitch" and dogslave went right for Sylvia's spot and I said "Whoever makes the other have it first gets icecream" but Sylvia spun Key around and sat on her face and made her in like thirty seconds and then kept doing it to her until poor Key was a wreck. And Sylvia said she never had black cherry before and Dad was like she's a virgin ? and Sylvia said Yes Sir and Dad said hey Babydoll, that's a fine young bitch you've got yourself there and I said "Thank you Daddy" because he got her for me but then he said "How about you sell her to me ?" and I was like wtf and I said Daddy please don't take my dogslave away she's so good! And he said what about for a lot of money and he had a huge pile of moneys in his hand like thicker than a thumb and Doll and Sylvia were looking at me and I said please Daddy, I love her. So he said alright then, but is it ok if she plays with my bitches ? And I said sure Daddy, she should be a whore for Doll and for Sylvia all the time. And they were like yay! But then I said and she can have Doll's car. And Doll was WTF SHE IS TWELVE but Sylvia was laughing and Doll figured out I was just messing and she got really mad because she's so sensitive about her car but she didn't let on but she pretended like she's fake mad because omg it's the only thing I have worth anything and I don't ever do anything and stuff but you can always tell when it's not real.

Then we unpacked what all Doll had ordered and it was many collars and Dad said he'll pick collars for Doll and Sylvia and have a ceremony later but he said I can pick one for Keysha meaning doglsave right away if I want but I said I don't know but I'll think about. Then Doll got out a bunch of slave jewels, very many, and they were all silver. Because she said I'm the only princess in this house and only I get golden stones everyone else is lesser whores and they have to wear the inferior stones for themselves and she looked at Sylvia and Sylvia said I am just a lowly whore and Babydoll is the only princess in this house. And then dogslave said Ruff! Ruff! and we all laughed. I wonder why they think I'm the princess. Maybe because nobody can really make it with me. Except for dogslave. But the stones were hella cool, there were a bunch that were normal like mine and Doll's but different sizes, and Doll said she didn't get me any because mine fits snug but she has to go up because she's a loose slut and then we had to have Sylvia and dogslave fitted with slavestones for themselves. Doll got a larger one and Sylvia asked her if she can try her old one and Doll said no you should have a green stone because you're a jealous troublemaking bitch and everyone should know but Sylvia said Babydoll please tell her to make me wear her old slave stone and I said you have to kiss it first and Sylvia ran off to the bathroom and came out with the jewel part covering her lips because she had the stone part in her mouth and I said Doll let her have your old stone it's too small for you because you're such a loose slut and Dad laughed and Doll got fake mad and she said Babydoll why do you always give her all my things and I said because she has a real career and is successful and she bought me lunch.

So then everyone was quiet like shit was going to go down and Sylvia was like oops and then mumbled something and Dad said what ? And Sylvia took Doll's stone out of her mouth and said "we overdrew the card" and was all shy and looking down. And Dad asked what the hell did you buy and dogslave said "Everything. They picked some things here and there and gave them to the shop person and they said would you like to buy these and they said no, those you can keep, we're buying everything else. And then they bought a truck to carry it all." and Doll was wtf, I didn't know the bitch can talk and I was like ha-HA! and Sylvia said "Babydoll, this dog bitch of yours is SINGING" and jumped on her and started tickling her which I had no idea dogslave tickles so bad but she was having fits on the floor with Sylvia on top of her and then SHE PEED! And Dad was like Fuck! The carpet! and the carpet was like Slurp! Yum! and it was gone. But dogslave was very sorry about it and apologized but Dad said Babydoll you have to pottytrain your puppy! and I said Yes sir and Doll said hang on we're not there yet, we still have to do the trainer jewels. Because there were a lot of slave stones that were not the normal shape but with patterns on them and very large. Some were huge! And I was kinda looking at them I think because Doll said these aren't for you Babydoll except maybe one day when you don't feel like a Princess can try them a little but Dad said maybe later and Doll continued "when you grow older." Which really is ok by me! So Sylvia put Doll's old stone inside of her and then they fitted dogslave with a small one but it was really not snug at all and so they tried one a little bigger but it was still loose and then when they found one that fit just right it was larger than Doll's! And they looked at her and Doll said what have you been doing dogslave! And she got very quiet and shy and she wouldn't say anything and I said answer her dogslave! and she said that she sometimes when she makes herself have it she also puts things inside there. And Sylvia said like what, like your fingers ? And dogslave said sometimes. So Doll asked and some other times ? She didn't want to say at first, but then she said she puts her older sisters' vibrator inside sometimes at night when she doesn't deserve to sleep all night and just lets it hum inside and keep her up all night.

Everybody was just wow but dogslave said at first it was the electric toothbrush, but then that was too small. I said hey dogslave, how about let's see then which of these you can fit in, and dogslave could do pretty much all of them except two or three that were really really very thick and long, and of course way more than Sylvia who can barely put in a few of the smaller smoother ones. Doll did ok but she was nowhere near my pup. Dad just shook his head and said Aaaalright, take her upstairs, meaning I should take dogslave to my room, but Doll said Daddy, let me sit in your lap while Babydoll disciplines these two guilty bitches ? I don't know why she said that because I didn't think Dad was upset with either Sylvia for the shopping or dogslave for the carpet neither was I, but Dad didn't say anthing so Doll just climbed sort-of on top of him and he just laid back and she was sort-of slow dancing. Then she was biting her lip and she said Babydoll, do them like you did me that day. So I started towards the upstairs to get belts but Sylvia opened up a package and called me. She was holding a thing like square leather with a tinner end and she winked at me. It was kind-of interesting really, I was curious how bad it hurt. She opened more stuff and gave me a pair of very tall very smooth boots and she said put them on Princess and so I did but you have to pull them up almost to your butt. And then she gave me more things to beat people with, and she grabbed hold of dogslave and they just stood like that face to face like they were dancing. I tried to hit Sylvia with the thing a few times but it didn't work out, so then I got mad and did it hard and whoa! She started crying and said thank you Princess Babydoll! between sighs and then I hit dogslave and then Sylvia again and then I also did it with other things and they were beaten real real bad, especially Sylvia because I hit her harder. Then I went in between them and we all hugged together and they kissed my cheeks and cried and cried on me until my hair was wet like I had been in the pool! And Doll said to Sylvia "now you know who the Princess is."

I said Daddy, Daddy, let them beat me too! but Daddy didn't say anything so I got down on my knees and with my face on the carpet and dogslave came and curled next to me and put my head on her chest and caressed my face and then I felt Sylvia strike me the first time. Whoa! And then she beat me more and more and I was kissing dogslave and crying and then Sylvia came over and hugged me too and said to dogslave now it's your turn but she didn't want to do it and said she will never hit me no matter what and we went to my room and then Sylvia left us alone and dogslave just kissed my ass everywhere where it was sore and made me have it and kissed my ass all over again and made me have it again and she said that nobody beat her so bad in her whole life and she is really happy it was me. But I was crying saying she didn't deserve it and she said of course she did. She said she deserves anything I do to her because she loves me that way. And she said even if I never whore her out to gangbang it's ok because she just wants to be my bitch puppy dog. Then much later Doll came upstairs to kiss us goodnight and said she is so sorry she got us beat and she doesn't know why she said that but sometimes she gets freaky and she doesn't think things through and I said it's okay, I am happy they hurt me, and I told her instead of kissing goodnight I want her to spank my ass, where it is beaten the worst especially and dogslave held my face into her stomach all tight so I couldn't yell out and Doll spanked my ass where it hurt the most with her hand. And then we went to bed.

Continued >>

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Princess Babydoll and the snotty bitch club. »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Sunday, 01 November, Year 12 d.Tr.

Babydoll goes back to school

Monday September the 14th. Doll gave me my whore pill and then asked what I would like for breakfast. I said eggs and she asked which kind. I said dogg eggs. I don't know why I said that. She said there's no dogg eggs, there is only poached, fried, omelet, scrambled, sunny side up and other kinds. I said then ok tree eggs. She said yo cwaaazy Bebbehdowl and made fire under the pan. I was all in her face like wut! are you doing Doll! and she showed me how to make treegg breakfast. First you put fire under the pan on big. Then you put a little bit of butter in. Then you open the bacon pack, backon is long and dark red with white on the side. That is the fat. It is on the belly of the pig girl like on my belly and your belly too! If you read this and you are not Doll you should know you are fat and gross! You put in as many strips as you want. You have to be honest about it because for instance I sad nineteen and if you make that many then you can't eat them and have to throw it out and some kids starve of hunger in Africa. I asked her if it's really little pig girls they cut up and get the bacon from but Doll said really it's mostly the pig boys. What a good idea! Then you let the bacon crisp as much as you want. And if you want you can turn it on the other side with the spatula. It's like the backon is tanning itself in the pan! Then you take it out on a plate and you break the eggs on the pan and just kinda dump them in. You have to be brave and hit them hard enough to break them though. Doll said people didn't use to know about this, until one guy from Germany whose name was Hitler discovered that you have to break the eggs in order to make omelet. Then people figured out that as long as you break the eggs, you can make other things besides omelet too. Good idea because omelet is kinda gross. While the eggs sizzle you can put papricka on them which makes it treegg breakfast. Or you can put garlic if you want. This is the best part of cooking breakfast on the stove, you can do all sorts of things only if you want to. Doll said before feminism liberation women didn't get any choices or options but that was long ago. Now we can do whatever we want with the stove. I heard about feminism before but I had no idea how important it was. Doll says the big importance is to try them out, so from now on for breakfast I'm going to put other things besides papricka or garlic on eggs and see. I will have to come up with names for them all too. Good thing I have my journal, I will write down all the liberation feminist breakfasts there are!

Then Doll took the pan off the fire. I said but Doll, the eggs aren't cooked yet! She said they're better this way. Gross! She said we have to practice our swallow. So we had to eat runny egg and lick it off the plate too. Really they taste pretty good, but don't tell anyone. Don't ruin it for them, they're even better if you think they're gross but you have to eat them anyway because you're a woman. It makes me happy just thinking about it. Then Doll said Babydoll, I've got something for you. I said oh Doll, are we engaged ? Because she put a little box on the table in front of me like a ring. I opened it up. There was no ring inside. Instead there was a big beautiful pink precious stone, with a golden tear bubble. It looked HUGE. It was pretty heavy, too. I held it you know, with the jewel of it coming out between my fingers in my fist. I said oh thank you Doll, I'm going to show everyone at school! Because tomorrow school starts. She said no silly, you can't show this to anyone. This is your secret slave stone. Anyone who sees it knows you are a slave, and if you give it to them you give yourself to them. You have to keep it a secret, ok Babydoll ? I couldn't go on if you gave it to someone else. I can't lose you Babydoll! I started crying and I kissed her again and again, and I promised I won't give it up to anyone and I'll always hold it tight in my fist. She said oh, it's not for your fist. I asked her what do you do with it, and she said you put it in your butt! It's true, too! The jewel part stays out and the bubble part goes inside your butt. Then your butt hole squeezes around and holds it inside. You can feel it move when you move quickly and also when you sit down. It's pretty cool. We went to shower and put it in. Doll had one for herself too, but hers was silver and larger. I asked why is hers larger ? And she said because she's older she has to start higher. I asked her how come and she said because when you are older men make your butthole larger and you are looser in the butt. I asked her but not boys right and she said oh no, absolutely not boys. Thanks goodness! Then she opened the jar of Vaseline, put a little on the sharp part of the bubble, reached around herself and kinda winced. I asked her if it hurts ? And she said a little. I got a good dollop myself but Doll said no, just use a very little all over the bubble, thinly. Then I tried to put it in myself. You have to push to get it in, and your butthole squeezes shut very hard. But you have to be patient and relax and tell yourself a real woman will swallow anything anywhere. That's the important part. You have to will yourself to take it in, and then it goes in suddenly, like you sucked in with your butt. It looks hella cool too! I now have a jewel instead of a butthole. I am better than anyone! Slavery is the best thing! I asked Doll how come hers is silver when mine is golden, and she said because she is more inferior than me. I said that's damn straight! And don't you forget it! And she said I'll never forget it Babydoll, though I was only kidding. I told her I was only kidding too but she didn't believe me. How silly is she, Doll is the best and she doesn't even know that.

Then we were going to take our buttstones out shopping for school stuff, but just as we were going out the door I had to poop like crazy! Doll said it's the stone, and I have to grab it and ease it out nice and easy on the toilet. Careful not to drop it. I did and also pooped a little and it was poopy all over! Grosssssss. Doll said that's how it goes, and it smells bad too, and I have to wash it very well and put it in the box until tomorrow. She said you may put it in only once a day, and once you poop it has to go out. I was so sad! Now I have to go shopping with a normal butthole just like everyone! That's just terrible! Doll told me that if you practice with it then after a time you can take it out clean without any poop. But of course you have to take it out before you need to poop for that. So you have to take it out early, which is bullshit. I told her I don't want to take it out at all, I just want it in me all the time. She said you can't do that, Babydoll, your butt has to do other things besides you being a slave. She said a girl can only have the slave stone in her butt a little each day. That's the saddest thing in the world. They should invent a real feminism, none of that chicken egg bullshit. They should invent a feminism where you can keep the slave jewel in your butt all day long!

So we went shopping for pens especially colored and notebooks and smelly erasers and everything needed for school. Doll was the whole time walking next to me with her slave stone in her butt, and I was walking next to her the whole time like all the other losers. Just a normal girl with a normal girl butt. I was so upset, it even made me cry once. Who's inferior now! I said to her. I hated my butt for ruining my shopping for me. I told Doll I hope to hell a man breaks the shit out of it! But she told me it's not at fault, that it's how it goes and it is normal the very first time. She told me I have to be patient and love it because it is just a small little girl butt trying to do what's best, and it doesn't know better. I have to teach it, little by little and patiently. Then it will do very good and make me proud! I never realised this before! I guess I never thought about it that way. But if you think about it yes, I have a little girl butt that doesn't know things and I have to teach it little by little and with patience and love it. Like drawing, or saying French, your tongue doesn't know how to go. You have to practice and be patient! It makes me so happy and proud to be a slave girl and be with Doll and learn so many things all the time about myself and everything! Too bad school starts tomorrow.

Tuesday September the 15th. We made frogg breakfast which is eggs with organ-o on them. It isn't very great but when you try things some work out and some don't. Doll told me. She also said we need more supplies for breakfast research, and that she'll pick me up after school and go shopping for raw materials. Doll makes everything like a computer game.

At school as I was going in I ran into Christine. We knew each other from my birthday. She gave me a very big hug and she told me she missed me so much and that she was thinking about me the whole time. Christine is very pretty. She has long curly hair and she has big brown eyes and long eyelashes and her mouth is all curly and sweet. I held her hand and we went to class together. We were going to sit together but then in class we ran into Keysha. They knew each other from gymnastics and of course we were friends from my birhtday. I said Key don't you start with her, I thought you were my friend. She said "I am, and we're sitting together!" Chris started to cry and held really really tight on my hand. Keysha got really angry and said about Chris "That lucky bitch! Everyone likes her and nobody likes me!" and she was going to cry too but then I hugged her and I whispered in her ear that I like her very much, and please don't cry because she's strong and brave and not that kind. This made Chris cry even harder and Keysha pouted her pretty lips and said what difference does it make anyway, I'll sit with Chris anyway, she knows it. Then I got the idea! I said no, look, there's spare desks in the back, we'll put two together and seat all three of us! She looked over and I could see she gets it because her eyes got so happy! She ran over there and we put two desks together and I was in the middle and Chris on the left and Key on the right. Then the other kids saw what we did and started doing it like that too, when the teacher came in the whole room was re-arranged. So she asked us, "what happened here ?" and everyone was like angel faced "wut ?" like nothing happened, and she didn't say anymore. Then Algebra was easy, English was easy, Earth Science was bullshit and in Social Studies we watched some stupid movie. French was great though, the teacher said I made so much progress I'm almost like a little French girl. Chris and Key looked at me like I was Doll or something.

After class Chris said she always dreamed to go to Paris, and I said if Daddy takes me I'll beg him so she can come along too! She smiled so big she was like Mr. Kermit and then she said that if her Daddy takes her she won't even go unless I come too. Then Keysha got really sad and she said her momma ain't ever gonna take her as far as the state line, and I said don't worry Key, I'm only saying I'll take her, but really I'll take you not her. Who wants smelly Chris anyways! And Key started laughing and Chris was crying with four hands and I was laughing too and I said to her hey Chris, even if I don't take you because I like Key better you're still going to tell your Daddy you won't go unless I get to come too, right ? And she was sobbing but she said yes she would and we were laughing at her and I said to Kay we'll make Chris our slavegirl and make her do anything we want. And Chris stopped crying and was just looking at us with her red eyes all big like Really ?! and I hugged her and I said don't worry babycakes, we all love you and we'll just go all three together that's all. And I am totally going to beg Daddy to take us to Paris for spring break. I'm sure Doll would love it too, and especially would love to beg with me for it, but it would be better if it were a surprise for her so how can I make it that it's a surprise and she also gets to beg for it with me ?! And now I can't show Doll my journal anymore either, because if she reads here she finds out about Paris. What can I do ?

I've decided I just won't show it to her, unless she asks to see it. And I just won't tell her about Paris, unless she says something first. Then afterwards I'll tell her it was really up to her, she just did not know about it at the time is all. What a genius idea!

I forgot to write about the shopping yesterday but I am writing now and it is okay. Doll came to pick me up and the girls said Hi! and I said isn't Doll the greatest and most cool and they were Hell yeah! and Doll blushed and blinked and said thank you girls, and took a twirl and said thank you very much! in a low voice and Chris and Key clapped their hands and it was great. I asked her in the car how did she get the idea to do that ? And she said it's not so much an idea as it is something people learn from experience seeing others and she asked me if I knew the voice and I said no so then she played it for me, it's an old guy named Elvis and she sounded nothing like it but I didn't tell her that. But Elvis is pretty good I will have to remember to look this up when I have some time. Then we went to Andronico's which is like a special Wholefoods and. we. bought. everything. Do you know people smoke things, by the way ? Not like cigarettes but I mean like foods and then you eat them! They're great and also did you know there is salmon slices you can just eat like that ? And also did you know how many kinds of cheese there are ? There are more kinds of cheese than there are kinds of girls! There's hang on I will copy all the names now. Parmegiano Reggiano. This is like a chunk and very good. Burata. This is soft like a cream more than anything. Mimolette. This is French and orange. I think maybe because the French are on the beach tanning all the time. Gouda. This is very good and Doll says Dutch which is another country in Europe. Schweizer. This is from Switzerland and I think my favourite you should try it. Actually no, Gouda is my favourite, you should try that too, but this is also very good. The craziest cheese is Camambert though. This cheese smells so bad it is the worst smelling thing ever, like if I don't even want to describe it will gross me out. But it tastes very good! And Doll was of course so, so right all along! The important thing for a woman is to swallow anything, no matter how terrible. Because many good things seem very bad until you swallow them. And if you don't like it you don't have to do it anymore. But you have to do it the first time to find out. I would have never figured this out in time if it weren't for Doll!

There is also Pecorino Romano. It is different and kind of weird. Cheddar but that is kinda bullshit but Doll said we just keep it around for when we make breakfast for normal square people or noobs or civillians, so we have something to give them too. Lindburger. This is okay. Danish Blue is sticky but crumbly and very good but Doll says it has mold in it. People eat it though! Mozarella. This is nice and soft but Doll says it's easy to eat too much of it. She says the important thing with cheese is the taste and you should always cut it very thin or grate it and taste it, but not eat very much because it makes women fat. So we just put a little grated on the eggs or so but not eat whole chunks of it like rednecks. Then are also all the meats, that is crazy, salami like this, pastrami like that, there are so many different kinds I will have to experiment with them all, and also like six types of bacon and we also have fish like I said salmon and also breakfast cocktail shrimps and I'll have to write more about this later because it's just too much.

Thursday September the 16th. Doll put salmon slices on special crackers with precorino grated on it and arugugla which is a sort of leaf that's bitter but it makes the whole very good. It's true too, you should try it for yourself because it was my best breakfast yet!

School was boring and what's worse uninteresting, except that after 2nd period I asked Chris if she masturbates. She said no of course not but I said to her I said "I bet you do." and she blushed and I said like in the shower maybe, or in bed at night sometimes. But she said she never did and asked me how does it go ? So I grabbed her hand and took her to the bathroom and we went in a stall. I sat down on the toilet seat and I told her to push her pants down all the way and then sit in my lap. She did but she asked me isn't it dangerous ? And I said just a little. So she was kinda hesitant because she's such a chickenshit and she asked me but does it hurt ? And I said to her I said oh yes it hurts. You'd better believe it Chris, it hurts lots and lots and lots. So she started trembling a little and I said grab your knees around and hold them up to your chin but she wouldn't do it and she said she's afraid. I told her it's very good that she's afraid, but she has to do it anyway because she loves me. I was going to tell her that if she doesn't do it we can't be friends anymore, and I'll tell Key too, but I didn't have the time because she grabbed her knees tight and she stopped breathing. So I reached around her ass and touched her right there all soft and she sighed very deep and like she was trembling when she did it and then I rubbed her like if I was rubbing myself and she tensed up very much and could barely hold her knees in she was bucking so hard. I always stop for myself, but with her I didn't want to stop, so I just kept rubbing her all through, and do you know what happened ? She did it again! I have to try this for myself, not stopping just going on and on and on. She kept going and she was so tensed up from all the bucking she was sweating and she kept begging me but it wasn't clear what. She just said "Oh please, please..." like maybe she wanted me to keep doing it to her or maybe she wanted me to stop doing it. I asked her afterwards and she said she didn't know what she was begging for either. So I guess nobody knows then.

After I let her go she couldn't even stand up, so I let her sit on the seat. My hand was covered in some white stuff and I went to smell it but she was like "Oh my god don't smell that! That's terrible!". Really it smelled more like Danish Blue than anything, and I asked her what the hell it is and she said it's from her don't I get it too ?! And I said of fucking course I don't get chunks out of me, what the hell, doesn't she ever wash ?! And she said you're not supposed to touch down there, and I said of course you're supposed to touch it! How else can you wash it ? And she said she doesn't know and was very ashamed of herself and I told her I'm totally telling Key about this but she begged me not to please and I said okay Chris, I'll keep your filthy kitty secret but you have to be my slave and do anything I ever tell you to do. So she looked up at me and she said "But Ash... I already do anything you tell me to." So I asked her "Always ?" and she said "Always!" and I asked her "Do you swear ?" and she said "I promise" so I said "But do you swear ?" and she said "I promise and I swear!" After that we went to class because 4th period just started, but they told us Mrs. Stone didn't do rollcall or anything and asked us where we were so I said I had a very difficult poop. Then Key asked me for real and I told her we were in the stall and I showed Chris how to masturbate. She just looked at me and said "Dayum!" So then I said "But she's not allowed to do it by herself, only if she has permission from either me or you. Isn't that right Chris ?" and Chris got all red and nodded yes. Then out of the blue after a minute Key asked "do I have to ask permission too ?" and I said "of course!". I don't know why I said that, but she said "from you ?" and I said sure. She just shook her head side to side, and I patted her pretty hair down. Then after period I had an idea, I said "Hey girls, would you like to come hang at my place ?" and they said hell yeah!

when Doll showed up I told her the girls want to come hang out, and she was cool but she said they should probably call home and ask. Keysha said hell, they don't care if I never come back, but Doll said she should call anyways. Then she took Chris's phone and said "Hello, this is Ashley's step mother. Yes, it would be okay. I'll drive Chris back home before eight. Sure. Sure. No trouble at all. Good bye!" Doll always knows how to set things up, but it was so strange to hear her not call me Babydoll for once! It was the first time, and it felt weird, like maybe she doesn't like me anymore. Keysha told her mom Doll's bringing her home later and I said to Doll I said "You don't love me anymore ?" and Doll said "Of course I love you Babydoll" and Keysha asked why is she calling me Babydoll and I said that's my naked name, Ashley's just clothes. That blew their minds, and me and Doll made fun of them a little, like "oh, you don't even have naked names ?!?!" like they were little girls or something. It's so much fun how Doll can just pick up the ball and run with it, she's the best to have on your team. So Chris and Key said they want naked names too, and Doll said "well, you've gotta be naked for that". So we all took our clothes off and started horsing around and I told Doll the real reason I invited them over was because we have to practice our masturbation and Chris turned all pale and Key was all "wtf" but Doll was cool with it. Then when we got home and we just put our sneakers on to get inside and then we went up to my room and practiced. Then we took a nap and Doll made us another breakfast and then she took Chris and Key home. I did it once more for myself, and then I went to sleep. Doll came in later when she was back, and gave me a goodnight kiss.

Continued >>

« The diary of a baby doll.

Babydoll and Platonic ideals »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Friday, 30 October, Year 12 d.Tr.

Babydoll and the temporary nature of permanence.

Wednesday September the 29th. Today we're not going to school, because we are going to the funeral. It starts at 10 AM and it's kinda far to drive and so if we went to school we'd have to leave after an hour anyway. I could barely sleep because from now on Chris is going to live with us. I am so excited! Doll said it's temporary but so is Dad's custody, and everything else.

Doll was up early and she made a big mess in the kitchen, also there are pennants saying CANAPE WORLD. Canape is French and it basically means toast with stuff on it. Doll made like 500 of them and they are all different although it repeats of course but in combinations and it's like the breakfast egg idea only crazier. She even made some with real fish eggs which are many kinds like there's a big red one which are salmon eggs. I wonder what makes everything about salmons be so red. Maybe they eat a lot of carrots. There are also big black ones and small black ones but the big black ones are much better. Also there are dried ones and crab ones which are pretty good. Also cheese if you put it in the oven and it melts it's called fun-due. Because fun is due hehehe!

But the big news is not that! It is even bigger and I think much worse. Doll told us that she and Dad are having their ceremony Saturday, and it will be with collaring and beautiful! And we'll have to get dresses because me and dogslave and Chris too! are going to be her best maids and we are getting special best maids dresses and they will be the same but only mine better a little somehow though we've not decied how or even how they would look so we have to find something! And then the bad part : Sylvia is starting work for a big fashion show so she will be in Europe from Monday! Sylvia is leaving! I couldn't say anything when Doll told me but then I told her omg Sylvia can't leave! And she asked me why not ? And I said because she's not going to come back! Isn't it obvious ? And Doll said don't be silly Babydoll, of course she's coming back. And I said when and she said when her work is done. And I told her she can't let her go, what if she doesn't come back at all ?! And Doll said "Remember Babydoll about Sylvia having her own career and being successful ?" and I said yes and she said "Do you want to ruin that for her ?" and I said no, and then she said "If you make it difficult for her and she doesn't go, how can she have her career anymore ?" And it's right, I can see that, but anyway I want Sylvia to stay with us. But if she stays with us she can't work where she is going. It has to be one or the other. Why does there always have to be some problem! And Doll told me "Babydoll, don't make it hard for her to live her life." and I was shaking my head and she asked me "Do you love her ?" and I said Yes! and she said "Then let her go." And I sighed and sniffled and I didn't want to say, but I had to say it.

I said "Doll, is she leaving because you and Dad ?" and Doll just looked at me and said "Why don't you ask her yourself ?" but I could tell she's angry with me. I said "Doll, why are you angry with me ?" and she said "Because that's a rotten thing to say, that's why. I love Sylvia. I met her! You know that ? Weren't you there ? I brought her here in the first place, I told her to come, I introduced Daddy to her myself! I was there! I am not some jealous mom okay ?" and I said "I'm sorry Doll. I don't understand what grown-ups do like ever. Why are you making it difficult for me to ask questions ?" and she was like wtf and then she understood I said that because of what she said about making it difficult for Sylvia, because she was pissed off so it took her longer because angry people always think slower. She hugged me and she said she's angry but it's not with me, it's with everyone else, outside. I told her how sorry I am and that I know she's a lover not a green stoned bitch at all, nobody is as loving as she is not even me although I should be the Princess but she's the real Princess because I'm jealous like all the time. But she never is, not really. Doll just kissed my hair and I said it's true I have no idea what grown-ups do! Or why! Like the time Dad asked me the big question, he took me for ice-cream and I thought they broke up! And I told him if he pushed you away Doll I will never talk to him ever! But he was just like "wut ?! it's just ice-cream." and she said "Did you really say that ?" and I told her yes, because I do not want to live without her, and it will be very hard without Sylvia!

But Doll said "We'll make it work lovergirl. One day after the next." and then Sylvia popped in and she was like "hey! were you talking about me" and I said nuh-uh and Doll was like pointing fingers at me when I wasn't looking and then whistling with her eyes upwards if I looked and Sylvia said well ? and I didn't know what to do so I said "Sylvia are you leaving because Doll and Dad are getting married ?" and Sylvia said "Oh lord." and Doll said "Don't make it difficult for her to ask questions" and Sylvia said "What ?!" and dogslave ran over to her and hugged her and asked "Are you coming back Ma'am ?" and Sylvia said "Of course I'm coming back, it's only a three week gig!" And I asked "is it paying well ?" and Sylvia said "Enough to get a new car" and Doll winked at me because I am not allowed to tell anyone this except dogslave but dogslave won't tell anyone either. The big secret is that Dad and Doll are getting Sylvia a new car as their wedding present! And it's real cool, it's even better than Doll's. And Doll told me as part of the secret that after Sylvia gets back a little later I can just give it to Doll and make her give her the keys. Doll said "she's ready for some payback!". I told her of course I'll do anything she wants me to, she knows that and she was like "yay!" and I really wanted to kneel down and kiss her so hard but I didn't do anything.

Funerals are really stupid, just a few old people crying in a field. Why even do that ? It's like sad golf but without walking and golf sucks anyway. I think maybe a cow came up with all these ideas for funerals and golf because it's really just standing around in a field and that's what cows like to do. But I didn't complain because I was with Chris and I went and held her hand and we held hands the whole funeral, me and Chris and her mom. And then after the funeral her mom left with some people from their church because they are leaving their house! Because though it is a very small house they can not afford to pay rent for it because the way houses work is that some people build houses and then other people come and give them money to live in them every month and it is by how large the house is and Chris' house is too large for them now because they can not afford it!

I asked Dad how much does he have to pay rent for our big house and he laughed and said he doesn't have to pay anything and I asked how come and he said because it's Doll's house Babydoll and she just lets him live there. So then later I asked Doll how did she get the house and she said what are you talking about and I told her Dad said he doesn't have to pay rent because it's her house and she doesn't make him pay any rent although it's so big and Doll laughed and said Dad's tricking because it's not her house, it is his house. So I asked Dad again, he was in his office and he explained to me that there is a special paperwork which says who is the owner of a house or anything like that with land and I wanted to see it so he showed me and it said Mickey Mouse owns this house just kidding, it said Dad and I asked him why did he tell me it's Doll's and he said to mess with her and I asked because he knew I was going to ask her and he said yes and so I asked him how did he know that ? And he laughed at me and told me to go ask Doll which is bullshit. But I did ask her and she said it's because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I said that's nonsense Doll I don't even have any sleeves most of the time and she said it's an expression and I asked if it wouldn't hurt to wear your heart out of your body and she said I'll be finding out soon enough. Honestly I think Dad is messing with me and Doll too.

It was really great when we drove off with Chris from the funeral though! Doll was driving and dogslave was next to me and we were just like the first time in school except everything has changed so much! And it's only been two weeks ago! And I said this is just like first day of school huh! And dogslave giggled and I said Chris you have to be ready because this is the most important day of your life and she looked down and said "I know" and I said "take your clothes off!" and she did. Then dogslave was messing with her and said hey Doll Ma'am, there's a naked slut in the back here and Doll looked in the rearview mirror at Chris and was all fake surprised and shocked but Chris didn't know and Doll parked the car and asked her why is she naked and Chris said because she is a little slut and I was trying so hard to not laugh and I said to her this is very serious young lady! And Doll said she will have to get out of the car now and walk on the sidewalk and Chris started trembling and saying "please Ma'am" over and over again. But it wasn't clear what she was begging for and I asked her later now when I am writing the journal part and she said she doesn't know! I think Chris maybe just likes to beg just like that, not for getting anything. We'll have to practice together because I think this is a great trick to learn.

Then dogslave said may I be a naked slut too and I said sure dogslave and Chris asked what is that and I said it's her naked name. And then dogslave took off all her clothes and held on to my shoulders because she kept pushing her butt in Chris' face sorta all nonchalant which is in French and Chris didn't know what to do and kept looking up at me to see what she should do but I just looked back at her and eventually she went to kiss dogslave but she noticed her stone which is what dogslave was trying to show her but Chris didn't say anything and kept kissing dogslave's bud and everything like it's done. And I grabbed dogslave by the throat with both my hands and squeezed her until she turned all purple and Doll said carefull Babydoll don't do that too much! And I asked how come and she said it is very dangerous and I must always count bananas when I hold a girl like that or not let her breathe in any way and never count more than twenty at the most before I let her go again and not do it again for a while either! So I asked her how come and she said because the girl could die because this is how they execute people on death row by hanging, and also if she doesn't die her brain could be broken and she will be retarded because of lack of oxygen and I must be very careful with my whores. And I said ok Doll! and pinched Chris' nipples hard which always makes her squeal because they are very sensitive on her, almost as sensitive as mine. She was wiggling to get free and trying to beg me to let her go but she couldn't because I squeezed and twisted and I said to her you have to count twenty bananas Chris because that's how it's done and things like that and we had a lot of fun. Then dogslave cuddled all our feet and then we got home.

When we were home dogslave got out but Chris was kinda hesitant I think maybe because she was naked and I said I am the princess and you sluts have to carry me. But of course just dogslave and Chris can't carry me but Doll came and held my butt from behind and dogslave and Chris held hands under my legs and like that they could hold me easy like I was on a chair! But made of hands. And then they took me towards the house but didn't stop. They went all the way to the pool and then just threw me in! With my clothes still on! Everything was soaked even my sneakers! And they were just laughing and laughing and I pretended to be mad but nobody believed me and we just laughed and then we wanted to push Doll into the pool too but she kept running from us but eventually we got her and she wend DOWN!

Then I explained to Chris about slave stones and after lunch we fitted her with one which was easy to do because she could only fit the smallest one and it took her a long time because she said it hurts and Doll said to put it in slowly and not force herself too harsh. And we watched a Western movie which is the kind with horses and cowboys and I came up with an idea for a breakfast place for Western guys, which is you take a big umbrella like for the beach, and on the bottom there is a special rack all around it full with hay and above the rack there is a table with breakfast things and eggs. This way the cowboy people and their horses can have breakfast together! But we had to pause it to take our stones out because they were in long enough and it was starting to give colics which is what you call the belly pain. It is frolics when you play with your whores and have a good time and colics when you hold the stone in for too long, I have to remember this.

Then we did measurements for the ceremony outfits because Doll said we can order them online and they will be made out of the very smooth skin that's all colorful and stretchy. I really like that and Doll does too and dogslave loves it also, especially she likes to lick it, every time Doll puts on the boots that I beat Sylvia in dogslave begs me to let her go lick Doll's legs. And Doll said we will look very pretty in it because we are so tall and buxom and trim and I asked her what's buxom and she said with a big chest and ass and I said but Doll, only Chris has a big ass and dogslave a little and my boobs are kinda small but she said not everything must be the same all the time and I am very pretty also. I don't think so though, I mean I think I'm ok but I would much rather kiss dogslave or Chris than myself. Then I sat down to write my journal and the whores and Doll who is also a whore but she's Dad's whore played around the pool and then I said I am going to bed and Doll said please Babydoll, I am all alone, please give me a whore to sleep with me and I said ok! But which one ? and she said may I have dogslave because she rubs my feet so good and kisses them too! And I said ok go whore out with Doll dogslave but I said Doll don't keep her up all night because we have to go to school in the morning and she said "Yes Princess."

Then me and Chris went to bed and I held her thight and she cried a lot but then less and less and then whispered that it is so good to be in my arms to go to sleep because I am so loving and so warm. And I said "You're just as warm and just as loving Chris and I love being in your arms" and we just hugged and kissed our mouths together and fell alseep.

Thursday September the 30th. When I got up Chris was up already and was just holding me and when my eyes opened she kissed my mouth and my face everywhere and I said good morning whore! And she said good morning pimp master princess Babydoll the greatest! And I just closed my eyes again and pretended like I am asleep and snoring and then she was quiet and I opened my eyes again and she kissed my mouth and my eyes and my face again and said "good morning great princess beautiful queen Babydoll of all the world best ever" and I wanted to just close my eyes again because it is a pretty great way to wake up even if I was only fake sleeping the second time.

Doll and dosglave were up already and they were working together doing something which it turns out they were making fruit salad! And we had that with leftover canapes from the funeral and then Doll took us to school. In the car I asked her, so how was she ? meaning dogslave and Doll said oh Babydoll, she is the greatest whore I have ever been with! and puppydog was like "ruff! ruff!" all happy and I said so how much are you paying for that and Doll looked at me and said "what do I owe ?" and I said you have to take us shopping after school and I will tell you then. And Doll said Yes Ma'am.

School was boring, but I told dosglave I am very proud of her that she whored out so good with Doll and she said she is very proud of herself also and she will make me a lot of money whoring. And I said good because I'm spending it all on Chris. And Chris opened her eyes all big and I said because she is so much prettier and lovelier than you are and dogslave said "also because that bitch ain't got no clothes" and I said especially and I laughed and dogslave laughed too and Chris was going to start crying but held it in. Then later dogslave whispered in my ear that I should do that to her all the time because there is nothing better in the whole world than when I use her. And I said "shut up, bitch, and go clean my tray".

Then Doll picked us up and we went through all the shops and we bought Chris some things but not really a lot because she has her old school clothes from home and she doesn't really deserve a lot of good things yet plus she has the great purple dress. But we still bought her two dresses one is pale blue with the pin skirt and the ruffled armpits and the other is silvery and long and clingy like all the way to the floor and Doll said she can now start her own lounge act. I don't know what that means I will have to remember to look it up. Then we went to the special sasquatch shoe store and bought Chris silver heels to go with her silver dress and then we bought icecream.

The house is a bit of a mess because the people are building the gym but they work mostly while we are in school so it's not that bad. So we did some stuff for school and then we took a bath together in the big tub which is really just big enough for us and it was a lot of fun, we kissed each other peeing and then played dunking and it is true about it tasting like love because every time I taste their pee I feel like I love them crazy, dogslave and Chris both. I think it's the best drink in the world, and I love keeping it in my mouth too because if you do then afterwards you still taste it even though you've swallowed although it is different but in a very good way. Doll said we should not do this every day though I kinda want to. dogslave likes it too but she likes it more on her face and in her eyes especially or up her nose, but Chris doesn't like it so much although I think she is just shy about it for some reason and thinks it is bad to let herself like it, which is silly.

We went to bed together in my bed, which is very lovely because sleeping with my baes and whores and slavegirls and lovergirls and all they are is the best thing in the world, but it is very tight.

Friday October the 1st. Doll asked me if she may read my journal while we are at school ? Because she is lonely and she misses us girls and my journal is almost as good as if we were there and I said up to you bae, but there may be some surprises for you in it so consider it carefully. Then we ate breakfast of salmon and she took us to school.

We wasted all day in school doing some stupid bullshit presentation in the auditorium instead of normal classes, and we couldn't even seat together so it was just stupid. I hate school. I hate presentations most of all, they are so stupid! At least classes can sometimes get good, unless it's watching films or something stupid like that of course, or Social Sciences which is like doing crossword puzzles just wasting paper. I wanted to sneak off so bad, but the problem is dogslave was far away one way, Chris far away another way, and Doll didn't even know to pick us up. We have to work a system out from now on, that if there's one of these auditorium presentations or rallies or bullshits we just have a signal and we sneak out after roll call or whatever, and Doll knows to pick us up and we're outta there!

Eventually Doll came to pick us up and she told me you are supposed to say 1st not 1th and 2nd and 3rd but it doesn't count for 10 it's still 10th and 11th and 12th but the other numbers it's with st nd rd and they explained this in English too but I forgot. But I will do it like this from now on. And Doll said "You're such a Doll Babydoll" and then asked me if I was really going to beg Daddy to take us to Paris for Spring break and I said Hell yeah and she looked at me just like dogslave looks at me and my whores giggled because now we're really going to Paris together if Dad takes us. Then I said "you know Doll, you're just a lone whore with no pimp now" and she said "oh ?" and I said "you have to move into a spare bedroom". And she just looked at me and said "What will Dad say ?" and I said "Well, Dad only has one whore and I have two, so I get the main bedroom. Ha-HA!" and she looked a little sad but like she's gonna do it because she has no choice and I am right! Chris and dogslave were looking at me all quiet like whoa! and then once we were home we all went upstairs and I said "Yes Doll, you're now just a lone whore with no pimp and you have to beg us all forgiveness" and she went down on her knees and said "Oh young sluts please oh please have mercy on this sad old whore down on her luck!" but Chris and dogslave ran off to her and kissed her face and ears and hair and hugged her but I was dancing like ha-ha! And then Doll asked me "do I have to move all my stuff" and I said nah Doll, don't bother. It's only for a little while anyways and besides we like trying your things on.

Then we hung out watching films and dogslave rubbed Doll's feet and Chris was trying to learn how to do it so she rubbed my feet watching dogslave the whole time. It wasn't as good as dogslave does it, but I was looking at Doll and Doll was looking at me and then we would look at the whores at our feet and then at each other and it was the best time in the world. I leaned over and I kissed her mouth and I said Doll, I am having the best time in the world with you darling! And she said thank you Babydoll! And then I asked her "You miss Daddy don't you" and she just sighed. And then we went to bed.

Continued >>

« What can occur during a meanwhile ?

Babydoll and the happy surge princess »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Wednesday, 04 November, Year 12 d.Tr.

Babydoll and the happy surge princess

Saturday October the 2thnd. When I woke up I was hugging dogslave's butt. She had snuck herself in the middle between us although that is not how we went to sleep and she was sleeping with her face on Chris' boobs and Chris had her arms on dogslave's back and dogslave's butt was all round and like "sup! I am a butt!" Because she had her knees under herself kinda and was pushing it out. Her butt is so beautiful especially when you hold it like that because her little flower shows through her black thighs all pretty and colored! And her butthole is like a mouth kinda and her butt is the prettiest thing. I just wanted to kiss her right on her hole, and I did! It kissed me back! I did not know buttholes could do that, but dogslaves' can, and dogslave was trembling and she was pushing her butt more and more in my face. I think she was having a dream so I kissed her butthole again I think a few times and licked it and dogslave woke Chris up because she was squeezing her so tight and Chris pushed dogslave's hair away from her face to kiss her and then dogslave woke up and Chris kissed her and dogslave said good morning sister ma'am but Chris just kissed her and I kissed her too at the same time and licked her inside and dogslave was just trapped between us. Then I had the idea for a naked name for Chris!

I said Chris I know your naked name! You will be sisi! And Chris said how come and I said because you are her sister and because you are so shy and also because you are a princess and because you will do anything. And it made sense! But I don't know Chris knew all about it but she said yes Babydoll. dogslave was just trembling and I asked her dogslave, did you have a dream, but she didn't want to say.

When we went downstairs Sylvia and Doll were working together at the stove and I said Sylvia! and she said hey! Why did you kick Doll out you little bitch! And I said because I love her! And if you leave her all alone she should know her place! And they turned towards me and I saw they were tied together like in handcuffs! Sylvia's right arm was handcuffed to Doll's left arm and their feet too the same and there was a chain between the handcuffs too! So they could only move together and I said Doll what have you two done and she said they're just playing. But then the mail delivery came with things for the wedding like our best maid uniforms and they went and opened the door like that! And then they did for us the face of the guy with the delivery because it was so funny! Then we ate and I wanted to put on the things but Doll said no Babydoll, these are like the slave stones you can only wear them for a little bit at a time because your skin needs to breathe and if it can't you die of ass-fixya which is very bad. So I can't put them on yet which is bullshit.

Then I told them that I knew the naked slave name of Chris and dogslave knows too but they don't! And they tried to guess but didn't have a chance! Ha! And then I told them it's sisi, and Sylvia spelled sissy ? But I said no silly, sisi. And I told them it is because of the princess from long ago of happy surge but it's not really spelled like that but I don't want to go check right now and also because si is yes in Italian so she would be like princess yesyes because she always does anything we tell her to because she's just such a little slut. And Italian is a language just like French just so you know because I discovered when I was doing translations online that there are really many languages and they are all from a country from Europe and each country has a big city that is very old with many strange buildings but in Italian it is called Rome not Paris. And maybe we go one day.

But Sylvia said I am going next week and I was like whoa! but she said it's true. Really this is kinda bullshit. And what will I beg daddy for now ?! Because Rome might be even better than Pairs really, plus Sylvia is going. That is a special sign by the way when you put an exclamation and a question mark together it's like you're saying whoa wtf but it's much shorter. And also I said she's sisi because she's dogslave's younger sister even though really Chris is older than Key because her birthday comes first but it doesn't matter because in slaves it matters when you took your stone inside of you first. And that makes me the oldest slavegirl of them all, I am just as old as Doll is because we put our stones in together and that was the first time in the whole house and everyone should respect us! Which they do very much. Then Doll said "and also a bit of a sissy" and Chris got all red and said "yes ma'am" and we all laughed at her. But later I showed sisi the real princess sisi from long ago and she was princess of Austria and everyone loved her very much because she was just like Chris only Chris is prettier.

Then I said dogslave, you have to tell everyone what your dream was this morning and dogslave didn't want to but I said dogslave, if you don't tell I will not let you be in Dad's wedding and you will have to stay in the closet the whole time! And she said that she had a dream that she was working at my breakfast place idea for Western guys. In her dream she was a slave there and she had to change the hay that the horses ate and she had to bend down all low and push her butt out waaay out to do it properly, and the horses would fuck her ass very hard. And I said you silly dogslave, that wasn't horses in you, that was my tongue!

Everyone laughed very hard and then Sylvia asked me how is it ? And I said it's kinda like licking old penny coins and Doll said "all coppery ?" and I asked them what is coppery and they said it's a kind of metal so I asked them what is a metal and they said "what the hell are you doing in school ?" and I said "we're watching films and doing auditorium presentations of bullshit" and she said "just like the brown shirts, huh" and Sylvia facepalmed. But then I asked Sylvia how come she didn't know and had to ask me and she said because I never ate ass in my life, Babydoll and I said how come and she said because nobody forced me to and I said well now you have to do it Sylvia and she said oh no! And I said she's not even qualified to go to Europe until she's done it because what will those people think and I told dogslave to put her palms on the table and push her butt far out and Doll said "you've heard the Princess" and twisted Sylvia's right arm behind her back and pushed her face into dogslave's butt and Sylvia kissed it a little and dogslave was moaning and rubbing her bud with her hand but I told Chris to go on her knees and kiss dogslave on her spot and Doll said Sylvia "do it properly, like a careerwhore" and she was all no-bullshit! so Sylvia put her tongue out and licked dogslave a little but Doll started pushing her back and forth and dogslave was biting her fingers but Sylvia put her tongue out more and more as she was doing it and then Doll stopped moving her but Sylvia was moving by herself putting her tongue into dogslave and the poor puppy came like a bucket. I thought she peed at first but she said she didn't think she peed because she had just peed after we brushed our teeth before coming down for breakfast and Doll said holy hell, she's a squirter! And Sylvia looked up from her ass and said "Isn't she too young for that ?!" and Doll said "Apparently not" and Sylvia was covered on her belly and thighs and everywhere and she was all wet. And Doll said "that'll be a nice memory" and Sylvia grinned. Then she said "I never made a girl squirt before either" and I said you didn't make her, Chris made her but Chris was just blown away and she didn't say anything. So I said Chris lick through that puddle down there and tell me if it's pee or if it isn't and Chris licked like all across the floor and said it tastes sweet and dogslave was shaking.

Then Doll said we should not be doing the Western idea very much either because pee is ok but the reason licking inside the butthole tastes that way is because there are little bits of poop there. EWWW! I didn't think about that, but of course there are huh! And when you lick poop you are getting germs and toxic things and it can be very bad for you so we should not do a lot of it but only very little. So I said this Plato is becoming complicated and Doll said kinda and I said so when can we do it and she said not before Sylvia is back and I said so slave stones once a day, and the lickskin like the slave stones, and kissing it peeing not even once a day, and making dogslave have it her way twenty bananas or even less than that, and Western breakfast in three weeks! And Doll said "even less than that" and I said so how long before dogslave may sweetpee again and she said oh, as often as she can manage, that's like having it only wetter. Then I asked Doll if she kissed a butthole ever and she said she did it with Daddy once and I asked her how was it and she said at the right time and with the right butthole it is the best thing in the world. But really a lot of things are like that.

Then there was the ceremony of Dad's wedding with Doll, and I guess it was beautiful and with garlands outside and many flowers and Doll was very happy and all but really it's kinda boring and a lot like school, just lots of old people talking all the time but nothing that is interesting or even worth writing down like when we talk by ourselves. We didn't wear our lickskin things but just normal party dresses because that's what weddings are, but the problem is everyone else was dressed stupid, and so everyone kept looking at us and kept wanting to come and talk to us all the time but they never said anything interesting it was always the same like three things over and over again which is so terrible and stupid! Like "what a lovely wedding" and then they kept talking about themselves and who they are but who cares! I know who you are, you are the guy that says "what a lovely weding". The food was kinda bullshit too because there was a company catering and they brough cafeteria food which is nothing like when we go to restaurants or even when Doll makes it or even Sylvia although Sylvia does not know that many things and she needs Doll to help her anyway. They should have made the food themselves but I guess it was too much to make because there were a lot of guest people. But I didn't tell Doll anything about it and it is terrible to not be able to tell Doll things. When you read it here sorry Doll I did not know what to do but I love you and that is why. Also Doll if you read my journal you have to go kiss my stone when you're done because that's the rule.

Then the other people left and now we wore our lickskin uniforms which are cool and feel great on the skin and also they kinda make you look almost as if you were naked because they are just directly on your skin and follow everything. But it's a great feeling and we will have to wear them again because sisi discovered that if you rub your bud through the lickskin it feels good but it is impossible to have it. But you have to just rub on the surface you are not allowed to rub very roughly and move it because then it's not fair. And dogslave kept licking our nipples and armpits and knees and everywhere and barked and panted the whole time but really we just wanted to hug Sylvia. Dad collared his whores, so Doll and Sylvia both have collars now, which they may never take off, and are kinda like a slave stone though I like the stones better than the collars because you feel them a lot more and they are inside, even if you can't keep them in the whole time. But the collars are permanent, they are made of a metal and it's smooth everywhere and there's no way to open them like a screw or anything and I don't understand how Dad put them on their necks. People can grab you by them, but Sylvia said it is not nice to do that to a slave that's not your slave, so I guess I won't do it to them then. Though I would kinda like to. And they can also be locked together very easily or to a stone or a pole or anything really, it's a lot like a handcuff. And I could have collared my whores also but I really didn't want to though I think dogslave would have liked one but I told her don't be sad puppydog, we can do it later anyways. And she said she knows.

Then later Daddy asked me "Did you kick Doll out of her bedroom ?" and I said "No Daddy, we were just kidding around, it was just for fun." and he said "Don't do that again." and I said "No Daddy, I wont." and then I asked him if he is angry with me and he said no, because he knows I love Doll and I would never be mean to her and it is true, I love her. This kinda means being mean to her too, but Doll knows that. And I asked her too if she is angry with me and she said "hell no Babydoll, I had fun, we were just kidding" and I said "that's right Doll Ma'am" and then I said "You know you'll always be the boss of me" and she said oh yeah ? and I said yea definitely and then she said then go to bed you little bitch and I said yes Ma'am! So now we are in my room, they are kissing and rubbing my feet like good whores and I am finishing writing the journal like a good Princess which I hope one day to be.

Sunday October the 3rd. This has been the saddest breakfast in my life because Sylvia is leaving and Doll will be driving her to the airport after we are done with breakfast and I really don't want her to go but she should go because it's her life and that's who I love. Doll asked me if I want to come to the airport but I said no, because it would be too sad. And Sylvia came to say goodbye in our room and I hugged her and dogslave got on the floor and hugged her knees and Chris was hugging us both and we were all crying. Then after breakfast we went down with her to the car, Daddy too, and then they said goodbye for real and Doll took off! And we will see Sylvia again only at the end of the month the earliest!

After they were gone Daddy turned to me and said "Would you like to hang out with me ?" and I said yeah dad! Can I bring the slaves too ? And he said sure, so we went and hung out by the pool and made drinks and then got in because it was getting cold, though the pool is nice and warm but the outside is windy and we didn't want to be in the pool so much. And Dad asked me how are my slaves working out ? And I said it is great Dad, better than I had ever hoped or imagined it could ever be. And then he asked Chris who is now sisi if she loves Babydoll, meaning me, and sisi was very shy and playing with her skirt fringe but she said yes sir. And then Dad said to her, "you know if you become her slave you'll never be able to leave" and sisi looked up at him and said she never ever wants to leave me no matter what. But dogslave nuzzled me and I said go ahead and she said Sir, how come Sylvia could leave if she is a slave too ? And Dad said it's because she was enslaved when she was older, that's why she could leave, but little girls that are enslaved as young as we are can never leave because they imprint on each other. Then he said "How about you Keysha ? How is your life in slavery ?" and everyone froze because nobody has called dogslave Keysha here ever and even though she was dressed it didn't feel like school at all so it was very weird! But she said "It is the best sir, and everyone calls me dogslave" and Dad nodded and said "Anyone up for some games ?" and we were all like yaay! and we went in the den and everyone got a controller and we played Mario but Dad is really really good and we played karts and Mortal Kombat and many many things. Dad kinda beats us though, we have to gang up on him, but the problem is we don't have a good signal to know when to go or how to go about it. We will have to strategize more because this is a problem, we have to be organized! At least that's what Dad said.

Doll was back after a while and she ran up to Daddy and he hugged her and she whispered "Hurt me Daddy, hurt me bad please." but I heard her and I said "let's go to bed girls" and Doll kissed us goodnight and Dad kissed me goodnight and we went to our room. Poor dogslave really wanted to hug and cuddle, so we put her in the middle between us and just hugged her and petted her and she seemed sad at first and like she is going to cry but then little by little she was smiling and then she went asleep with her face on sisi's tits again. This is kinda bullshit so after I finished my journal I came in from the other side and kinda pushed to the side a little and we both slept on sis like her boobs were pillows, which they are and very good pillows too!

Monday October the 4th. When I woke up dogslave was kissing my toes very softly and sisi was playing with my hair pushing it away from my forehead and I sucked on her nipple and she said good morning Princess Goddess Mistress Babydoll! and dogslave barked her cute bark and it is the best way to wake up ever! Then Doll made us breakfast of sauce which is made of elephants but I don't remember what its name is but it is even better than peanut butter and dropped us off at school where the bullshit is ongoingly worsening!

This time it was little vans and annoying people pulling cables after them from my sweet sunshine princess show which is on a channel on TV that I don't remember and there is also a national convention or something and they were looking for little girls to do a dance or something maybe sing something or some talent I don't know for their show and they were holding auditions which is when they look at people although audition should mean when you listen and videotions should be when you look at them but all the boys in our year were playing soccer or sports and all the girls were on the lawn waiting to be auditioned visually. But it turns out that these people from the show think there are four kinds of faces of girls which is so silly because there are much more than that, there is dogface and catface and fish face and frog face and tree face and egg face and I have to stop because I don't want my whole journal to be just face names because it is not a face book. And the four faces they said there are were round, oval square just kidding, triangular and heart-shaped which is the very rarest and this is what they were looking for in their auditions, because they were saying they're doing a free evaluation but really it was just trying to look for heart shaped face girls and it turns out that nobody is heart shaped in the whole school at all except me. But I wasn't even auditioning although dogslave told me Princess you should go in but I didn't want to because I am already a pimp and it's ok if I whore out for my girls maybe now and again and eat their poop with my tongue but only rarely like Doll said and I don't want to be discovered or anything. And they came out of their audition booth and shook my hand and made a big deal congratulating me and bullshit, and they told me I should go to the convention but I said I'm not going anywhere and then they said they want to talk to my parents but I told them my parents are busy and don't have time to be bothered like I do because if bums show up at where they work the guard chases them away only we don't have a guard to chase bums away because it's just a school. So they left but more of them came and these kept saying about my future and things like that and I told them I am not interested and go away. But they just kept coming and coming like always new ones like they have a factory of different people to say the same things! But eventually they went away for good just as Doll showed up and dogslave and sisi told her all what happened and I was very upset and Doll said sorry Babydoll and I said that these people are like a very annoying Daddy that doesn't even work, and Doll said ha! Then I said they also have a lot of nerve, how dare they come over like they are offering me things. Like a busker saying he is offering a lucky person the chance to give him a quarter! Congratulations Mr. Guy-Dude, you have won the great prize of giving me a quarter! And Doll said "they have no idea who they're dealing with Babydoll" but I was still annoyed. And sisi said "I guess someone else will be the Sweet Sunshine Princess" and I got really upset and I pulled her hair and she cried. I am so angry even now writing what happened that I forgot to make paragraphs.

How dare these stupid boys pretend like they say who is princess or what because they call it something stupid it is different ? It is ok for every princess to be a princess but if the smelly boys make themselves a TV show for how smelly they are it doesn't mean they can say this chair is now the smelly boy moonshine princess! And my face is my face not their quest, I told Doll, what if one day some guy shows up at the house and says oh look, it's Doll's car! I was looking all my life for a Doll's car just like this here Doll's car! I have found it now! I hope Dad goes out and shoots him because what does Doll's car care about what some guy has been searching for! And Doll said "Doll's car doesn't care and so why do you ?" and I wasn't angry anymore because Doll is right and sisi was crying. I hugged her and she said she is so sorry she said the wrong thing but she didn't mean it and I said it's ok babycakes, I am not upset with you I am upset with those other people, outside. And I said I am so sorry I pulled on your hair please forgive me and she said no no I deserve it and you should punish me when we are home and I said ok I will punish you. But her punishment was to kiss my mouth and dogslave said hey, that is no punishment and so I sad she has to kiss dogslave's mouth too which is a real punishment and we all laughed.

But I was still angry about it even after dinner and Doll said babycakes, you don't even watch TV and I said that's right, I don't. And she said so what do you care ? And I told her I don't know! I don't know why but I am very bothered that these people dare go around talking about selecting princesses like I told Doll, what if a frog pretends to be a doctor ? And she said it's spelled fraud not frog and she said they put him in jail. And I said see ? They should put these false princesseers in jail too! And she said they used to until recently and I said too bad they changed that law! And then this bullshit where people start talking to you because they have been looking for something just like you! What bullshit! They really should stop doing that. And also the winning a trouble idea! Here, you have won a pirate chest full of bad smelling air, aren't you glad ? You won it and so you think it's good but they call it won when it is nothing like winning just to take advantage of your good feelings. Like maybe sisi's dad won a shooting and bullshit like that! It is terrible, all of it.

Then we played Monopoly which is fun because we play for prizes like someone can sell their clothes for money or do a dance or things and it is a lot of fun. But Doll was messing with me, like every time she said backwards, if I won something she said I lost it and if I lost something she said I won it and I said she should have her own TV show, on Boll TV! Then I won because I told dogslave to trade me some things for only fifty moneys and sisi to trade me some things I needed for some things I didn't need and then I made hotels and got Doll broke completely and she said ok you win Babydoll but I said nuh-uh, you have to keep on playing and she kept having to do things because she had no moneys at all like get us drinks and curtsy and everything we could think of and also painting sisi's toenails.

Then we went to bed but it was really too tight so I said you bitches go sleep in the spare bedroom down the hall and they were all sad about it but they went and then I tried to sleep by myself but it was too sad and lonely so I went after them myself and they were not sleeping but talking about what are they going to do without me because it's too sad and I said I want to sleep with someone not by myself and at first I sent sisi back to my bedroom to sleep by herself but she was crying so loud in there all alone we could hear her, and the dogslave said it's ok Ma'am go sleep with her in your bedroom and I will stay here by myself but I said no dogslave, come with me and we will be all together. And we were very tired but it was still hard to fall asleep because it is really too tight for sleeping comfortably. I have to ask Daddy what to do tomorrow because I don't want to miss out on sleeping with my lovergirls but also we can barely sleep like this and everyone is pale faced even dogslave!

Continued >>

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Princess Babydoll and the pleasure of pain »

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte

Wednesday, 04 November, Year 12 d.Tr.