Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send
Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking
around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains
that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at
the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon
and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have
just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been
given all light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted
and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.
Whoever calls himself revolutionary and speaks of dictatorship is only an imbecile or a traitor.
-- Joseph Dejacque
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
It was all so different before everything changed.
You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Richard III"
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
It is characteristic of theistic "tolerance" that no one really cares what the people believe in, just so they believe or pretend to believe.
-- Emma Goldman
Each seeks his way, we seek ours and think the day that freedom and equality reign, mankind will be happy.
-- Louise Michel
Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.
-- Oscar Wilde
Anarchism is "stateless socialism."
-- Mikhail Bakunin
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
Let us light the fuse on the dynamite of vengeance!
-- Severino Di Giovanni
Wanton killing of innocent civilians is terrorism, not a "war against terrorism."
-- Noam Chomsky
The equal exchange of labor would give as great a reward for honest and useful employments as for useless and fraudulent ones, and individual and unequivocal responsibilities (if for no other reasons) would induce a preference for the honest.
-- Josiah Warren
We must fight authority and privilege, while taking advantage from the benefits that civilization has conferred. We must not destroy anything that satisfies human need however badly -- until we have something better to put in its place.
-- Errico Malatesta
Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they
are removable!
Q: An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his
very religious colleague: Do you believe in one God?
A: Yes, up to isomorphism!
Q: What is a compact city?
A: It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted
policemen!
-- Peter Lax
The time is right to make new friends.
Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
bad fiction contest.
Justice, equality, fraternity, prosperity of men... if God exists, all these things are condemned to non-existence.
-- Mikhail Bakunin