To me, there is something superbly symbolic in the fact that an astronaut, sent up as assistant to a series of computers, found that he worked more accurately and more intelligently than they. Inside the capsule, man is still in charge. ~ Adlai Stevenson
"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves."
Yo momma is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
"knock, knock" "who's there?" "java" "java who?" "java.lang.RuntimeException: java.lang.NullPointerException"
San Francisco has always been my favorite booing city. I don't mean the people boo louder or longer, but there is a very special intimacy. When they boo you, you know they mean *you*. Music, that's what it is to me. One time in Kezar Stadium they gave me a standing boo. -- George Halas, professional football coach
If you ever get stranded on an island there should be a certain "SOS" pattern that you can make that will automatically be detected by a satellite system that's constantly searching for these patterns. You will eventually be found if the system is constantly scanning the world. ―jonalexher, Sep 2015
Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, Thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought is great and swift and free. ~ Bertrand Russell
Theres not a lot to say about the Cul-de-Sac except to realize that it exists and to embrace the fact that when you find one, you need to get off it, fast. Thats because a dead end is keeping you from doing something else. The opportunity cost of investing your life in something thats not going to get better is just too high. -- Seth Godin , The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit
For though the flame of liberty may sometimes cease to shine, the coal can never expire. -- Thomas Paine the 5th, The Crisis
You might say reality is the result of complex negotiations between the observer and the observed. But that is simply a point of view. Michio von Kerr, "The Apotheosis of Reason", CY 11542
The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression. -- H. L. Mencken
You'll learn something about men and women -- the way they're supposed to be. Caring for each other, being happy with each other, being good to each other. That's what we call love. You'll like that a lot. -- Kirk, "The Apple", stardate 3715.6
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. -- H. L. Mencken
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres. Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres. Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike. Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing. You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level 4. The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look like a nail.
The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries #37 There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.' Amended: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."
To err is human, to purr feline. To err is human, two curs canine. To err is human, to moo bovine.
'Mounten' wird fuer drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken' von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex. (Christa Keil in a German posting: "Mounting is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex".)
A woman running a marathon overtakes the person in second place. What place is she in now? She is now in second place. She’s always in second place. Stephen was right. ~ Ethan Kuperberg
An unexpected check or fortune will arrive today.