It is my job in life to travel all roads, so that some may take the road less travelled, and others the road more travelled, and all have a pleasant day. -- Larry Wall in <199709241628.JAA08908@wall.org>
protasis first clause in a conditional expression; introductory part of a play
May I ask a question?
In the Old West a wagon train is crossing the plains. As night falls the wagon train forms a circle, and a campfire is lit in the middle. After everyone has gone to sleep two lone cavalry officers stand watch over the camp. After several hours of quiet, they hear war drums starting from a nearby Indian village they had passed during the day. The drums get louder and louder. Finally one soldier turns to the other and says, "I don't like the sound of those drums." Suddenly, they hear a cry come from the Indian camp: "IT'S NOT OUR REGULAR DRUMMER."
Wings of OS/400: The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.
Cafeteria trays are not toboggans.
Deadlines? Surely you know someone who is late all the time. Someone who cant deliver anything of value unless theyve stalled so much theyve created an urgency, an emergency that requires mind-blowing effort and adrenaline to deliver. This is not efficient or reliable behavior, and yet they persist. The reason is simple: they cant push through the common fear of completion unless they can create a greater fear of total failure. -- Seth Godin , Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?
Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not. -- Carl Jung
Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books. -- Folk saying
Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
Send your questions to ``ASK ZIPPY'', Box 40474, San Francisco, CA 94140, USA
No doubt, man will continue to weigh and to measure, watch himself grow, and his Universe around him and with him, according to the ever growing powers of his tools. ~ Albert Claude
REAL SOFTWARE ENGINEERS DON'T READ DUMPS
Red Green: We never heard of anyone getting rich during a *mold* rush. Harold Green: Well, mold has its values, too, because they use it to make things like bread and penicillin. Mold is not a bad thing. Red Green: Well, would you be willing to pay 400 bucks an ounce for it, Harold? If not, then it's a bad thing, because that's how much we spent to dig the gold mine.
All generalizations are false, including this one. -- Mark Twain
It appears that after his death, Albert Einstein found himself working as the doorkeeper at the Pearly Gates. One slow day, he found that he had time to chat with the new entrants. To the first one he asked, "What's your IQ?" The new arrival replied, "190". They discussed Einstein's theory of relativity for hours. When the second new arrival came, Einstein once again inquired as to the newcomer's IQ. The answer this time came "120". To which Einstein replied, "Tell me, how did the Cubs do this year?" and they proceeded to talk for half an hour or so. To the final arrival, Einstein once again posed the question, "What's your IQ?". Upon receiving the answer "70", Einstein smiled and replied, "Got a minute to tell me about VMS 4.0?"
These days the necessities of life cost you about three times what they used to, and half the time they aren't even fit to drink.
Woolen Goods Observe an unexplained silence. 1973 Tucson, Arizona ~ Ken Friedman
I have a dog; I named him Stay. So when I'd go to call him, I'd say, "Here, Stay, here..." but he got wise to that. Now when I call him he ignores me and just keeps on typing. -- Steven Wright