Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. -- Groucho Marx

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward. -- Jack Handey

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. - Josh Billings

If words are not things, or maps are not the actual territory, then, obviously, the only possible link between the objective world and the linguistic world is found in structure, and structure alone. ~ Alfred Korzybski

We didn't put in ^^ because then we'd have to keep telling people what it means, and then we'd have to keep telling them why it doesn't short circuit. :-/ -- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husband or similar. On a Bucharest elevator: The lift is being fixed for the next days. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. -- Colin Bowles

The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries #36 When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.

Light Table Set a wooden table with many candles of different kinds, large and small, colored and plain, ordinary and shaped, normal and scented. Place the candles on the table. Stand thin candles in candlesticks and candleholders. Stand thick candles and square candles directly on the table. Anyone who wishes to bring new candles may place them on the table. Light the candles. 1966 Mt. Carroll, Illinois ~ Ken Friedman

Yo momma's so stupid that she thinks sub-prime is a way to cut steak.

Scientists are very much entangled in their culture and this culture is not pristine, untouched by other cultures and practices. ~ Bruno Latour

Interfere? Of course we should interfere! Always do what you're best at, that's what I say. -- Doctor Who

Television has spread the habit of instant reaction and stimulated the hope of instant results. -- Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.

* This is complicated. Has to do with interrupts. Thus, I am * scared witless. Therefore I refuse to write this function. :-P -- From the maclinux patch

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. -- H. L. Mencken

Brontosaurus Principle: Organizations can grow faster than their brains can manage them in relation to their environment and to their own physiology: when this occurs, they are an endangered species. -- Thomas K. Connellan

Q: How many gradual (sorry, that's supposed to be "graduate") students does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: "I'm afraid we don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my advisor a $30,000 grant of the taxpayer's money, and I'm sure he can tell me how to do the shit work for him so he can take the credit for answering this incredibly vital question."

Just to remind everyone. Today, Sept 17, is Linux's 5th birthday. So happy birthday to all on the list. Thanks go out to Linus and all the other hard-working maintainers for 5 wonderful fast paced years! -- William E. Roadcap

"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to get off my driveway." -- Steven Wright

I will not play at tug o' war. I'd rather play at hug o' war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins. -- Shel Silverstein, "Hug o' War"

The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries #25 If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage. Amended: If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage.