Is this an out-take from the "BRADY BUNCH"?
For over two billion years, through the apparent fancy of her endless differentiations and metamorphosis the Cell, as regards its basic physiological mechanisms, has remained one and the same. It is life itself, and our true and distant ancestor. ~ Albert Claude
One basis for society is that of helping your neighbor -- but in the software world this is piracy. To prevent this, the U.S. is putting in place practices which are like those in the former Soviet Union -- computerized guards, propaganda in favor of licensing, rewards for informing on co-workers, and penalties which make distributing software as serious a crime as armed robbery. ~ Richard Stallman
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. -- George Carlin
It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog!
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. ~ Will Rogers
A Scholar asked his Master, "Master, would you advise me of a proper vocation?" The Master replied, "Some men can earn their keep with the power of their minds. Others must use thier strong backs, legs and hands. This is the same in nature as it is with man. Some animals acquire their food easily, such as rabbits, hogs and goats. Other animals must fiercely struggle for their sustenance, like beavers, moles and ants. So you see, the nature of the vocation must fit the individual. "But I have no abilities, desires, or imagination, Master," the scholar sobbed. Queried the Master... "Have you thought of becoming a salesperson?"
EPIGRAMS IN PROGRAMMING 53. So many good ideas are never heard from again once they embark in a voyage on the semantic gulf.
If we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false; so soon as one has got used to not suffering one wants something else. -- Simone Weil
If you are going to run a rinky-dink distro made by a couple of volunteers, why not run a rinky-dink distro made by a lot of volunteers? -- Jaldhar H. Vyas on debian-devel
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. -- George Carlin
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. -- George Carlin
Wantonness needs putting out, even more than a house on fire. ~ Heraclitus, Fragments
One dusty July afternoon, somewhere around the turn of the century, Patrick Malone was in Mulcahey's Bar, bending an elbow with the other street car conductors from the Brooklyn Traction Company. While they were discussing the merits of a local ring hero, the bar goes silent. Malone turns around to see his wife, with a face grim as death, stalking to the bar. Slapping a four-bit piece down on the bar, she draws herself up to her full five feet five inches and says to Mulcahey, "Give me what himself has been havin' all these years." Mulcahey looks at Malone, who shrugs, and then back at Margaret Mary Malone. He sets out a glass and pours her a triple shot of Rye. The bar is totally silent as they watch the woman pick up the glass and knock back the drink. She slams the glass down on the bar, gasps, shudders slightly, and passes out; falling straight back, stiff as a board, saved from sudden contact with the barroom floor by the ample belly of Seamus Fogerty. Sometime later, she comes to on the pool table, a jacket under her head. Her bloodshot eyes fell upon her husband, who says, "And all these years you've been thinkin' I've been enjoying meself."
Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood. ~ Fred Rogers
I've written 18 books, mostly dealing with issues of social justice, ending racism, feminism, and cultural criticism. ~ bell hooks
Nanosecond: The time it takes after your warranty expires for your hard disk to start making a sound like a monkey wrench in a blender.
"With molasses you catch flies, with vinegar you catch nobody." -- Baltimore City Councilman Dominic DiPietro