Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. -- H. L. Mencken

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.

Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's place in the Scheme of Things. Here are just a few: Q -- Is there life after death? A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian", then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods. -- Dave Barry

Punishment damages goodwill and self-esteem, and shifts our attention from the intrinsic value of an action to external consequences. - Marshall Rosenberg

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho Marx

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. -- Kahlil Gibran

"Throw them all away, but don't predict where your foot will fall. The first and the last steps are the same" Seefra 6 Inscription 228-AT9

What child has ever known the country and has not twined hundreds of fragrant wreaths with the yellow shining cowslip and the more frail and delicate violet - mingling here and there green leaves culled from the odorous eglantine, or, as we more commonly call it, sweetbriar. -- Dorothea Dix

A Linux machine! because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste! (By jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu, Joe Sloan)

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Ambassador: What are you doing, Mr. Spock? Spock: Practicing a peculiar variety of diplomacy, sir. [Fires phaser] "Star Trek: The Original Series: A Taste of Armageddon, Season 1"

Jean-Luc Picard: I'd be delighted to offer any advice I have on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know. "Star Trek: The Next Generation: In Theory [4.25], Season 4"

Degrees of Freedom This is important. One of the easy things about riding the train is that there arent many choices. The track goes where the track goes. Sure, sometimes there are junctions and various routes, but generally speaking, there are only two choicesgo or dont go. Driving is a little more complicated. In a car you can choose from literally millions of destinations. Organizations are far more complex. There are essentially an infinite number of choices, endless degrees of freedom. Your marketing can be free or expensive, online or offline, funny or sad. It can be truthful, emotional, boring, or bland. In fact, every marketing campaign ever done has been at least a little different from every other one. The same choices exist in even greater number when you look at the microdecisions that go on every day. Should you go to a meeting or not? Shake hands with each person or just start? Order in fancy food for your guests or go for a walk together because the weather is sunny. . . . In the face of an infinite sea of choices, its natural to put blinders on, to ask for a map, to beg for instructions, or failing that, to do exactly what you did last time, even if it didnt work. Linchpins are able to embrace the lack of structure and find a new path, one that works. -- Seth Godin , Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

Late twentieth-century machines have made thoroughly ambiguous the difference between natural and artificial, mind and body, self-developing and externally designed, and many other distinctions that used to apply to organisms and machines. Our machines are disturbingly lively, and we ourselves frighteningly inert. ~ Donna J. Haraway

R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game aboard the Millennium Falcon. Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you. Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee. C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid. Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. Chewbacca: Grrf. C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.

Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life. -- Fred Rogers

If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EASY! -- Jack Handey

Being happy is more important than anything else. -- Jenny Holzer

Proconsul Claudius Marcus: The games have always strengthened us. Death becomes a familiar pattern. We don't fear it as you do. "Star Trek: The Original Series: Bread and Circuses, Season 2"

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