A man sees a boat that is full of people. And yet there isn’t a single person on the boat. How is this possible? Everyone on the boat is married, so there isn’t one single person on the boat. The man wonders if it’s legal for a transportation system to discriminate against unmarried people. It doesn’t seem legal, but maybe maritime laws are different? Perhaps if things had ended differently with Heather, the man would be on the boat, too. He laughs sadly to himself. He was always single, even when he was with Heather. Love is an illusion. There are no purely unselfish actions. Heather and Dale deserve each other. The man blows his nose. He didn’t even realize he’d been crying. ~ Ethan Kuperberg

Don't be condescending to unskilled labor. Try it for a half a day first. -- Brooks Atkinson

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. -- H. L. Mencken

Bistromathics is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants. -- Douglas Adams

If you have received a letter inviting you to speak at the dedication of a new cat hospital, and you hate cats, your reply, declining the invitation, does not necessarily have to cover the full range of your emotions. You must make it clear that you will not attend, but you do not have to let fly at cats. The writer of the letter asked a civil question; attack cats, then, only if you can do so with good humor, good taste, and in such a way that your answer will be courteous as well as responsive. Since you are out of sympathy with cats, you may quite properly give this as a reason for not appearing at the dedication ceremonies of a cat hospital. But bear in mind that your opinion of cats was not sought, only your services as a speaker. Try to keep things straight. -- Strunk and White, "The Elements of Style"

Someone else's body is a place for your mind to go. -- Jenny Holzer

Spock: Lieutenant Uhura, has Starfleet honored our request with a reply? Uhura: There has been no response as yet, sir. Spock: Did you advise them the Captain's life is at stake? Uhura: Yes, sir. They insist the matter must be referred to the Federation. Spock: What department? Uhura: The Bureau of Planetary Treaties. Spock: Contact them directly. Uhura: I did, Mr. Spock. They insist that we must go through Starfleet channels. "Star Trek: The Original Series: The Mark of Gideon, Season 3"

Being is. Being is in-itself. Being is what it is. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre

With so many people in the world, every time a microwave counts down to Zero, it's counting down to the end of someone's life. ―Boss_Taurus, Jan 2015

I want you to MEMORIZE the collected poems of EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY ... BACKWARDS!!

"Sonny" Clemonds: ...you and me can find us a couple of low-mileage pit wolfies, and help 'em build a memory. "Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Neutral Zone [1.26], Season 1"

Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition: 15. Acting stupid is often smart

a study in feet, or no second half a metadrama participants remove their right shoes and socks only. they display their right feet to the audience and to each other. they put their shoes and socks back on. ~ Dick Higgins [NYC, Sept-Oct, 1985]

Enterprise: any business large enough to have two help desks that don’t know about each other’s existence

In the '60s we fought for peace, when the Vietnam war was on. We were against the cops and against the politicians, and there was a lot of waving banners and all that. And I think in a way, just as they were enjoying that machoism of war, we were enjoying the machismo of being anti-war, you know? -- Yoko Ono

The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.

Governor Tarkin: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away. Commander: But that's impossible. How will the emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy? Governor Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

When someone calls you a pussy ass bitch they are calling you three different animals ―Spanky_McFart, May 2016

If God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish Him. -- Mikhail Bakunin

Tele-Parabilizing: Morals used in everyday life that derive from TV sitcom plots: "That's just like the episode where Jan loses her glasses!" -- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture"