its called a presidential “race” but they wont let me drive my 1998 honda civic into the voting booth. system is rigged

matt walsh is what happens when you feed an AI 10,000 hours of someone saying ‘actually,’ and then give it a beard

breaking news: local man who spent 6 hours sending death threats is deeply wounded that someone told him to shut up. more at 11

the cowards guide to posting: 1. harass someone 2. get mad when they respond 3. write a 12 part thread about Civility In Discourse"

It’s bloody refreshing to see a tech company ask their hard-core users what they want and then…build it. I’d love to see more of this.

by 2025 joan will be a payments platform by 2026 joan will be a self driving car by 2027 joan will be bankrupt & my posts about joan will be evidence in federal court

why the fuck would you spend 4 years getting ‘educated’ at some commie Marxist hippie lentil university when you could be spending that time becoming a self made millionaire by inheriting money

PLEASE DONT ADVERTISE A RESTAURANT THAT ISNT FREE YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT

Cat Stevens: I’m looking for a hard headed woman one who will make me do my bed

DOCTOR Jordan Peterson : :

thank you Mr Bezos my family can “eat” now

Biden nailed it. Trump voters are garbage. Every last one of them. No exceptions.

“I promised Full Self Driving. I never promised the driving style wouldn’t be ‘unhinged Florida man at 3am’“​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Okay I feel like we gave “reaching across the aisle” the old college try, regardless of who wins, next year we are socially isolating and shunning every Trump voter and every racist fucking family member so they die alone and lonely. Like, we’re just never speaking to them again.

my roommate michael moore keeps trying to get me to join his “anti-establishment book club” but it’s just him reading the back covers of chomsky books out loud

nothing says ‘daddy never loved me’ quite like being a billionaire still chasing Trump’s approval with your checkbook

my new response to right wing dipshits on social media is “shut the fuck up dork” honestly it’s about all they’re worth

just found out about death. not a fan. giving it 1 star on yelp. the grim reaper can kiss my ass in hell, which is also bad

LUNTZ: where’s the Harris campaign’s 600 page affordability white paper? WHERE

AIDE: trump just posting ‘economy = fixed by the jews’ on truth social

LUNTZ: leaping for his noise canceling headphones i can’t hear youuuuuu

my roommate michael moore has been following me to starbucks every morning, demanding to know “who really profits” from my $5 latte habit. please just let me have my coffee