Your job isn’t going anywhere

Your boss isn’t going anywhere

And even if they do, you can find others

But one day.. your kids WILL ask you to play for the last time

Prioritize accordingly

Thread (dads, bookmark this and read it every day):

Mistake 1: Trying to fix everything

You'll want to solve all your child's problems. But part of growing up is learning how to navigate challenges. Instead of rushing in, ask guiding questions to help them find their own solutions.

Mistake 2: Neglecting yourself

You can't pour from an empty cup. There's nothing selfish about putting your own well-being first. If you want to be the best dad you can be, you need to be at your best. Period.

Mistake 3: Never being "fun"

Often, we take ourselves way too seriously. Some of your kids' best memories will come from having FUN with you. Be high energy. Be positive. And be a little weird. Your kids will thank you.

Mistake 4: Undermining your spouse

You and your wife must be in lockstep. You are a united front. Your kids need consistency. Show them what that looks like and never undermine your wife in front of them.

Mistake 5: Overworking

Your job isn't going anywhere. Your boss isn't going anywhere. Even if they do, you can find others. But one day your kids WILL ask you to play for the last time. Prioritize accordingly.

Mistake 6: Hiding emotions

I am NOT saying be an emotional loose cannon. If you're led by your emotions, you can't lead others. But by speaking calmly about your emotions with your kids, you're modeling mastery.

Mistake 7: Comparing your kids to others

Your kids are unique. Every child develops at their own pace. Nurture their self-esteem by avoiding comparisons. Every child has something special about them. Find those special things and fan the flames.

Mistake 8: Discounting their emotions

Validate their emotions. I'm not saying you have to endure endless tantrums. Instead, validate the emotion, and encourage calm discussion ABOUT the emotion. Deep breaths. Let them explore how and why they feel like they do.

Mistake 9: Forgetting to praise

So many of us get this wrong. Be lavish with your praise. Especially when you're praising traits you'd like to see more of in your kids. You always reap what you sow.

Mistake 10: Setting unrealistic expectations

You should have high hopes for your kids. But children are small. Under too much pressure, they break. Instead, be with them through ups and downs, and always look for the learning opportunity in successes and failures.

Mistake 11: Assuming they know we love them

"I love you." "I'm proud of you." These are words we should say often. Show them AND tell them. Leaving this unsaid leaves too much to interpretation. And interpretation can lead to doubt.

Mistake 12: Being inconsistent with rules

Consistency is key when it comes to discipline. Changing rules arbitrarily only leads to confusion. Not to mention it undermines your authority. Children can smell incompetence a mile away.

Mistake 13: Failure to apologize

You will make some big mistakes. And like it or not, those mistakes will often form core memories for your kids. Don't neglect the opportunity to bolster those memories by modeling how a man takes responsibility for his actions.

Mistake 14: Not giving independence

Kids need opportunities to become self-reliant. Otherwise, how will they ever learn? Give them real responsibilities. They can handle it. Let them fail. Then be there to pick them back up.

Mistake 15: Ignoring their interests

Do they like pokemon? Do they like princess dolls? Do you think these things are stupid? I don't care. Your job is now to like these things too. Take an interest in what they're interested in. This is how memories and bonds are made.

Mistake 16: Never explaining why

If your kids are like mine, their favorite word will be "why." So freaking tell them. "Because I said so," isn't a reason. Bonus points, when they ask why, ask "why do you think?" Then encourage them to answer thoughtfully. Critical thinking FTW

Mistake 17: Missing the small moments

Your best memories with your kids won't be the elaborate trips, or the expensive birthday parties. They'll be the small moments. The in-between moments. Don't be so distracted you miss them.

Mistake 18: Being a friend, not a parent

Yes it's important that your kids like you (I know ... controversial), but you always need to be a parent first. You are their safe harbor. You are their bumper lanes. You are their lighthouse. You aren't their bff.

Mistake 19: Taking over tasks

Just because you can do something "faster," doesn't mean you should take over. Kids learn by doing (we all do). Be patient. Patience is your most valuable resource as a dad. Let them complete tasks on their own.

Mistake 20: Neglecting your relationship with your wife

This is the most important item on the list. Without this, nothing else matters. Your marriage is the foundation. It represents the root of your family tree. Everything that grows from it depends on its health.

Invest just as heavily in your relationship as you do in yourself and in your kids.

Kids learn what love is from their parents. Model what it looks like. Through thick and thin.

good morning, stay humble and stack sats 🫡

A woman's past is important. Who she was in the past is an indication of who she will be in the future.

Most women never change their habits.

Ignore her past at your own peril.

"Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man."

- Frank Pittman

I turned 43 today...

If you're in your 20s, read this:

Forgive your parents

Understand that your parents are only human. And we all make mistakes. Forgive past trauma with your parents and take full responsibility for your future actions.

Stop chasing titles

The internet taught me one thing - qualifications don't matter. This is because, on a worldwide stage, people with real skills are ultimately rewarded.

At 25, I was 55K in debt

At 30, I paid my loans off

At 32, I got married

At 34, I started a side hustle

At 35, I started to invest

At 39, I became a millionaire

At 43, I run my own business

Actively improve yourself every day and you will be miles ahead of your peers

Stop watching TV

99% of what you see on TV is engineered around negativity. News keeps you in a state of fear. Advertisements are used to manipulate you because fear makes great consumers. It's better to avoid the cycle.

Be the 1st to congratulate friends

Adopt the mindset of when they win you win. Never be jealous. Their success will strengthen you.

Find your purpose

Sit down and define your life.

To do this, ask yourself this simple question: “Who do you want to become?”

Then take the actions to become it.

Ignore the haters in life

Winning means dealing with some people who want to bring you down. Always remember that the loudest boos come from the cheapest seats.

Saying NO is a superpower

When you say yes to everything, you live life on other people's terms. Stop letting others dictate your life. Learn how to say no. Your life is your priority.

Create something new every day

Creativity is the pathway to authenticity. The more you create, the more you discover who you truly are. Building makes you better because creating is where you achieve mastery.

In your opinion, what’s the biggest threat to men’s health today?

Integrity gets more valuable the higher up you climb

No one cares if a nobody in his mom's basement lives with "integrity"

He hasn't been tested, he hasn't been tempted

But at the top, temptation ratchets up 1000x

The more you have to lose, the more people watching you...

Even tiny slip ups can be devastating.

Many many such cases. What’s the most valuable thing you learned from a YouTube video?

Live life with your grandchildren in mind

Men between the ages of 18-24:

These are the toughest years of your life

It’s when your social value is at its absolute lowest, and life repeatedly punches you in the mouth to test what you’re made of

How you emerge from this period will shape you forever, for better or worse.

9) Gave without asking in return.

This is not being nice.

This is not being careless with your gifts and expenditures.

This is the long game.

Sulla didn't want a one time trade, he wanted to build loyalty and relationships.

The young Sulla on his first campaign in Numidia:

8) Developed the ability to learn new subjects quickly

Sulla began his military career VERY late, age 30.

But once he got to Numidia:

"Although previously inexperienced and ignorant of warfare, he became in a short time the shrewdest of all"

-Sallust

Napoleon was similar.

7) Cultivated Mentors

Sulla was incredibly talented, but voluntarily put himself under the wing of the great Gaius Marius and others.

Mentors = skills, knowledge, connections you don't have yet.

(He later became Marius' nemesis. Many lessons to be taken from this, too.)