Drinking too much Elon & DOGE kool aid can be hazardous to your health

Tales of my fucked up past

When I was in between 8th and 9th Grade

I was basically homeless for a while

And I got caught stealing

I turned myself in after I was betrayed

I had a whole swat team with guns drawn to take me down

I told them I was going to finish my sandwich while they had guns in my face

I literally laughed about it

It was surreal

I start 9th grade

One teacher hated me and kept trying to get me suspended by lying about me

Then she found my charges and that I did 33 days in kid jail

They suspended me

I got to an alternative school

I'm still half homeless (it's complicated)

And I was selling drugs still

The school was like a prison

We got body searched and had to walk through metal detectors every day

We weren't allowed to have backpacks

We weren't allowed to have more than 10$ on us

Almost everything was contraband

So I was the guy that could get you things

You get caught

You don't know me

So on the last day of school I bring A LOT of pills

I was expanding

3 of us got caught

My biggest regret was that I made it through all security checks but when I knew I was being called into the office I fucked into the bathroom and I didn't flush anything

There was a fucking hole in the wall that I could have hid things in

I just didn't

Most reeee shit of my life

I didn't want to lose the sale

We were snitched on

I got into the office and I bullshit the principal for as long as I can

They tried pitting me and my friends against each other and lying that the others are selling us out

Typical shit

But we prepared for this

Seperated we all gave a similar story after hours of nonsense

We agreed to give the names of everyone who was in on the scheme

They all ditched that day

We were supposed to feel betrayed

So the cops were called

Nothing actually happened in the long run

All 3 of us were fine

The next year starts and the principal wants me to be her certified snitch

After the 3rd day she figured out that the list of names I gave her just a few months ago were all other kids not ever coming back

She got mad and pressed me harder

I told her to go fuck herself

I proceeded to be a menace

She fired my favorite teacher for not bowing down to her

(She was a real cunt and very controlling)

She tried to get me on some other shit

I started teaching kids how to escape

(There's security and tall fences)

Then one day the assistant principal caught me and a friend trying to escape

We made him chase us down the highway until we jumped on a bus and he had to give up

He couldn't run as fast as we could

I got suspended for that

Allegedly

But it was really because I wouldn't be a snitch

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