‘I’ll Have A Chili Cheese Fry And A Strawberry Shake,’ Says Man Who Never Learns From His Mistakes https://t.co/rTqkE9SAJy https://t.co/F56cC23GZi

Journalist At NPR Suspended, Leading To Shocking Discovery There Was A Journalist At NPR https://t.co/l4qGOZmbAN https://t.co/66nxO7YsSM

Man Sets Himself On Fire To Show How His Side Is The Sane And Rational One https://t.co/cgnHOTukRp https://t.co/P3DCXUBfI1

Judge Warns Trump Criminal Trial May Last Until, Say, November 6 https://t.co/N4Bm4laKvR https://t.co/moEw3ArSQO

White House Calls In Elmo To Help Explain Latest Global Conflict To President https://t.co/9OxWQfkXO5 https://t.co/nmVkUgK4XY

Sad: Unmarried Woman Watching 'Lord Of The Rings' Has No One To Pause Movie And Explain Interesting Behind-The-Scenes Trivia https://t.co/v1uEZrN6ng https://t.co/JOuKdbSCTM

To Combat Transwoman Dominance Of Women's Sports, Olympics Adds Competitive Child Birthing https://t.co/qZ18u7uxVf https://t.co/nwxkBcsICS

Megachurch Worship Leaders Frantically Learning New Taylor Swift Songs For Sunday https://t.co/bMj3KFL3sM https://t.co/4w0BzP1ehk

10 Other Things Mike Johnson Wants To Fund Before The Border https://t.co/uFDoNGTJpi https://t.co/aPm89L8V96

‘This Is A Place Of Business, Not Politics,’ Says CEO Of Election Rigging Cartel https://t.co/8NNfpVzwOi https://t.co/8AGqo3ogIo

Biden Says When It Comes To College Women’s Sports, 'May The Best Man Win' https://t.co/GgNeMU9dby https://t.co/8nPOZYyfuX

Presbyterian School Expels Student For Smoking Low-Quality Cigars https://t.co/0gpA6mo3IQ https://t.co/xTU4wqEQM5

Theologians Confirm Hell Is A Nightclub Where You Keep Yelling That You Want To Go Home But Your Friends Can't Hear You Over How Loud The DJ Is Playing Nicki Minaj For All Eternity https://t.co/Y91xG0VPIq https://t.co/zNBivb1Nfo

House Republicans Demand New Speaker Who Will Be Equally Worthless But Maybe With Different Hair Or A Cool Mustache Or Something https://t.co/ITBA5WABBM https://t.co/1N3YExty2O

Snopes Journalists Announce Plans To Personally Fact-Check Entire San Francisco Poop Map https://t.co/ZmYCPPHc2s https://t.co/SINNsN2cG8

Damning Leak Reveals Matt Walsh Knew What A Woman Was This Whole Time https://t.co/pC729wS72g https://t.co/K8NyOi3XuU

Donald Trump Describes 9 Historical Battles https://t.co/6uRYl42tl7 https://t.co/mzahrpSqmf

Pastor Gently Informs Drummer A Triple Bass Pedal Isn't Really Needed For 'Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing' https://t.co/omTto7levn https://t.co/rIMWrN05Kp

Mike Johnson Unzips Skinsuit Revealing He Was Kevin McCarthy All Along https://t.co/1ANz9nHFrB https://t.co/EolVfbEWJp

NPR Says They Always Strive To Feature A Broad Range Of Opinions From Slightly Communist To Very Communist https://t.co/atb27rh03G https://t.co/KVIV7NS9iX