Once-Bustling Mall Now Just 300 Spirit Halloweens And 5 Starbucks https://t.co/vQQHHGLBqL https://t.co/ZnhqjgnCwp

Too Far: Texas Dispatches Thwomps To Guard Border https://t.co/wOJfMYzUyJ https://t.co/9bUBFSTifz

'They Got You In Here Too, Huh?' Says Biden As Dems Lock Kamala In Basement https://t.co/B6QnoMVazy https://t.co/7jQN8Hgnj2

Local Man Expelled From Church Of Christ For Playing Drums On Steering Wheel https://t.co/Alp3NaC321 https://t.co/FRSkxuZFHQ

Kamala Harris Inspires Little Girls That If They Work Really Hard, Someday They Can Be Passed Over For A Less Qualified Person Who Slept With The Boss https://t.co/gJb3wnNxOw https://t.co/ztN4xLjOZ0

Apostles Getting Really Tired Of Peter Yelling "DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?" Every Five Minutes https://t.co/DYEJ9WuSTB https://t.co/SlmktnrfuV

Tim Walz Backs Out Of VP Nomination After Learning VPs Sometimes Have To Deploy To Dangerous Places Overseas https://t.co/GGCFMNDMqo https://t.co/CHHnNCJCqg

Sad: Olympics Official Unable To Get Female Boxing Medal Over Giant Adam's Apple https://t.co/XLvQLeEGjN https://t.co/Htzx4aCvqF

Wife's Loud Gasp While Reading Phone Means Someone Either Died Or Got A New Handbag https://t.co/mPGqjtrLBS https://t.co/EKa9QNsaM8

Kamala Harris Seen Cackling Uncontrollably, Likely Meaning WWIII Has Begun https://t.co/fYGEG0oV0V https://t.co/Oqgp9pU8pJ

Gideons Now Smuggling Thomas Sowell Books Into Public Schools https://t.co/8AWQQjcZAY https://t.co/QehS0W7C65

‘JD Vance Is Weird,’ Says Guy Who Signed Bill To Put Tampons In Boys' School Bathrooms https://t.co/ngbO6sBPEr https://t.co/6wtXQILEzx

RFK Jr. Tells Story About Time He Hijacked Airplane, Parachuted Out With Bags Of Money, And Got Away Scot-Free https://t.co/IT4a47S42t https://t.co/EXYvqgYEHV

'I Guess I'd Better Get This Over With,' Sighs Millennial Before Googling 'What Is Brat' https://t.co/1k0duomyEE https://t.co/CUvIRC3pRs

10 Great Benefits Of Being A Pastor's Kid https://t.co/bASCQIZFG4 https://t.co/oc5FFzE3Su

Suspicions Rise As New Footage Shows Secret Service Helping Adjust Trump Shooter's Scope https://t.co/T5b7Bnzcvu https://t.co/5JunMd5ZZP

Tim Walz Reveals First 10 Things He Would Do In Office https://t.co/VLLqxZx3WU https://t.co/oYUUDho9Dz

Josh Shapiro Annoyed He Got This 'Death To Israel' Neck Tattoo For Nothing https://t.co/5jphdu9LTu https://t.co/rlJwmu9j1i

Tim Walz Vows To Make America As Great As Minneapolis https://t.co/otYuzanStD https://t.co/LR2X4zoGEx

The Babylon Bee Guide To All The Different Christian Denominations https://t.co/6Ph57vK2aM https://t.co/91DdKXYXJc