Breaking: If Elected Trump Promises To Create A Derogatory Slur For Canadians https://t.co/Dqx4x5Hsk3 https://t.co/7JvorJNLzW

NFL Introduces Rainbow Flag For Refs To Throw When Players Aren't Being Gay Enough https://t.co/MvWAHUYcMU https://t.co/ujzF5Iy0QD

U-Haul Introduces Armored War Rigs For Californians Trying To Flee State's Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland https://t.co/xaxZNL4swc https://t.co/54l7dcsJHX

Awesome: Netflix Will Now Just Pump Septic Waste Straight Into Your Living Room https://t.co/9zq8HxsIrC https://t.co/dj2K41r0E0

Food Review: Ketchup—A Complex, Well-Crafted Culinary Delight https://t.co/zQ9wyg4QoE https://t.co/PWoDwVP7bE

Accountant At Party Realizes Too Late That Person Asking Him About His Work Was Just Being Polite https://t.co/QKkJgT8OpL https://t.co/GTomMtbA2c

Sad: Woman Cuddled Up Watching Movie With Her Kids And Husband Completely Missing Out On Being Drunk At A Club Somewhere https://t.co/ZqZQrUoCL1 https://t.co/VGSD6IHtID

After Motorcade Involved In Fender Bender, Tim Walz Adds Purple Heart To Resume https://t.co/hckwMjGUNx https://t.co/bWsM1aYDjK

Trump Prepares For Debate Against Kamala By Going To Bar And Arguing With Drunks https://t.co/aXWC9Ohuw7 https://t.co/PJStgQ6xtw

10 Deadly Days In History That Were Still Less Deadly Than January 6 https://t.co/h47pIb1Ykg https://t.co/eYr4N5UFtr

Tucker Carlson Guest Suggests Avengers Were The Real Villains In Infinity War https://t.co/LnfaOMYNlE https://t.co/LsodgWDWUP

10 Famous Quotes From History As Reported By The Associated Press https://t.co/liF9GFjU1B https://t.co/OcqydKoNOH

'Parents Should Not Brainwash Kids Into Their Religion,' Says Progressive Mom Of 3 Trans Kids https://t.co/m47d188t0S https://t.co/mAeYuG7dr0

Source Says Kamala Was Promoted At McDonald's After Having Affair With Mayor McCheese https://t.co/k5ThaVb2VB https://t.co/okgqTwPjC7

Tim Walz’s Dog Endorses Trump https://t.co/k6L7GApKal https://t.co/e8ao8lQefq

9 Best Reasons To Go Make A Baby RIGHT NOW https://t.co/rq040SwJQY https://t.co/QWvNFk6Gy8

Report: Go To Church You Heathen https://t.co/BfNDwzlkyb https://t.co/nhv0hgaE3M

Americans Unanimously Agree To Vote For Whichever Candidate Stops Sending Them Campaign Donation Text Messages https://t.co/RyfImnGlcK https://t.co/f8NXSkzF7v

Theologians Debate Whether God Could Design IKEA Bookcase Even He Could Not Assemble https://t.co/u2jzAHJ7QA https://t.co/5GxxstvedW

In Interest of Fairness, Chicago White Sox To Be Allowed To Use Batting Tee https://t.co/HaHU1NNIPN https://t.co/TwHrdhLgl9