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hugedatabase
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Want to know my dark secrets? The first boobs I looked at was my Sunday school teacher's. Kris Johnson. Damn girl.

I turned the patriot act into a really good idea.

One super power: you'll cover it up with more crimes.

It's very obvious the elected leaders aren't in the loop ()

My bastards are none of your business.

"he chemically castrated himself?"

I was a smart kid.

Certain auto corrections are very telling of who's reviewing footage.

Go to college > get three degree > hear about how stupid you are for the next 30 years

I wonder why I didn't have children?

The aging caring for the aging. If only we saw this coming...

Want a better stock tip than Nvidia? Check out bowling allies. Business is booming.

If you are mad I haven't pushed enough pencils, I got expelled for telling another student how networks worked and was unexpelled, punished with sharpening pencils.

I've pushed more pencils than everyone at the Pentagon combined.

The fact that you need to weigh the options means Trump will be an awesome president.

Your options:

A) nuke the planet

Or

B) come clean