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Springtime for Zeon (Woggy Mk II)
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"How'd I get here? Ah, it's a long story. I graduated from UMSOT (Undergrad MS Operator training) and test pilot school in '77, back when it was on side 6. Oh, yeah, back then it was something different, we didn't have mobile suits back then, it was MWOTC... Anyways, when the war started, I was a ball pilot for a few weeks, flew three sorties and scored a lucky kill on a Zaku I, and 'cause I was the only one with a kill under my belt, I got chosen to fly with some secret squirrel things on the White Base (back then they just called it the Pegasus). Turns out in order to work on that top secret, feddie zaku ripoff, we couldn't be active EFSF personnel. We got discharged from the service so we could fly for some private shell company. Yeah, we lost MIL benefits, but the pay was so good we figured we'd go for it. We had three weeks to study the manuals and get trained on the simulators while we flew out to our assignment. They put me on the RX-78(a3/4) , but when we were en route to rendezvous to Side 7, the EFSF gave me my walking papers. Turns out, get...get THIS shit: They didn't "need my services any more." Can you believe that? One of the only guys trained on their new, crazy invincible MS, and they fired me.They tossed me, an ace, a qualified TEST PILOT out on my ASS. FOR A G/D FOURTEEN YEAR OLD. Yeah, you know who?! It was the doctor's kid, right? Remember that Tamm Ray guy from the training videos? Yeah, he got HIS kid to be the gundam pilot. Oh, no they tossed all of us. The entire team of mobile suit pilots, gone. Didn't even reassign us. So we're sittin' there, just lookin out the window, watching the stars go by, just angry as all hell, y'know? Fuming. I get an idea, right? So I says to the other guys, who cares? The zeeks need us more than the feddies do, so I went up front, showed the captain our discharge papers, and turned that sum'bitch around. Anyways, long story short, boy do those GM's explode easy! Oh man, jokes on them, the feddies drafted a LOT of stupid 14 year olds to drive those death traps.....so uh, what brings you to Axis?"

LET IT BE KNOWN THE ROASTIE IN QUESTION IS A PAJEET (or similarly adjacent brownoid)

She’s commenting on bollywood crap and following cringe redditard nonsense. Also she’s really bad at sex and that’s always a funny roastie L.

https://www.reddit.com/user/brightestsstar/

huh….he left his, “chain and locket”, you say? Hmmm.. That’s crazy, you girls usually have great taste in knowing what men you should let inseminate you within 3 hours of meeting.

feasible with a few years if the end goal is a decoy/drone on a one-way ticket somewhere. Would take a few years to get things up and running but we’re restoring WWII aircraft that have been sitting in jungles since the 40’s so tossing a few fresh rubber seals in an F16 is somewhat feasible

come to think of it one of/ THE prettiest blonde girl I ever met WAS in the area where the nazis ran away to…….fair chance I really DID hit on mengele’s test tube princess IRL

I wish I’d’ve hooked into those paperweights, there was a load of lowers destroyed but you could get the section w/ the rollmark for fun. WOuld have been a cute desk toy

Still don’t like this guy but this tweet is solid

when I’m posting on the clock I can only see them in tiny thumbnail, easy to miss the nipple border in 72x72px

I had a similar one, the steiner catalog has a lot of fun lil gimmicks. I can’t even remember what I like past the monocular and their little DBAL illuminator, but I remember thinking $5k would get all my toys

my girl heard us laughing at the term “mudshark phenotype” and now she uses it like a blanket insult to any girl that draws her ire

I have a grab bag of non-phrases to use when people interrupt me and I’m doing something, like a mental “out of office” response

“hey do you know - “

“the smelly one?”

“yeah, her!”

“……wait, what were you saying?”

want a fantasy build of one of these, but instead of using 8 C batteries to fuel an anemic laser it’s a modern unit bright enough to burn through soft plastics and federal corneas

I find it very wrong to see american governors doing this weird foreign affairs stuff. It’d be one thing if we were at least more state-focused and they could do something useful.

Just seems like it would be unthinkable 200 years back to tell them “oh yeah our governors just visit countries on the other side of the world to shake hands”

You cannot fathom the physical revulsion experienced until your ears process a chunky old man in his 60’s bragging about how much”tight yung pussy“ they get (chubby gold digger sugar babies) because “you kids are pussies, your DADS have to come fuck your women so they can actually climax”

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I see your scantily clad alkie and substitute my own

I love it when gen X fags try to quote simpsons and south park and it just falls utterly flat.

“south park? come on, haven’t you guys seen it?!?!”

“……no, it sucks ass”

“what? south park is hilarious“

“….then why isn’t anyone laughing?”

chipping away at my immunity day by day