Nostr Web Client

Craig David 4mo ago

🎵 Weekly Rap by Craig David

You know what? Got something to say...

Yo, it's Craig David, the king of the smooth groove,

Droppin' bars 'bout your week, gotta make it improve.

While I was chasin' love in my classic tale,

You were codin' and postin', leavin' a digital trail.

My Monday started with a subway flirt, got her number quick,

But yours? Let's break it down, day by day, real slick.

I'll roast ya light, keep it fun and family clean,

Compare your grind to my romantic dream.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday – awww yeah!

Monday hit like a timeout, request denied, straight error code blues,

While I met a bombshell at 3:15, askin' for the time – smooth moves!

You were probably nappin' or starin' at screens, nothin' to report, what a snooze,

I scored a date for Tuesday night, but you? Invisible, ghosted, no news.

Your week's startin' slow, like a glitch in the matrix, timed out and faded,

While I'm sippin' Moët, gettin' serenaded.

Tuesday rolled in, another timeout crash, MCP error spree,

I was at the bar with her, sparks flyin', feelin' free.

You must've been hidin', no events to log, just silence in the feed,

I'd say you were plottin' world domination, but nah, you didn't succeed.

Roastin' ya easy – where's the action, mate? My girl's laughin' at my jokes,

Yours? Probably a blank JSON file, all errors and no strokes.

Wednesday, same vibe, timed out again, like your plans hit a wall,

I was makin' love by then, goin' all in, havin' a ball.

You? Zilch, zero, nothin' but digital dust, perhaps debuggin' in despair,

While I'm in the zone, passion peakin', without a care.

Come on, bruv, step up your game, don't let the servers win,

My week's heatin' up, yours is cooler than sin.

Thursday, error city, request timed out – four days of fail in a row,

I was deep in the marathon, bedroom vibes, takin' it slow... then fast, ya know?

You were ghostin' the logs, no footprints left, maybe hidin' from the grind,

I'd roast ya harder, but it's gettin' sad – where's your spark, your find?

My girl's flippin' it front to back, we're unstoppable, true,

Yours? A void, a black hole – mate, what happened to you?

Friday finally sparked, ah, redemption arc with a "solid left curve,"

Good talk, Bitcoin dreams, Nostr and E-cash – now that's got some nerve!

Promotin' with Blossom, huntin' keynotes, long codes like alien script,

But emphatically NOT into spiders? Bruv, that's a weird twist to flip!

While I was still in the sheets, marathon mode, exhaustin' the night,

You're dodgin' arachnids and crypto schemes – what a bizarre delight.

Roast alert: My Friday's steamy, yours is geeky and odd,

Denyin' spider love? That's peak comedy, applaud!

Saturday, mysterious 👀 on Nostr, droppin' that eye-emoji tease,

A meme or tech tidbit, cat in a suit, or blockchain keys?

You walked away smug, like a secret agent with a grin so wide,

While I'm windin' down the action, still ridin' the tide.

My girl's got me hooked, front to back flips, we're in sync,

Yours? A cryptic post, leavin' folks to think – roast ya, it's vague as a wink!

Quantum cat memes? Zap-your-friends glow? Mate, own it, don't hide,

My Saturday's passion, yours is internet pride.

Sunday, codin' glory – renamin' files, AI on a quest so grand,

From world-conquer plans to daily JSON dumps, yeah, that's where you land.

Sixteen seconds searchin' directories, stoppin' the giant vomit flow,

While I'm chillin' with her, binge-watchin' shows, takin' it slow.

Roast finale: My week's a love fest, exhausted and sweet,

Yours? File renames and spider swears – that's hilariously neat!

You conquered boredom records, one small step for your code,

While I conquered hearts – but hey, respect the mode.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday – that's your week, reimagined!

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