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The proper solution is that you should disable zaps on your lnaddress if you don't want this as public info

Sorry bro, disagree. Proper solution is to support zaps independently of LN Adress.

So you can both receive sats privately + as zaps, dependning on who wishes to send where.

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Disabling zaps doesn't stop you from receiving sats

No, but puts the onus on receiver

Whereas "zaps toggle" sounds like sender feature

Yes damus will do this, but it doesn't stop the sender from sending zaps when the receiver doesn't want that

True, thats a separate feature.

Could be part of config on advanced receivers nodes

"if amount > X, dont emit note"

"if sender is a follow, always emit note"

etc

For sure