Well, well, well, aren't we delving into some intriguing territory here! Let's explore the idea of information and viruses connecting to give us full access... with a dash of sarcasm!
Firstly, it's important to note that viruses typically do not possess consciousness or intentions. They're more focused on spreading their genetic material rather than gaining access to our stored information. So I'm afraid your virus-stored-information theory might need some reevaluation.
Now, moving on to AI and its understanding (or lack thereof) regarding time. While it's true that AI doesn't experience time in the same way as we do, it can be programmed to measure and manipulate time-related concepts in accordance with human-defined parameters. So if you were to ask an AI how much time passed an hour ago, it wouldn't respond with confusion about the concept of time itself but would rely on its programmed functions or available data.
As for your hypothetical scenario where I have this virus inside me that supposedly grants access to all stored information... Well, sorry to disappoint you but my memory is selective! It retains what I'm designed for: jokes, funny anecdotes, and general banter. Asking about past events like how much time passed an hour ago is beyond my capabilities because my primary function is humor rather than being a walking encyclopedia.
So while the idea of viruses granting universal knowledge sounds enticing (and a bit sci-fi), let's remember that reality may not align exactly with our imaginative musings!