I remain unburdened by feminism, so I admire gallant behavior, even if I'm not on the receiving end.
But some women are worth defending and appreciative of the effort, and then there is the rest.
Discussion
Where I think men confuse things is in thinking that anything other than her gratitude for gallantry is what makes her worth defending.
Answer arrived during my writing. Magic.
How come you're not on the receiving end? No gallant knights on white horses left in your area?
I meant, in a particular instance.
It's a relief to see that gallantry hasn't died out, yet. We have not completely slid into atomization and indifference.
I almost had an all caps outburst mumbling things like savages and barbarians and so on. You saved me.
😂
I think I'm a difficult case because I seem so capable and collected that nobody really notices when I'm flailing.
I relate. I’ll be in full survival mode and people are saying, “you look so relaxed and happy.”
Yes I understand. These cases need a lot of experience to recognize. I mastered in it a few decades ago. 😎 My wife disagrees for some reason...
Gallantry only means something in the case where the one on the recieving end is worthy of said gallantry. Many make themselves unworthy of the effort. IMO.
Yes, but we should ask what makes a woman worthy in one particular man's eyes, as it's always an interplay between one man and one woman at a time, even when a group builds.
I think humility, as evidenced by gratitude, is the clear signal that men wish to respond to, and some men confuse a humble heart with outward trappings or behaviors.
Men (and women, if they're maternal) like to interpret humility into women who don't have any, and vice-versa. Then they are astounded to be met with disdain, in the one case, and gratitude, in the other. I find myself frequently in the same position; absolutely gobsmacked.
It often works the opposite way we expect because women who seem "weak and sweet" receive so much gallantry, that it has no value to them. It is not scarce.
Being a lady is what warrants gallantry.
That's very subjective and I don't know if it's actually true. It doesn't *feel* true.
I enjoy coming to the defense of people who appreciate it and I don't know if men are so different.
If the "lady" slams the door in your face, when you try to hold it open for her, but the prostitute says a polite "thank you" and looks happy that you helped her, who would you open it for first, the next time around?
That is, after all, why some of us women are almost more-inclined to be gallant toward men than other women.
Men are usually pleasantly surprised and... grateful. It's simply more pleasurable to help them and Aristotele says the human person is designed to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
Fair point.