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XMPP is the gold standard for the darkweb, known for OMEMO and OTR encryption.

Nostr metadata is out in the open. The clients don't all have the gift wrap, only a few do. And the new gift wrap v3 isn't audited last I heard. Also without the gift wrap, there's no rotating keys, so then you might as well use Session which follows a similar model with relays and encryption as identity.

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Sincerely don't know anyone still using XMPP today, was used like 15 years ago and died long ago. If there is something like a gold standard, today that would be Telegram. Followed by IRC and plain forum sites for everything else. My preference would be BBS but even that is gone now.

NOSTR is more private by default than XMPP, all defects you point the finger are applicable to XMPP when working at federal level. At least NOSTR has room to grow, to use techniques like I2P between server to server communication and then also with clients.