I was today years old when I really realized something.

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I beat him in several competitions... spelling... reading... science... he was better at math usually.

My outlook on life was a little nihilistic. Everything was kinda pointless and I didn't care and usually put in minimal effort.

He went goth/punk/emo and made an attempt to reconnect by studying with me in a way that I didn't really consider as studying.

I was always going off and doing other research that wasn't assigned. Generally bored with everything. I used to learn quickly.

He couldn't beat me and inevitably joined me... but I never really saw it.

His face when I got to the next round in a spelling bee and he didn't and I told him I tried to fail because I wasn't about to go on stage... to which the next round I spelled everything wrong and made everyone disappointed because I refused to go to nationalis.

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