Another thing: not that the House of Zuck is the best role model, but hasn't Facebook required actual, real-name identities to use the network since basically the beginning?

Perhaps if "private groups" means not even knowing that the user has an identity on the network, the best model is something closer to a "Fediverse"-style private instance?

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Yes, and it's one of the biggest violations of privacy in history. They tricked normal people into revealing way too much about themselves. But yeah, fediverse might actually be a better solution for certain types of groups (although I'd prefer something encrypted).