Why are so many gifted students and adults underachievers?

Misguided praise.

“You’re so smart.”

It seems like an innocent compliment, right?

It’s not.

As a gifted child, you’re told that constantly.

It becomes a part of your identity. That’s what makes you special. That’s what people like about you: your intelligence. You are only valued if you are smart.

Now, when you’re little, school is easy. Especially for you. You don’t have to try at all, and you get every question right on every test. “It’s because you’re so smart,” your friends tell you enviously. Being smart means you can do everything perfectly, you conclude.

The thing is, school gets harder. Life gets harder. The 100% at the top of your tests turns into a 96%, which drops to an 89%. You try out new hobbies and realize there are things you aren’t innately talented at. You begin to doubt your abilities. What if you can’t do everything perfectly?

Well, then you wouldn’t be smart.

And if you’re not smart, then what are you?

Worthless.

So you underachieve.

It’s a genius solution.

If you don’t try, failure doesn’t count. After all, you tell yourself, you could’ve gotten a perfect grade… if you’d tried.

Which you didn’t.

The thing is, the less you try, the less confident you get. Sure, you could’ve done better if you’d put more effort in.

Maybe.

You don’t know anymore, and you’re too afraid to find out.

Because if you do your best, and your best still isn’t good enough—

You’re nothing.