If you are like me and can’t seem to remember Hallmark holidays, like Mother’s Day, I feel for you.

Best way to handle forgetting Mother’s Day?

Tell your wife that lucky for her, today is “Smother’s Day,” and then lay on her with all of your body weight. If she isn’t giggling and forgetting her grievance in a few seconds, I’m a monkey’s uncle.

Oh, and you should probably still buy her some flowers. She did carry your child after all!