i'm probably going to go with the special header tho. it needs to be non-spoofable. i think that's already covered because the auth events for replicas are from replicas, just that at the moment, there isn't a 1:1 relation between allowed pubkeys and their expected addresses. i think if i switch up the configuration scheme so it pairs pubkey and address together then split them into a collection of address, key that this will let me prevent sending back to the sender who triggered the replication.
so, a little more work yet before this is done. just to avoid that pointless send when the event is already saved to send it back to who it was sent by when it can be known that was a peer. other than that, say i have 3, then the receiver sends to two, and each of those will send to each other AND back to the receiver.
it just sorta seems like to be sure it gets complete propagation, there can't be any such checking, if the event is already stored in the relay then it can know by this fact that it doesn't need to relay it again. so, it's a complete graph replication, times two. which guarantees full propagation, it just ... i'm just not happy with this. seems like something that could be optimized