Someone I hadn't seen in over a year ran into me in the coop saying "it literally made my day running into you". I am just visiting what was my stomping grounds for over 8 years. In reference to my current flow and always shifting whereabouts out of necessity, she asked "But you are happy right?!?" and it really caught me off guard. I sat with it afterwards. I was stumbling... it seems like I feel the expected social norm is to just say "yeah!!!!" put on a big smile and carry on. It's hard for me to lie and I am glad I ran into her. I got to after the fact drop in with myself and speak outloud the reality that's actually present for me. Somehow I was having a hard time answering it a few days ago when I asked "are you happy" on #nostr. It's because I was seeking the answer but wasn't quite able to fabricate a satisfying one. Gratitude seems to always be a remedy in such times... But yeah, doing the best I can with it all.

And making some decisions to swing the pendulum authentically the other way, while acknowledging the lows are part of life too. Yet, I am taking the conscious choice to start a new ritual tonight and leave my phone outside of my sleeping quarters for the night + make a giant effort to walk with a lot more mindfulness and presence in my life in the coming days and weeks. More meditation. More breath. More dance and more moving of my hips and pelvis and enlivening that life force Shakti. Fascia and connective tissue exercises. Walks. River. Dates. Quiting coffee yet again. Bone broth and GAPS diet stews. Focus. Slow deliberate diligent progress one step at a time. Declutter. Clear the slate clean. Organize. Mobilize. Breathe. More self care, more self love. More acceptance. More surrender. More relaxing into being in the here and now in this body at this time. #dailydhiyana