GM.
For those out there nuero-divergent super powers, how do you make sure you don’t suck at relationships? Wifey says she’s a constant afterthought for me compared to the current obsession (bitcoin at this point) and she’s not wrong. Gimme some tips on focusing family first more.
GM 🤙🏽☕️☀️
First!
Congratulations on recognizing your limitations.
Second, keep asking yourself those important questions.
Dedicate a special time for you two. Bring out an old board game? Play with each other. You are good companions, make sure you play well too.
This is probably the biggest key to unlock. I’m really good at scheduling time for all things I need to do except hang with wifey.
Try to take time to think about all the things about them that make your life better. Think about what your life would be like if you emerged from your bitcoin rabbit hole, but they weren't there anymore.
Read books together. My wife and I are reading the Bible together daily. If it becomes a habit, you will have that time set aside to spend with her.
🤔
I can’t recommend this idea enough. nostr:npub1jrx2fk666k5nt8vgak9xwyxlgcwh8fl9rvpwvvcpdthuqkcnptrqdfhtaq and I do this, too. Spending time with each other and also focusing on God at the same time, with the opportunity to discuss what we’re learning and seeing in scripture, is very beneficial.
Inwardly : discover yourself. Recognized anxiety. Become deeply loyal to your wife & children's wellbeing.
Outwardly : the bad stuff melts away when you can embrace fun/playfulness.
TBH, I feel like I live this way already but perspective is everything.
I don’t know if I qualify, but I think you should create a routine to spend time with her/kids. At first it’ll take conscious effort to put down the book/podcast/whatever but given enough time that habit will be built and it’ll be easier to stick to it.
1. Ask her what she needs and would like more of from you. She’s going to be better equipped to talk about that than any of us!
Aside from that, my suggestions would be:
2. Golden rule. Put yourself in her shoes; if you were her, would you feel you’re seeing each other enough / talking enough / working together enough / bonding enough? As a discipline I think it would be good to explicitly ask self this question at least once a week until hitting a stride, afterwards maybe just at random and special times like before big decisions.
3. Whenever you’re together, be present, focused on what you’re doing and with whom.
4. Do some things together that she enjoys, especially something she hasn’t been able to do in a while.
5. Make time to have conversations. If they need to be about something that’s wrong or some daily life thing that needs to get done, then ok, they do. But the more those things get taken care of, the more room there is to talk as friends and have fun, which I think is an important part of feeling fulfilled and that you’re actually a top priority to the other person.
6. Encourage this kind of communication! If she’s been feeling this way for a while and thought you knew, do your best to learn to perceive how she’s been trying to express that to you, but also let her know that a direct approach is also welcome so you know clearly what to work on.
7. Pray about it and pray together about this and other things.
8. Remind yourself that all this is a lifestyle pattern, not something that ca be done for a while and the problem is fixed.
Good luck 🫂
