You can whitelist npubs for write access, but can you also whitelist for read access?

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Sure. Relaying things only to whitelisted npubs and ignoring all the rest.

Also your relay is free of unwanted data, only for your homies.

You could even host your personal relay on your home network just for personal notes and other stuff 😁

Wait maybe you can quote a post with just the note ID?

note18klmq4u3tguytz36cv0ks2lcrwzgpcffmtmtp7qmhyat0kka06fqfeah39