I've been getting onboarded to Nostr over the past week, and the pain of Lightning and especially non-custodial wallets is really. I'm not disagreeing with that. However, it's not like Monero is trivial and easy either, I very nearly couldn't recover my XMR when I decided to liquidate.
Point being: I'm not really trying to judge the systems based on today's usability, which IMO sucks fairly universally. It's based on which technology has the best potential. For me, BTC as wealth, store of value, and ultimately unit of account, with Lightning providing medium of exchange capabilities, seems like a great combination of monetary design and privacy.