I don't understand why anyone is still buying these things...

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It's baffling.

As someone who is trying to learn, what are my alternatives?

Depends what you are trying to do.

I would like to contribute in the hardware space for NOSTR. I have an arduino, and I have an ESP32 dev board coming.

On the more ambitious side, I would like to make an e-reader of somekind. But I'm not there yet.

ESP32 is a great place to start with hardware.

$50 ebay lenovo

Low power usage. I have lxc running on pi, does it's job well. 0 noise.

What's a better option?

Old laptop? Copy start9's server pure specs?

I run a node on a raspi4 been thinking about upgrading to something better.

What you want to do?

I want to learn more about fedimints and DLCs on nostr, I'm kind of a basic user where raspi served me well but I like start9 has backups and redundancy for when I want to take it to the next level I can't risk a significant amount.

My umbrel loses connection once every 3-4 weeks with an UPS and the forced resets have me concerned.

My experience as well. None of my other rpis do this, though. I have *cough* a lot of them. This is bad news for me. I still have a Beaglebone Black lying around, wonder if that's any good.

I've been reading up on CLN vs LND

would the best setup be on CLN and run a watchtower on another node to ensure I have the latest channel state in the event of a failure?

because having LND backups static channels or whatever really isn't great due to a forced channel close is the best resolution in the event of failure.