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Just curious, if being a creep is the wrong way to approach a woman, and also making normal conversation is also the wrong way, what would you say is the actual proper way for a regular guy to appeoach girls? We all know women rarely approach men (for good reasons) so I just wonder how things would work out for humans in general if men just stopped striking conversation? I think we would all be extinct in few ten years 😂

joiestylotus 2y ago

There’s a BIG difference in a guy politely approaching a woman and a creepy way to do it.

Like intensely staring at a woman (this happens to me often and makes me very uncomfortable), being obvious about checking out her body or making comments about her body is the WRONG approach.

You can tell a woman she’s pretty or beautiful but not comment on her body or body part. And definitely NEVER touch a stranger woman’s body parts without her permission/consent!

Most girls are taught to be polite so prob won’t do anything, but I have and will definitely hit a guy if that happens.

Buying or sending a woman a 🍷🍸🍹drink is a way to signal interest in USA by men but that prob varies in countries/culture.

Do Finnish guys do that?

But lot of girls are happy to accept free drinks, so it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s interested in guy who bought it for her.

There’s no need to come up with a cheesy line in attempting to hit on a woman, just be sincere. If she’s interested — usually it’s about physical attraction & cues at first — she’ll respond.

If a guy can make a girl laugh, that scores MAJOR points!

Personally, I’ve spoken to random guys if they seem interesting or if I like what they’re wearing, curious about a book they were reading or simply in a chatty mood and like their vibe/energy. It def does NOT mean I’m interested in dating them cuz I do that with women as well; it’s a people thing.

Oh and girls are very sensitive to scents. So I definitely notice when a guy (or person) smells good or if he’s stinky. Personal hygiene, taking showers/baths regularly and using deordant is very imporant!

And I do think phermones is a valid thing. Everyone has a natural scent and if a girl doesn’t like a guy’s natural body scent, he’s not getting anywhere with her. They’ve done studies about phermones re attraction.

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Discussion

Prox 2y ago

So if the guy had bought you the toasted coconut coffee instead of talking about it, he would have seemed less of a weirdo?

Over here guys sometimes try to buy women drinks but it is often seen as a bad thing too. Women here want to be financially equal to men and want to buy their own drinks. I have found it's easier just starting conversations about innocent subjects and see where it leads. If there is chemistry, great. If not, at least you didn't sound like a creep. Tho I do understand it may be odd if someone starts talking about a coffee three times, maybe he is just hoping the conversation would develop to other topics aswell

joiestylotus 2y ago

I was at a grocery store so it would’ve been VERY odd if he had bought the coconut coffee for me!

If we had been at a cafe or coffeeshop, that would’ve been a nice thing for a stranger to buy me coffee. He seemed like a nice enough person (didn’t think he was a weirdo), but I was NOT interested.

I ran into him at 3 different spots while shopping, and he made comments to me. I was simply being polite by chatting to him.

Re women in Finland not into men buying them drinks — makes sense to me, assuming it’s a Scandi thing since gender equality in Scandi countries (Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland) is excellent compared to other countries around 🌎🌍🌏?

I personally like and appreciate being bought a drink, whether coffee or alcoholic beverage.

It’s also very common thing in the UK and I’ve had 🇬🇧friends of 🇬🇧friends buy me drinks. They’re also my friends now. All lovely, fun, smart, interesting people. UK people definitely enjoy drinking, haha.