“That one is blessed, and at peace who doesn’t hope, to whom desire makes no more loans.

Nothing coming. Nothing owed”

- lalla

How might desire be a loan?

Desire as a loan implies something borrowed—something not inherently ours, yet compelling us forward with the gravity of a debt.

1. Desire borrows from the future

When we desire something, we often project ourselves into a future state—a better body, more freedom, a fulfilled relationship, a successful project. But we don’t own that future. Instead, we take out a sort of psychological loan: “I’ll suffer now, defer satisfaction, and pay interest in the form of anxiety, striving, or longing—because I believe this future payoff will be worth it.”

The terms of the loan?

Hope. Imagination. Dopamine. Sometimes delusion.

2. Desire borrows from others

Many of our desires are inherited or suggested. From culture, advertising, parents, peers, Instagram. René Girard called this mimetic desire—we want what others want because we’ve seen it desired, not because it sprang from our true nature.

We take out this loan on someone else’s terms, sometimes waking up one day asking, “Wait, whose life am I living?”

3. Desire requires collateral

Every desire makes a demand: What are you willing to give? Time? Attention? Sanity?

Like a loan, desire often requires collateral—sometimes even identity itself. You put your current self up as the cost of your becoming. If the desire is real and aligned, the return can be immense. If not, you risk bankruptcy of the soul.

4. What is the interest rate?

If we’re unconscious about our desires, the interest can be crippling. We can live in a constant state of “not yet,” where fulfillment is always just out of reach. We pay with our presence. We accrue spiritual debt. This is the samsaric wheel—chasing the next hit.

But if we become aware of our desires—really interrogate them—then we can renegotiate the terms. Choose only the loans worth taking. Or sometimes… live debt-free. Desire-less, not in numb detachment, but in presence. In the abundance of what is.

5. Sometimes the lender is Grace

There’s another kind of desire, though—the sacred kind. The shakti rising. The kind that doesn’t borrow from the future but flows from the Now. That desire is not lack, but overflow. It’s not a loan but a gift. A signal from the soul, guiding us toward our becoming.

The trick is discerning which is which.

⸻

So, desire can be a loan—but it doesn’t have to be.

It can be a debt that keeps you running, or a current that lifts you home.