Umbrel is easier barrier to entry, more beginner friendly. However I recommend start9. Once you get start9 up and going it'll satisfy those desires you mentioned. I am in the same boat you are, I have not done either. I'm saving money, start9 is kind of high for me.

I think the best is learn from online tutorials (btc sessions YouTube) and read the start9 documentation. Be confident in it before you purchase.