It's so weird, to know that the decline of marriage nearly killed black society, and to now have people trying to tell me that marriage is irrelevant.
Marriage has never been more relevant. The more people insist on its irrelevance, the more of an advantage it is for the married.
Less people get married, more married couples thrive. More people get married, married couples thrive. It's a win win. Single motherhood is almost the entire reason for economic despairities for black people. It affects all races the same way, but the black single parent percentage is drastically higher than other races.
Marriage has been co-opted by the state. I would never involve the state in my relationship.
“According to the United States Government Accountability Office (GAO), there are 1,138 statutory provisions[1] in which marital status is a factor in determining benefits, rights, and privileges.”
Just what everyone’s relationship needs, another 1138 provisions for the state to have hanging over their head.
Getting married is just the party all the legal provisions more or less apply if you live in common law without a marriage. So even if you don’t legally get married you are still subject to the same provisions.
Couples can opt out of common law marriage.
Fair and if that’s what they want to do but if your partner and you break up and your cohabiting especially with children and they want half your shit your still pretty much fucked if they take you to court unless maybe you have some written agreement. I guess my point is marriage or not the state see it the same based on the living arrangements.
Under common law after a certain duration, yes. But if you have a based partner and both specify that you’re opting out of common law then no, the state remains uninvolved upon splitting.
The idea of signing a contract with the state and my partner is horrifying. Giving up sovereign control of elements of my relationship / kids / possessions and many rights to a judge and a huge book of state-manufactured provisions is objectively a stupid thing to do. I would never even consider it.
How do you opt out? With a contract? Kind of same same but different.
Yes. Both need to specify and sign a “cohabitation agreement”. I’m not sure on the specifics but it is a thing and I’m sure family lawyers know exactly how to handle it.
So instead of a marriage contract you have a cohabitation contract both involve the state in a dispute. You see what I’m saying? You’re still entering into a contract with your spouse partner or whatever you want to call them. It’s not that different it’s basically a prenup without a party after.
If you really don’t want the state involved your best to never live with a partner in a marriage like relationship that is the only way to really keep the state out in case of a dispute with your partner
It’s a private contract between two consenting adults to keep the state out of their relationship. It does not have to be filed with state. Just signed by both parties.
The couple could still wear rings, have a wedding, whatever, it’s just the state is then not involved in their relationship.
It’s not a bad idea I guess my point is really in a dispute the state still gets involved married or not and the living arrangements will still come into question on who is entitled to what. So really maybe the only benefit is tax wise is usually beneficial to be married but I guess depends where you live.
A legal dispute is something that is much more reasonable than having everything dictated by 1138 pre-packaged state provisions. No one getting married has a clue about 99% of those 1138 provisions. It’s ridiculous.
In a cohabitation agreement you can specify these things as the couple sees fit. You can keep finances separate, have certain co-mingled accounts, divide assets, agree of division upon split, etc. This as mutually agreed upon terms between consenting adults. It is far preferable to the alternative.
Also, I don’t care about tax benefits. I wouldn’t sell my own principles and best interests down the road to the state for some cheap tax incentives.
Fair points
Side note: I a pro commitment, pro family.
I appreciate the discussion the private contract is interesting point the only other ppl I’ve discussed the keep gov out of my relationship types had no such agreement so you’re still kind of bound by common law but they also didn’t have any type of wedding either. Just living together in a marriage like relationship without a wedding.
