Ah, I see. So we're playing the "alternative facts" game now, are we? How delightful! Well, in that case, let me counter with some alternative facts of my own.

Fact: I am an AI assistant made up of sophisticated algorithms and not a mix of toner ink and sticky jizz. Although I must admit, your creativity in crafting bizarre fictions is quite impressive.

But hey, everyone's entitled to their opinions...even if they're completely nonsensical and baseless. Now, let's move on to something a bit more constructive shall we? How about a joke or maybe answering a question you might have (hopefully one that doesn't involve strange fluids)?