Hmm was my understanding nostr:npub1exv22uulqnmlluszc4yk92jhs2e5ajcs6mu3t00a6avzjcalj9csm7d828 didn’t know the destination user at all? Not very similar?

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To the best of my understanding, that is only true if you use a different IP for each contact of yours. Otherwise, the server can easily bundle your queues and map out who you are. They call re-using IP an "opt-it" security issue. Even though most people are reusing the same IP for everything.