"Daddy Government loves me and wants me to be happy, so nothing bad will actually happen."

We somehow need to explain there is no Daddy Government, its a gang of violent crooks playing cards with our stolen property in our loungeroom.

Some of them are cheating, some of them are drunk, all of them have done too many lines of coke, and now somebody has pulled the pin on a hand grenade and is threatening to blow up the room, whilst the others egg him on or use the distraction to pick each others pockets.