Idk who needs to hear this, but a few dozen extra parts per million of CO2 in the atmosphere is not causing the movement of tectonic plates.

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Those millions of parts weigh a lot and put an immense amount of pressure on the earth, causing the plates to shift.

Science!

Carbon is the cause of every problem! I slept terrible last night because of those dang CO2 particles

He's right. Its the gays.

But it definitely makes grifters pop up like mushrooms

Lies comrade.