It is sort of enjoyable. But I reach at stage in learning something unlike this and think Why Bother?

Is there another stupid bullshit thing I want to build? Not really?

Do I really want to be employed doing this all day? Probably not, I imagine the money is an incentive tho.

Like I don't really give a shit about the world most people want to build tbh.

It's a me problem lol

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you need purpose, yes

find something you'd care enough to build

then you'll be curious enough to learn

otherwise you'd rather watch paint dry

I suspect the world needs far less computer bullshit and not more. That probably makes me incompatible with this sort of thing lol

this

But I also don't want to be homeless :):):)

there are so many other fields you may enjoy more

Good to know the basics of syntax if first time coding. Any intro book will cover this. After that I recommend AI; don't waste your time if you're not trying to be a whiz. Any job will only require a sliver of all the extra stuff you'd learn (painfully) if you tried the traditional study route imo