Is there a NIP for this? I don't see anything for "giftwrap" in the nips repo, nor anything interesting for "DM" or "direct" outside of NIP-04

Trusted relays is a hard pill to swallow, but it's still vastly better for your relay to have metadata than for *everybody* to.

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Yep, https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/issues/717 is the main thread, you can follow the links to draft NIP 44 and NIP 24 for more detail

Ah thanks, didn't check issues and PRs, just my local copy of the nips repo. Can't wait for issues+PRs on nostr already...