I dumped 12K USD, from my stack (at 75K/BTC), into hardware for these projects to build out the server rack and self host it all. I ran out of financial runway and had to pivot to fiat mining as an emergency plug. I was derailed by a few things, including the death of a close lifelong friend and before that the death of my mother, which both wrecked me in various ways.

I expected to start projects that would refill those sats, but I am having analysis paralysis.

Now I am just trying to climb back up mentally and get things rolling again, but some of that momentum is hard to regain, especially without the people close to me cheering me on. My circles have dwindled and people I thought were close friends have shown otherwise. In some of the hardest times in my life, they chose to not be there for me when I have been there and usually am the light in the darkness. I found that when times get tough, you see who people are deep down, especially when what you used to be able to offer is not on the table for a period of time.

I could say a lot, but these things weigh on you and transform your vision of people and the world as a whole.