The War Against Sunglasses

is the new

The War Against Carbs

is the new

The War Against Alcohol and Caffeine

is the new

The War Against Vaccines

is the new

The War Against Seed Oils

is the new

The War Against Women Who Aren't Homesteading Supermodels With 16 Kids and 150 IQ But No Personal Opinion

is the new

The War Against...

A fanatical religion, but make it have no actual hope, joy, or fun, where everyone dances around an orange calf, and members must spend every free moment at the gym, sunning their nether regions, or mocking everyone who doesn't agree with them (damn near everyone) as idiots.